amy is right. my life would be a whole lot simpler if i just stopped dressing like a pirate wench all the time.

so maciej and i are driving around as usual, listening to morrisey and doing a million pointless errands, when suddenly my left kidney speaks to me. HEY, it says, I HURT. and i'm like, whatever, you do that a lot. and for a while there is silence. and then it speaks again. NO REALLY, it says, PULL OVER THE CAR. and i go OK, just let me drive maciej ( Read more... )

some days at work we're just sentencing the same crimes over, and over, and over. 60 DUI forms here, 120 Simple Assault reports there. last week we had a Felony Drugs day and a day that was nothing but Inchoate Murders ( Read more... )

so i went back to ithaca, the mecca of my childhood, to attend a series of graduations and try to determine, once and for all, how my life would have been different had i never left the holy land. it was a true voyage of self discovery ( Read more... )

one day the Voice of Divine Inspiration spoke to the prophets Maciej and Anna, saying: "bake a cake." and they said "what a good idea! but we have no eggs." and the Voice spoke again, saying "Tariq will provide ( Read more... )

"I have three phobias which, could I mute them, would make my life as slick as a sonnet, but as dull as ditch water: I hate to go to bed, I hate to get up, and I hate to be alone ( Read more... )

maciej and tariq just called me from the top of mount washington. they put a full tank of gas in the nissan pickup truck and decided to drive to pittsburgh. on friday we're scheming to drive to d.c. and see a movie about the clash. if this daring adventuring keeps up, we will achieve our goal of a road trip to Memphis in no time flat ( Read more... )

today i acquired a james dean tshirt and some windup teeth

then maciej and tariq and i drove out to the gamelands to have a straight-edge drinking party and ride around in the back of the pickup truck at speeds in excess of fifty miles an hour listening to iggy pop

now we are playing with guns


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some things that are bothering me today ( Read more... )

back in january i spent one very long morning trying to catch the eye of a tall skinny boy in an airport. and subsequently on an airplane. it was a tricky thing. he didn't even look up from his book for 4,298 miles ( Read more... )