Fic: Fifteen Things That May Have Happened at Hogwarts (Remus/Sirius) PG-13
Title: Fifteen Things That May Have Happened at Hogwarts
Rating: PG-13
Characters: MWPP
Pairings: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Summary: Fifteen things that may or may not have happened at Hogwarts during the Marauders last years.
Disclaimer: Anything you recognise does not belong to me.
12. Make me a sandwich
It was quiet within the dormitory; peacefully so. Remus breathed in deeply, enjoying it while it lasted, because really, he knew it wouldn’t for much longer. It never did.
There was a restless feeling throughout the entire room. It permeated the very air and made it so thick that it was almost suffocating.
As if on cue, Sirius leapt from his bed and proclaimed in his best whining tone, “I’m bored.”
James quickly followed and met him in the middle of the room. “Me too,” he whined as well.
Remus leaned back against his headboard and watched them in faint amusement. Both boys hopped from one foot to the other as their excess energy bubbled beneath the surface and threatened to spill over. Remus thought it was slightly comical the way their feet looked as though they were attempting to run off without the rest of their bodies.
“What are we even doing, sitting in here?” James screeched in outrage.
“Moony said he wasn’t going to do our homework for us anymore,” Peter said from his own bed, pulling his nose out of his Charms book, “so we have to do it ourselves because it’s due tomorrow and if it isn’t finished, McGonagall will turn us all into hedgehogs - remember her promising us that last time? - and she scares me -“
“Shut up, Wormtail,” Sirius said, scowling. “You’re babbling and McGonagall won’t really turn us into hedgehogs.”
Remus raised an eyebrow. “What makes you so sure of that?” he asked. “She seemed fairly determined last time.”
Sirius turned to the werewolf and said smugly, “It’s against the rules for a professor to use Transfiguration as punishment.”
Remus smiled innocently. “Really?” At Sirius’ nod of confirmation, he shrugged. “I think she might make an exception for you three.”
Sirius frowned as James and he looked at each other in concern.
“Do you really think so?” James asked worriedly.
“Oh, yes,” Remus murmured gravely, attempting to contain his laughter.
James reached out and grabbed the collar of Sirius’ robe and pulled him forward forcefully. “I can’t be a hedgehog the rest of my life, mate,” he said desperately. “She’ll keep me and use me for lessons and let those slimy Slytherins rub their hands all over me as they try to turn me into a pin cushion, which I’m almost positive will hurt like bloody hell!”
Both Remus’ and Peter’s eyes widened as they watched Sirius’ head rock back and forth as James shook him. Sirius grabbed his friend’s hands and pried them from his robes as he huffed in annoyance.
“Oi, hands off the goods!” he snapped in irritation. “Only Moony’s allowed to touch, which is actually good because he’s more than decent at it and he doesn’t manhandle me!”
James rolled his eyes and Remus saw Peter push his fingers into his ears as he started humming.
“I didn’t need to know any of that!” he cried. “What the two of you do in your spare time is absolutely none of my business.”
Sirius waggled his eyebrows as he leaned over and pulled Peter’s fingers away. “Oh, if only you knew,” he whispered. “The temptation that can come over a man in mid-day when there’s no one else around. All alone in the dorm, you and James off somewhere else…The places we’ve done things. The bathroom, the wardrobe, the window, and even…” Sirius paused for dramatic effect and Peter leaned in with wide eyes. “Your bed.”
Peter squawked and struggled free of Sirius’ grip, overbalancing in the process and rolling off the side of his bed. He hit the floor with a muffled thump and a whimper as Sirius cackled with triumphant glee.
“That’s enough, Sirius,” Remus scolded, shaking his head.
Sirius turned to him and pouted. “But, Moony, it’s so much fun to scare them like that.”
“And you do it more than enough,” the werewolf insisted. “Now, don’t you three have work to do?”
Sirius’ shoulders fell in defeat. “Bugger,” he complained.
Peter’s head appeared over the edge of his bed and he peered at them pleadingly. “He’s lying, right?” he asked tentatively. “You two didn’t really do anything in my bed, did you?”
“I’m hungry,” James suddenly proclaimed. “I vote we make a quick run down to the kitchens for some sustenance.”
“And I agree,” Sirius said, aiming a mighty kick at his book-covered bed.
“You didn’t, right?” Peter asked again, voice squeaking slightly.
“Don’t you have work to do?” Remus said pointedly.
Sirius waved his hand flippantly. “McGonagall is not going to turn us into hedgehogs,” he stated surely. “Besides, we’ve been at it for hours, Moony. Don’t we deserve a break?”
Remus gawked. “It has not been hours. You’ve been in here for thirty minutes and half of that time has been spent arguing.”
“Sirius, did you or did you not do something with Remus on my bed?” Peter asked, attempting to be intimidating. The other three boys ignored him.
“Details,” Sirius said flippantly to Remus, waving his hand again. “It feels like hours and that’s what matters.”
Remus threw his head back in defeat. “Oh, go on with you, then,” he sighed, giving up. “But I am not doing any of this work for the three of you.” He provided them all with a resolute glare before turning his attention back to his book.
“Right-o,” Sirius said, giving the werewolf a mock salute and a cheeky grin. James and he bounded to the door. “Want us to get you anything?”
“Yeah, make me a sandwich,” he replied without looking up.
It was a long moment before he realised that he hadn’t heard the sounds of their feet trampling down the stairs. He glanced up to see James staring curiously at Sirius who had stopped in the doorway and was gazing at Remus oddly.
“What?” Remus asked, slightly bewildered.
Sirius’ eyebrows rose. “You want me to make you a sandwich?”
Remus’ eyes shifted from side to side. “Yes,” he answered hesitantly. “Is there something wrong with that?”
“Oh, no, not at all,” Sirius hurried to assure as he walked towards Remus’ bed. “I just wanted to be positive that was what you said before I did anything rash.”
Remus swallowed. “Rash?” he questioned, his eyes narrowing. “What are you talking about?”
Sirius didn’t answer. He simply leaned in and gently removed the book from Remus’ hands, closing and placing it on the bedside table just as easily. He then took two steps back, squared his shoulders, and pounced.
Remus’ back collided with the mattress with a groan of springs and a muffled exclamation from his own mouth. Sirius sprawled his body atop the werewolf’s and grinned down at him.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Remus demanded, struggling to breathe against the other boy’s deadweight.
“I’m making you a sandwich,” Sirius answered in delight, grinning wickedly. “A Remus Sandwich, to be exact.”
Across the room, James collapsed against the wall and howled with laughter as Remus struggled against Sirius.
Remus scowled. “It isn’t funny, Prongs!” he shouted. “Now come here and help get this mutt off me.”
“Oh, Remus,” Sirius cried out exaggeratedly, “you know just what to do and say to make my blood boil. Move those hips, you naughty beast!”
Remus fell completely still and Sirius pouted as the werewolf glared up at him. He saw James approach out of the corner of his eye and he breathed a sigh of relief.
Then, suddenly, to make matters much worse, there was the added weight of yet another teenage boy on top of him.
“Let’s make it a double, shall we?” James said cheekily.
“If you lot don’t get off me right now,” Remus growled, “I will personally turn each one of you into a hedgehog and happily donate you to the Slytherins.”
James and Sirius simply laughed and smirked down at him.
As Remus lay beneath them, glaring for all he was worth, Peter’s shockingly shrill and panicked voice cut through the room.
“What did you do on my bed?”
--------------------------------------------
A/N: -grins- I actually have a hedgehog. His name is Oliver. I’m thinking of getting a few more and naming them James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. Then they shall forever be the Marauders! And, yes, I am mad…ignore me. I hope you enjoyed!
11. Peanut butter and jelly time 13. The Fat Lady
Rating: PG-13
Characters: MWPP
Pairings: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Summary: Fifteen things that may or may not have happened at Hogwarts during the Marauders last years.
Disclaimer: Anything you recognise does not belong to me.
12. Make me a sandwich
It was quiet within the dormitory; peacefully so. Remus breathed in deeply, enjoying it while it lasted, because really, he knew it wouldn’t for much longer. It never did.
There was a restless feeling throughout the entire room. It permeated the very air and made it so thick that it was almost suffocating.
As if on cue, Sirius leapt from his bed and proclaimed in his best whining tone, “I’m bored.”
James quickly followed and met him in the middle of the room. “Me too,” he whined as well.
Remus leaned back against his headboard and watched them in faint amusement. Both boys hopped from one foot to the other as their excess energy bubbled beneath the surface and threatened to spill over. Remus thought it was slightly comical the way their feet looked as though they were attempting to run off without the rest of their bodies.
“What are we even doing, sitting in here?” James screeched in outrage.
“Moony said he wasn’t going to do our homework for us anymore,” Peter said from his own bed, pulling his nose out of his Charms book, “so we have to do it ourselves because it’s due tomorrow and if it isn’t finished, McGonagall will turn us all into hedgehogs - remember her promising us that last time? - and she scares me -“
“Shut up, Wormtail,” Sirius said, scowling. “You’re babbling and McGonagall won’t really turn us into hedgehogs.”
Remus raised an eyebrow. “What makes you so sure of that?” he asked. “She seemed fairly determined last time.”
Sirius turned to the werewolf and said smugly, “It’s against the rules for a professor to use Transfiguration as punishment.”
Remus smiled innocently. “Really?” At Sirius’ nod of confirmation, he shrugged. “I think she might make an exception for you three.”
Sirius frowned as James and he looked at each other in concern.
“Do you really think so?” James asked worriedly.
“Oh, yes,” Remus murmured gravely, attempting to contain his laughter.
James reached out and grabbed the collar of Sirius’ robe and pulled him forward forcefully. “I can’t be a hedgehog the rest of my life, mate,” he said desperately. “She’ll keep me and use me for lessons and let those slimy Slytherins rub their hands all over me as they try to turn me into a pin cushion, which I’m almost positive will hurt like bloody hell!”
Both Remus’ and Peter’s eyes widened as they watched Sirius’ head rock back and forth as James shook him. Sirius grabbed his friend’s hands and pried them from his robes as he huffed in annoyance.
“Oi, hands off the goods!” he snapped in irritation. “Only Moony’s allowed to touch, which is actually good because he’s more than decent at it and he doesn’t manhandle me!”
James rolled his eyes and Remus saw Peter push his fingers into his ears as he started humming.
“I didn’t need to know any of that!” he cried. “What the two of you do in your spare time is absolutely none of my business.”
Sirius waggled his eyebrows as he leaned over and pulled Peter’s fingers away. “Oh, if only you knew,” he whispered. “The temptation that can come over a man in mid-day when there’s no one else around. All alone in the dorm, you and James off somewhere else…The places we’ve done things. The bathroom, the wardrobe, the window, and even…” Sirius paused for dramatic effect and Peter leaned in with wide eyes. “Your bed.”
Peter squawked and struggled free of Sirius’ grip, overbalancing in the process and rolling off the side of his bed. He hit the floor with a muffled thump and a whimper as Sirius cackled with triumphant glee.
“That’s enough, Sirius,” Remus scolded, shaking his head.
Sirius turned to him and pouted. “But, Moony, it’s so much fun to scare them like that.”
“And you do it more than enough,” the werewolf insisted. “Now, don’t you three have work to do?”
Sirius’ shoulders fell in defeat. “Bugger,” he complained.
Peter’s head appeared over the edge of his bed and he peered at them pleadingly. “He’s lying, right?” he asked tentatively. “You two didn’t really do anything in my bed, did you?”
“I’m hungry,” James suddenly proclaimed. “I vote we make a quick run down to the kitchens for some sustenance.”
“And I agree,” Sirius said, aiming a mighty kick at his book-covered bed.
“You didn’t, right?” Peter asked again, voice squeaking slightly.
“Don’t you have work to do?” Remus said pointedly.
Sirius waved his hand flippantly. “McGonagall is not going to turn us into hedgehogs,” he stated surely. “Besides, we’ve been at it for hours, Moony. Don’t we deserve a break?”
Remus gawked. “It has not been hours. You’ve been in here for thirty minutes and half of that time has been spent arguing.”
“Sirius, did you or did you not do something with Remus on my bed?” Peter asked, attempting to be intimidating. The other three boys ignored him.
“Details,” Sirius said flippantly to Remus, waving his hand again. “It feels like hours and that’s what matters.”
Remus threw his head back in defeat. “Oh, go on with you, then,” he sighed, giving up. “But I am not doing any of this work for the three of you.” He provided them all with a resolute glare before turning his attention back to his book.
“Right-o,” Sirius said, giving the werewolf a mock salute and a cheeky grin. James and he bounded to the door. “Want us to get you anything?”
“Yeah, make me a sandwich,” he replied without looking up.
It was a long moment before he realised that he hadn’t heard the sounds of their feet trampling down the stairs. He glanced up to see James staring curiously at Sirius who had stopped in the doorway and was gazing at Remus oddly.
“What?” Remus asked, slightly bewildered.
Sirius’ eyebrows rose. “You want me to make you a sandwich?”
Remus’ eyes shifted from side to side. “Yes,” he answered hesitantly. “Is there something wrong with that?”
“Oh, no, not at all,” Sirius hurried to assure as he walked towards Remus’ bed. “I just wanted to be positive that was what you said before I did anything rash.”
Remus swallowed. “Rash?” he questioned, his eyes narrowing. “What are you talking about?”
Sirius didn’t answer. He simply leaned in and gently removed the book from Remus’ hands, closing and placing it on the bedside table just as easily. He then took two steps back, squared his shoulders, and pounced.
Remus’ back collided with the mattress with a groan of springs and a muffled exclamation from his own mouth. Sirius sprawled his body atop the werewolf’s and grinned down at him.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Remus demanded, struggling to breathe against the other boy’s deadweight.
“I’m making you a sandwich,” Sirius answered in delight, grinning wickedly. “A Remus Sandwich, to be exact.”
Across the room, James collapsed against the wall and howled with laughter as Remus struggled against Sirius.
Remus scowled. “It isn’t funny, Prongs!” he shouted. “Now come here and help get this mutt off me.”
“Oh, Remus,” Sirius cried out exaggeratedly, “you know just what to do and say to make my blood boil. Move those hips, you naughty beast!”
Remus fell completely still and Sirius pouted as the werewolf glared up at him. He saw James approach out of the corner of his eye and he breathed a sigh of relief.
Then, suddenly, to make matters much worse, there was the added weight of yet another teenage boy on top of him.
“Let’s make it a double, shall we?” James said cheekily.
“If you lot don’t get off me right now,” Remus growled, “I will personally turn each one of you into a hedgehog and happily donate you to the Slytherins.”
James and Sirius simply laughed and smirked down at him.
As Remus lay beneath them, glaring for all he was worth, Peter’s shockingly shrill and panicked voice cut through the room.
“What did you do on my bed?”
--------------------------------------------
A/N: -grins- I actually have a hedgehog. His name is Oliver. I’m thinking of getting a few more and naming them James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. Then they shall forever be the Marauders! And, yes, I am mad…ignore me. I hope you enjoyed!
11. Peanut butter and jelly time 13. The Fat Lady