I don't care if I destroy it with fire, nothing's more worth my time. I won't stop until the very core of it feels nothing, is far less than anything I ever believed in. My heart will be bereft of emotion, nothing will ever move me again. I will suffocate any hope of ever reaching the surface again. I will strip myself of anything good and worthy, ( Read more... )

He looked at me and asked "Why do you hold back so much? Why are you so shy?," and I just stood there stupefied. Just throw me on the bed, I wanted; just kill me with goodbye. I know it and I feel it's coming, so let's just fuck until we can't move anymore and in the morning I'll leave and we'll just keep pretending. I love the way you look at ( Read more... )

Drowning. It feels like drowning. The choking, the constant fear that my breath is just going to stop. Trembling, my limbs begin trembling and suddenly I'm sweating and my mind is racing. Back and forth the thoughts come in and out of my brain and I don't know why. I stare at the wall hoping it will just pass, that I can find a center in myself and ( Read more... )

You think I don't think about you. But I don't wish on shooting stars, 11:11, or when I blow out candles anymore; those are foolish things. I don't draw your name on notebooks anymore or even write silly love poems of your memory. I don't cry when I watch romantic movies or curse your name when my friends reminisce. I don't carve our names into ( Read more... )

I was perfectly content with sleeping on the couch last night, but I awoke and found myself being carried. He swings open his bedroom door and tosses me onto his bed. Paralyzed, I look at him and he guides me into that nook in his body where I so perfectly fit. We kiss and we hold each other like we might have cared. "We can't fuck anymore," he ( Read more... )

My heart is fickle ( Read more... )

It was raining really hard that night. We were just sitting in his car, the staccato of rain a constant rhythm on the windshield. The blue light of a streetlight was casting off our faces. He looks at me with that sly smile as I'm staring at him, "Your face is angelic" he says without missing a beat. Shyly, I smiled back wanting so badly to bury ( Read more... )

"I like bad weather," I said to him while I dressed myself. We stared out the window, neither of us really sure of ourselves in the morning light. But he had that kind of smile that made me shy. This isn't enough, I think to myself as he drives me home. Inside his head I'm just a little rain, inside mine he is hurricane.

I apologize for my stupid, childish heart.

But I still miss you, though I don't want to.

"I'm...sorry. I taste like the ocean."
-"I don't care." He wasn't lying. I think. He shoved my back up against my car. I guess I knew nothing about him. I wanted to be stronger, to not give in to this stranger before I could tell if this night was real or if  he only wanted to see me without clothes on. I don't know if it was me or the alcohol, but ( Read more... )