Dabbling in poetry

[hellsjester]

I've been a little stressed out lately, so for a change of pace, I thought I'd take a stab at writing a sonnet, no pun intended...

O My Enemy

Comments

[ealasaidbheag]

That's a beautiful sonnet, but it's too short! They have three quatrains and a couplet, so you need one more quatrain to make it a traditional sonnet. But it's beautiful how it is, sometimes trying to make a poem fit a certain form sacrificies some of its meaning... Anyway... Can't wait to see you on Saturday! ::squeeze::

[hellsjester]

There. Now its a proper sonnet. For those readers wondering, the original post left out this quatrain:

No gentle talk or parley he employed,
In his time battle was the answer best.
But now the way of swords has been destroyed,
Society his strength has put to rest.

Thanks for enlightening me, because I had more material and no place to put it.

I think you are right about making a poem fit a certain form, but on the other hand, I think it may encourage a bit more creativity. Forcing a poem to fit within a defined form also seems to add a certain vagueness to its meaning, allowing it have relevance to a wider range of people.

[ealasaidbheag]

Yay, now it's a perfect sonnet :-)

[dalisair]

see you this weekend!

[taradammit]

OOF! Excellent, sir! Vivid, evocative imagery and such a compelling sentiment...

(I shall make no editorial criticism unless you actually want it. *wink*)

[hellsjester]

I do want feedback, but please email me at hellsjester@yahoo.com. I can't have you pointing out my flaws in a public forum, now can I?

[hellsjester]

Yeah, that last line has been bothering me, too. I've changed it now, to scan better. Is scansion the technical term? I dropped out of my Shakespeare class before I could ask...

Curious Readers, the original line was:

Lift my voice and paint my face with your life.

And now it is:

Lift up my voice and paint my face with life.

[taradammit]

'Scansion' is the term I remember and have heard used by Shakespeare experts, so...

I really do love the wallop this sonnet packs! *grin* (Which reminds me, I need to send the link to DanWill; I was telling him he needed to read it 'cause you'd done such a good job!)

[lindyhop18]

eric! call me please! 530-304-4748. please call me before you head out to faire! I need to know where to set up camp! if i don't answer just leave a message letting me know. thanks!