For whatever reason, I was intrigued to look at someone's profile that I had previously been involved with. He had this stupid application on his profile (which I know I also have but at the moment it seems stupid to me) and it says things like, "#[whatever number] Most prefer to date" "#[W/e] best catch!", "#[W/e] Most attractive!" and it makes me ( Read more... )

I'm so bored with my life ( Read more... )

Thoughts of you swim through my mind, they fly like blackbirds, float like clouds. I've watched from a distance, for I can only come so close before you get depressed again, before your love for me overflows. I will hold my tongue so that you can be happy with her, and I'll dutifully hold you up when you want me to. I wish I could say sorry for our ( Read more... )

I may be paranoid, though I'm hardly wrong about these things, but it seems people I thought were my friends are really actually superficial, and well, lame. Glad I'm leaving here, meaning Umass, because it changes people. Gross. Friendship means nothing here if there isn't a beer in your hand ( Read more... )

It's weird. Apparently that's the only word I can find for it at the moment. There isn't a day that goes by that I haven't thought about him in some way or missed his touch, his heart, his support. There's so much I wish I could say, but I know I'll keep my mouth shut. All of sudden all these feelings have come rushing back to me. Because whenever ( Read more... )

I realize I use this journal as a means of expressing my feelings artistically, but tonight I thought I'd give a real update on what I am up to lately. Mostly because its 3am and I'm kept up by my thoughts.

( We'll fly so far away, We'll be lost before the dawn )

The days passed and I accidentally forgot how in love with your voice I was, and just how much it hurt me. The phone call was so surreal: "I am just calling to tell you that I'm sorry that I ended the things the way I did. I just feel like it was best for you." He's right. I should make sure everyone makes my decisions for me because we know that I ( Read more... )

Days, weeks, months, a year ( Read more... )

I want a man who's not afraid to take advantage of me when we're alone and show he loves me in public. Who will love me then leave me then come back around again wanting more of me. He needs to need me but not need me. He has to wear his heart on his sleeve but hide all his emotions until I force them out. I want a man who'll yell at me but then ( Read more... )

The last thing he said to me was, "I'm sorry about tonight, but I still can't wait to see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Christina ( Read more... )