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[hellblazin_lady]

This is still true to this day.

I'm getting better, though. LOTS better. Even if the old demons DO rear their ugly heads from time to time and for no reason at all.

Comments

[lulong]

It just takes one step at a time.

You'll get there, and we'll be here with you.

;-)

*hugs*

[hellblazin_lady]

As I said elsewhere... :)

I'm okay. Honest. Just sometimes, without warning or cause, the old insecurities come back to haunt me. I've improved a hell of a lot since I posted this, but it's been an uphill battle. Not easy, by any stretch of the imagination. Having someone I cared about, whose opinion mattered to me, say those things... It was soul crushing. And still is, really, but not as badly as it was. It hurts like hell that someone thinks that way of me - that I'm worthless as a friend and human being. And sometimes I can't help but wonder why on earth anyone would want to even give me the time of day, let alone openly call me their friend.

Eh. Enough navel gazing for me for tonight. It's waaaaaaaaay past my bedtime and I need SOME sleep toni-- errr... today. Thank you for the kind words, though. :)

~Bev

[luricanson]

Bugger them. No mere demon can beat a pirate. First law of piracy or something like that.

[hellblazin_lady]

Heh. See my reply above.

I *am* okay, Den. I promise.

As for those little demons... I have a big-ass sword now. I dare them to come back!

YARRRRRR!!!

;)

[hellblazin_lady]

For what it's worth, I've never claimed that I was *right*. And, no, I was NOT talking about you, Murnk. There were things said to me by someone that DID hurt pretty badly, and those were things you never got to read. Perhaps I handled it wrong. I now almost wish I hadn't deleted my old journal, then I could tell you verbatim what was said.

Anyway... The point of this post wasn't to point fingers or lay blame. Yes, we do need to talk sometime. Because I don't think you realize just how much I *do* blame myself.

~Bev

[hellblazin_lady]

Heh! No, I'm the old one. Anyway, I just wanted to make sure you knew that I didn't think you'd said any of those things. Lord knows, weirder miscommunications have happened. *grin*

Honestly, the baggage I had wasn't with you, hon. Yes, I am (and have been) moving forward and working on improving *me*. I'll e-mail you in a bit, Murnk. Just need to finish up some work here first and send it off.

~Bev

[ilysanth]

And a year and a half later and I still love you like crazy, missy. Sorry I had to cut our last phone call short! Hopefully we'll get a nice long one in on your next drive home. ;)

[hellblazin_lady]

~huggles til you squeak!~

Going up on the 27th. Not sure what time yet, but you'll be at work. :\