Man last night is a blur. Got my stuff ready for PT, packed my car, and *B* called to make sure I was coming over to stay the night. I stopped by a friend from work house cuz his wife made dinner and asked me to stop in. It is on the way to *B*s house anyway. So I stop there, had a horrible headache and felt dizzy. Went to my car to get some meds ( Read more... )

Like a beacon in the night, it spoke. Directly to me as if it were only meant for my ears. How do you know you are still in love with someone? When you carry them with you everywhere you go, when you pray for them more than you pray for yourself, and when their smile can make your world better.

Funny, before I heard these words, I spoke them. I ( Read more... )

I had Thanksgiving with Blake. We were supposed to go to Paulettes but instead we stayed in. It was nice. I made dinner; chicken, rice, green beans, potatoes, and corn. It was good even though it was not a traditional dinner. The company was perfect. I could not have asked for better company.

Ohhh a 4day weekend YAY finally... but no Thanksgiving plans for me. Blake and I are talking about eating together but nothing special. I don't know yet. It was a long day today. I keep having these horrible nightmares of Luis. I guess the therapy is making it worse. I thought staying with *B* would make it better but it is getting worse. I almost ( Read more... )

Ugh you know the bad thing about being friends with your ex? They are still around, and they still have the power to hurt you. Deeply ( Read more... )

Sat night - I really want to stay home. I read something that really ruined my mood. And I was in a terrific mood. It was about relationships and letting go. Seeing how I can't seem to let go of my last relationship I suppose it spoke directly to me. *sigh ( Read more... )

ohh and I told him that I gave my # to a guy at the club and he sighed. Like I am a pimp or something LOL. Some unknown # called and I didnt take it. He asked why and I told him that I gave my # to some dude but I regreted doing so. I find it funny that when he doesn't want to take a call it is ok, but I do not take a call he questions me. If I ( Read more... )

I was doing so well... talking to new people, doing things on my own, making my for me when he walks back in for 5 minutes... I am a mess. He has been out of town for two weeks - out of my sights - maybe not out of mind but still.... not easily available to me. He came over, brought me some stuff from the Jamaican market (patties, crackers and ( Read more... )

I almost forgot, I had a long talk with Ryan, a net buddy stationed in Iraq. He is a senior NCO and has a lot of very good advice for me. He also will be the first to call me out on sh*t.  Which I like, because *B* does that too.  But since *B* is never around for me, except on the phone - when he has time for me, I need that bluntness. I enjoy it ( Read more... )

I'm talking to my friend Brandon, who works at Dell in Austin and he is telling me how the topic at work was gay marriage. Now I would think that gay marriage is probably a contraversial topic especially at work. He asked me my thoughts on the topic and well I can honestly say I don't have a real view.  I mean it sounds a bit naive but I personally ( Read more... )