haven't written much lately because my brain is fried and i have been trying my best to get into loads of trouble. life is too boring when it is NORMAL and ROUTINE. i think that i enjoy putting the puzzle pieces together, see the pretty picture and then fuck it all up so i can start over ( Read more... )

the sun was in clouds, the sun looked out ( Read more... )

down, fell by the wayside ( Read more... )

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very emotional day but i feel super strong. was able to share with her family these emotions that sometimes make me feel all alone when dealing with this. i found out i wasn't alone in my slow grief process, that some of them were just now dealing with it as well. feels good to know that i am not a freak for not "getting over it" and "moving on", ( Read more... )

here we go. i'm going to be okay, right?

i received an F on an exam. this is my first F ever, in my entire life. i suck. i am a loser. this will never happen again. am thinking of asking my teacher if he will turn that F into an A for completed "sexual favors ( Read more... )

so here i go again..knot in the pit of my stomach, heart racing, mind reeling as i steel myself for the rescheduled sentencing. we will leave before daybreak and drive the three hours north to sit in that courtroom to hear how many years equal her murder. the real answer is that no amount of time is going to bring me "closure". what a stupid word. ( Read more... )

prehistoric man was able to learn ALL of the knowledge available at that time. this fascinates me because if i was bombarded with information from the time i was born until the day i die i would have only acquired a fraction of the knowledge available. this boggles my mind ( Read more... )

there are many, many strange mexican old wife's tales but this one tops them all. my friend r told me that you are supposed to soak your dirty undies in water and somehow get the man you want to drink it and he is supposed to be yours forever ( Read more... )