But it don't pay to live like that....

Everything I do, say, wear, post on fb, everything I like, everything I don't know about, it all feels stupid now. I feel stupid now. Maybe I am. Its so fucking hard doing this alone.

I just looked back on old lj posts. Im extremely cheesy.

Im up still at 5am because tonight was not a good night.
I can't really believe how i've acted.
I dont feel like myself lately.

I'll probably delete this post tomorrow.

for god sakes Carah suck it up.

I think im doomed to living my life vicariously through anything I can get my hands on. Movies, Tv shows, books and my few friends that I have ( Read more... )

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If you aren't already in love with David Sedaris you probably should be.


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I go to sleep when the sun's coming up.
I wake up when it's going down.
everything creative has stopped.
I feel like my life is draining out of my ears.

but its alright because im making money, right?

tonight my mom and I saw Movin Out, a dance concert at the gallo center. I started crying during the opening number, when everything was all happy and exciting and you were supposed to be smiling.

Obviously I miss it, even more than I knew myself.

lately I feel old. Like life has already passed me by, and I've already squandered every

I've been crying about everything lately.
I listened to this song at work the other day and I had to get up and go to the bathroom and have a good cry cause the lyrics to the song made me super emotional.
it was wilco on and on.
anyway, yeah..maybe its the season. Im feeling nostalgic and weepy...its nice to know Im not the only one I guess...