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Sep 02, 2008 15:48

Prepare your fragile minds for -

The Official Whup Ass Stick of the United States (really ( Read more... )

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Comments 12

psymbiotic September 2 2008, 20:56:54 UTC
I wonder what the WoW stats on that mace would be. ;p

Egan

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mesatchornug September 3 2008, 00:21:58 UTC
simple - +10 vs Chaos...

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boffo September 2 2008, 21:01:29 UTC
I'm sorry, the Official Whup Ass Stick of the United States is actually this. And I may be out on a limb here, but I think that might win a fight against a mace.

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flynngrrl September 3 2008, 13:54:40 UTC
It depends on where the fight takes place. The mace has some natural advantages over a ship in non-water-based situations. I'd give the USS Teddy Roosevelt a fifty fifty shot if the fight were on land, but much better chances if the fight were to take place out on the ocean.

Probably one to one if by land, two to one if by sea?

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ged September 14 2008, 22:11:34 UTC
"Probably one to one if by land, two to one if by sea?"

Hey, this comment deserves kudos. Well said!

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hawver September 3 2008, 18:08:36 UTC
Yes, but nothing beats the mace for one on one interactions with congresspeople. It's the personal touch that I bring to the job that sets me apart.

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perich September 2 2008, 21:23:58 UTC
"according to the Congressional Record, on July 29, 1994 the Speaker pro tempore announced her intention "to direct the Sergeant at Arms to present the mace" against Rep. Maxine Waters for failure to cease speaking during a point of order. Order was subsequently restored without use of the Mace."

Also, that $400 mace in 1842 would cost $8500 today.

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selfishgene September 2 2008, 21:45:56 UTC
Does presenting a bill contrary to the constitution, count as unruly? If so, I think we may have a solution here. All we need is to get Hawver appointed as Sergeant at Arms.

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hawver September 3 2008, 17:58:45 UTC
New libertarian strategy -
Step 1: get one congressperson elected so they can nominate me to the position.
Step 2: I beat 432 congresspeople about the head and shoulders daily.
Step 3: Freedom!

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flynngrrl September 3 2008, 13:51:09 UTC
Your qualifications for this job are extensive and appropriate.

1. Can spell "sergeant" without looking it up
2. Strong desire to threaten members of congress
3. Ability to differentiate ebony maces from maces of teak, acorn wood, and bone

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hawver September 3 2008, 18:02:21 UTC
Also I played softball for years, so my batting experience will come in handy for when I try to knock the heads off various congresspeople.

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