Well I found out today that I'm pregnant. I don't know how I am going to tell my parents. And to top it off, I'm not even sure who the father is. I know I only dated two guys, but who is it? Zak is going to kill me and my mom will disown me and probably throw me out. What am I going to do, I have no one here. I could always go back to Ohio.....

Well today, is actually quite confusing. I know I haven't written in awhile, believe me nothing worth updating. It's just all heartache ( Read more... )

Well, I am now in Texas, single, and ready for romance. No wait, I'm ready for love. We'll see what happens. Love is a once in a lifetime, committment to yourself, eachother, and god. I can't wait to be in love, to get married, and have about 3-5 kids. More later.

Well, I want to be with Lev. That's all that matters to me now. I can't live without him. I cannot. He means everything to me. We're moving to Houston on Tuesday. I'm excited. But more importantly, I am saving money to get Levlin here. I love him so very much..........
Sorry so short. Tired.

I can hear the background music to Ghost, Unchained Melody. It's a beautiful song. My mom is finally home from the hospital; actually she came home yesterday. It felt weird not having her home... On the other hand, today was, well, boring. I'm still feeling depressed, but nobody cares enough to talk. Maybe that's my own fault. I stopped writing, ( Read more... )

Well, it's been a crazy week. I saw the doctor on Friday. She did confirm that I did in fact miscarry. I'm still upset, but not as depressed as I was. She put me on an antidepressant, and it seems to be working, even after only 3 days. I'm pleased with it. I have also started therapy, and I've been keeping a journal. So, I'm making improvement; ( Read more... )

Well, Chad and I are completely history. I don't get it, and frankly, I don't care. I had to go to the hospital on Saturday, but they really didn't find anything wrong with me then. Today, they called and told me that my x ray came back abnormal. I really thought I was pregnant, because I'm experiencing many of the symptoms. The guy in Florida is ( Read more... )

Well I have my first date with Chad tonight and I'm completely excited. He seems like such a great guy, really sweet and down to earth. We talked for 5 hours yesterday online.. He sounds really cute too and he is!!! We're going to see the Skeleton Key tonight, and also out to dinner, I think. Talked to Aaron yesterday. I am really excited about my ( Read more... )

Tomorrow is the day where I find out hopefully what is wrong with me. I need help. I need someone to be there for me, for once in my life. My depression is getting out of control, if that's what I have. I need an outlet to release my pain. I've lost everything and everyone important to me....

What is happening with my life? I mean seriously, I'm heading downward on the spiral and honestly, I don't know if I'll be able to pick myself up, including the pieces. Nobody knows how much I'm actually going through. Because I don't tell anyone. What's the point?? Nobody cares..... I need help, otherwise, I don't know.................