Good Girl (1/3)

[her_pseudonym]

Gillian Foster tested Cal’s grip on her wrists. Struggling beneath him on the couch, she tried to get away for only a moment before giving up. Cal was strong. He dragged her hands above her head and pushed them into the cushions, holding her down. The heavy weight of his body on hers left Gillian unable to do anything except focus on the soft brush of his lips against her ear.

“Going somewhere, love?”

God. That accent. Gillian swallowed, resisting the urge to push her hips into his. She liked this game too much to let him see how much she wanted him inside her. “No.”

“That’s the truth,” Cal murmured. He moved her wrists so he could hold them both in one hand, then dropped his other hand to yank up her tank top, exposing her bare breasts. “You’re mine. Aren’t you?”

“Yes.” Gillian stared into his eyes, fighting back a smile. No matter how badly she wanted to stay in character, it was hard not to show her happiness at the declaration. Two weeks after finally becoming lovers, Gillian was very much Cal’s. Heart and soul. “I’m yours.”

Cal had no problem keeping a straight face. His eyes burned with intensity, but Gillian could see the love in them. She also saw deep arousal. Cal loved taking control just as much as she enjoyed surrendering it. A happy coincidence that meant she was now having the hottest sex of her life. With her best friend.

It really didn’t get any better than that.

“Spread your legs.” Cal palmed her breast and tilted his head, clearly reading her reaction to his words. “You like that, don’t you? Being told what to do?”

Gillian exhaled. “Yes.” She opened her legs, groaning when he forced his hips between her thighs. The hard length of his cock pressed into the crotch of her thin pajama pants and she bit her lip in anticipation. She wished he would take his sweat pants off so she could really feel him, but didn’t dare ask. If she tried to set the pace, he would only slow things down.

“Good girl,” Cal breathed into her ear. His fingers closed around her erect nipple, pinching lightly. “Now tell me what you want.”

Her face flushed and he grinned. Gillian knew he enjoyed the mild embarrassment she felt when she talked dirty to him, and the truth was, so did she. She liked the way it made her feel to say naughty things despite her instinctive discomfort using the crude words Cal liked best.

“I want you to fuck me,” Gillian said softly. She squirmed beneath him again, whimpering when he ground his hips into her. “Please.”

“So shy.” Cal kissed her throat. “But I can smell how much you love this, Gill.”

Gillian’s face burned. Hell, her whole body was on fire. And Cal was right-she was soaking wet. “I need you.”

“Tell me.” Cal smirked and twisted her nipple between his fingers until she hissed in pleasure. “Tell me what you need from me.”

Nostrils flaring, Gillian closed her eyes. “I need to be fucked.”

“I want to hear more than that, love. Much more.” Cal flexed the hand that still held her wrists, keeping her at his mercy. “Say it.”

Gillian swallowed. She would say anything if it meant he’d touch her. When he drew out their foreplay like this, she was willing to shed all her inhibitions if only it meant he would make her come. She stared into his eyes and said, “I need your cock inside me.”

“Dirty little tart,” Cal murmured. There was something about the way he looked at her when he spoke. Like his entire world was shrunk down to the two of them, like he couldn’t see anything else but her. To hear him say things that pushed all her secret buttons, with such longing in his eyes, only made her love him more. “So why do you keep struggling?”

Because it turned both of them on. “I don’t know.”

“I don’t know, either.” Cal’s voice became a growl. “Because you’re not going anywhere until you come all over my cock.”

Unable to hold back any longer, Gillian moaned loudly. Cal took his hand off her breast and pressed it over her mouth, muffling the sound. Her blood surged.

“Quiet,” Cal said, then thrust his hips into her, forcing out another moan. “You want your neighbors to hear how much you like being held down and taken like a whore?”

Gillian inhaled sharply. This wasn’t the first time they had played like this, but never had it gone so far. Cal had her completely immobilized, one hand on her wrists, the other covering her mouth. She rocked her hips against his, too turned on to hold back any longer. If she didn’t feel him inside her soon, she was going to go crazy. She couldn’t remember ever being so desperate to get fucked.

Cal lowered his head to her chest, kissing the tip of her breast. Gillian groaned into his palm as he sucked her nipple roughly, then whimpered when he took it between his teeth. When she bucked her hips again, Cal bit down hard enough to make her cry out in pleasure-pain. Gillian wrenched her head to the side, ready to force herself to be still if that’s what Cal wanted. Anything to make him stop teasing and just take her already.

And that’s when she saw Emily. Cal’s daughter stood in the doorway of her living room, jaw slack and eyes wide. Gillian panicked at the naked fear on Emily’s face, the complete shock, and began to struggle beneath Cal for real. Too engrossed in what he was doing to notice Emily watching, Cal reacted by pressing down harder on her wrists and curling his fingers over her mouth. Asserting his dominance.

Emily took a tentative step into the room then stopped. “Dad!”

Cal released Gillian immediately, pulling his hands away from her wrists and mouth and hastily tugging her top back down over her breasts. His eyes were wild and unfocused when he met Gillian’s gaze for an instant before looking at Emily. Gillian sat up as Cal grabbed a pillow to put over his lap.

“Em.” Gillian had never seen Cal so flustered. His mouth hung open and he gripped the back of his neck like he was trying to hold himself together.  “What are you doing here, sweetheart?”

Gillian’s heart pounded. Not only at the sudden shift in mood, but also at the look of horror on Emily’s face. Disgust and anger poured off Emily in waves, and Gillian watched her emotions hit Cal, widening his eyes.

“What the fuck were you doing to Gill?” Emily choked out the words like she was trying not to be sick on them.

Gillian flinched. She had never heard Emily curse before. Her eyes moved over Emily’s body, taking in her form-fitting shirt, the tear at the neck, her shaking hands. Gillian’s mind raced with possible scenarios that would bring Emily to her apartment this late at night. None of them good.  “Emily, sweetheart, it’s all right-“

Cal cut her off. “Oi! I’m sorry you had to see that, love, but-“

“You’re sorry I had to see that?” Emily looked from Cal to Gillian, expressing contempt for her father, concern for Gillian. “Gill, are you okay?”

Cal’s mouth dropped open. “Now wait a bloody minute-“

Gillian interrupted Cal, knowing Emily had to hear this from her. “I’m fine, honey. How about you? Are you okay?”

Cal’s anger seemed to deflate at Gillian’s words. He looked Emily up and down, then stood and took a step toward her. “Is something wrong, Em? What’s happened?”

Emily shook her head and backed away from Cal. “If I’d wanted to talk to you, I would’ve gone to your house.”

“Right, then.” Gillian saw the hurt flash across Cal’s face and felt his pain like a punch in her gut. His relationship with Emily was the most important thing in the world to him, and she knew it destroyed him when Emily pulled away. “So you’re here to talk to Gill?”

“Nothing happened. I’m fine.” Emily was a decent liar, but Gillian knew Cal wasn’t fooled. Neither was she. “Just forget it.”

Gillian caught Cal’s eye, reading his unspoken fear. Something had happened to Emily tonight. Something serious enough to compel her to use the key Gillian had nearly forgotten she’d given her, the one Emily had never used before. Gillian rose from the couch and crossed the room to Emily’s side.

“Let me make up the guest room for you, okay?” Gillian touched Emily’s arm, relieved when she didn’t pull away. “And you can talk if you want. Or not. It’s up to you.”

Emily glanced over Gillian’s shoulder at Cal, giving him a look that Gillian identified as disillusionment. Gillian cringed, knowing that Cal saw everything she did and more. “Fine,” Emily said. “But only if he goes away.”

Gillian turned and gave Cal an apologetic nod. Cal rubbed a hand over his hair. “If that’s what you want, love.” His face was awash with worry, guilt, and shame. It was clear he had been made the villian in a situation where none existed.

More than anything, Gillian wanted to kiss away Cal’s pain. Figuring it would be good for Emily to see affection between them, Gillian walked to Cal and gave him a brief hug. “Why don’t you wait for me in the bedroom?”

“Right.” Cal squeezed Gillian tightly, then released her with a quick kiss on the lips. “I’ll see you in a bit.” He left the room with his head down.

Gillian watched him go, then turned to Emily and smiled. “Okay. Ready?”

Emily put her own head down and followed Gillian into the guest room. She shut the door behind them, then helped Gillian make up the bed without saying a word. Gillian let her stew, taking the opportunity to observe Emily’s body language. She was upset, clearly. Afraid. Embarrassed. And very, very sad.

When Gillian finished arranging the comforter over fresh sheets, Emily finally spoke. “You’re really okay?”

Gillian knew what she was asking. She made eye contact so Emily would believe what she said next. “I know that what you saw must have looked…intense. But he wasn’t hurting me. I promise.”

Clearly skeptical, Emily said, “That looked more than intense.”

“It was completely consensual.” Gillian held Emily’s gaze. She could see Emily felt as uncomfortable talking about this as she did, but she needed to be crystal clear. “Your father would never do anything I didn’t want.”

“So you guys are together then?” Emily looked down at the comforter, smoothing it with her hand. “Or what?”

“We were going to tell you when we saw you on Sunday. It’s still very new.” Gillian ducked her head, trying to look into Emily’s eyes. “He makes me very happy, sweetheart. What you saw…I know that’s hard to understand. But please know that I love him, and he loves me.”

Emily wrinkled her nose. “That’s what love looks like?” She sat on the bed and dropped her head into her hands. “Count me out.”

There was more to Emily’s feelings about catching them together than just disgust at seeing her father being sexual, or even misinterpreting Cal’s actions. She could hear it in Emily’s voice. Gillian sat on the bed and wrapped her arm around Emily’s slim waist.

“What happened tonight, Em?”

Emily sniffled. “It’s stupid.”

“I doubt that.” Gillian tucked a lock of Emily’s hair behind her ear. “Whatever it is, it has you shaken up. And seeing your father and me didn’t help.”

Emily swallowed and leaned into Gillian’s embrace. “I had a bad date.”

Gillian’s stomach turned over. A bad date. She had one of those in high school, too, and hoped that Emily’s hadn’t been as unpleasant as her own. “How bad, honey?”

“Not as bad as it could have been,” Emily said quietly. She met Gillian’s eyes then glanced away, face coloring. “But not good. My Mom doesn’t know I went out with him. She thinks I’m at my friend Stacy’s house. But Stacy won’t be home from her own date for another couple hours.”

“So you came here.”

Emily nodded. “I didn’t know Dad would be here, or I would’ve told Derek to drop me off somewhere else.”

“No, I’m glad you came.” Gillian’s mouth had gone dry and she swallowed, trying not to choke on fear and memories. If that boy had hurt Emily, he wasn’t going to have to worry about Cal. Gillian would hunt him down herself. “Derek wanted to have sex?”

Emily covered her eyes with her hand. “I really liked him, but I just wasn’t ready. And I told him that, but he…” She shook her head, then brought her knees up to her chest. “He didn’t care.”

Gillian heard the disbelief in her voice and instinctively understood what Emily was feeling. How could a boy you liked so much care so little about your feelings? “Did he hurt you, Emily?”

Gillian thought she might cry when Emily shook her head no. “We wrestled around a little bit, and he touched my…” She gestured to her chest, clearly humiliated. “But then he ripped my shirt and I think he realized what he was doing, because he stopped. Called me a bitch and a cock tease and told me he was taking me home.”

“Okay.” Gillian released a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “You’re right, not as bad as it could have been. But not good at all.”

Emily buried her face in her knees. “I’m so embarrassed.”

“There’s no reason to be,” Gillian said quietly. She moved her hand to Emily’s back, rubbing gentle circles. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I trusted him. I lied to my Mom so I could go out with him. And I let him drive me to the lake and kiss me.” Emily raised her face and looked Gillian in the eyes. “Of course he thought I was going to have sex with him. Right?”

Gillian shook her head. “He had no right to think you were going to do anything until he got your consent. You can’t blame yourself for his behavior, Em. I won’t let you.”

“I just feel stupid.”

“I know,” Gillian said meaningfully. “But you’re not. Anyone can have a bad date.”

Emily glanced up sharply then tilted her head, staring at Gillian. Reading her. For a moment Gillian could see Cal in his daughter, right down to the look in Emily’s eyes when she realized what she was seeing on Gillian’s face.

“I was just a little older than you.” Gillian cleared her throat. When was the last time she had talked about this? Or really even thought hard about it? “It went a bit further than yours. But not as bad as it could have been.”

Emily’s chin trembled. “Why are guys like that?”

“Not all guys are.” Gillian pulled Emily against her body, holding her close. “I’m sorry Derek was.”

“Me too.” Emily’s voice rang with sorrow. Clearly this boy had been special to her, or at least she had thought he might be. “And I’m sorry I ruined your night.”

“You didn’t ruin anything, sweetheart.” Gillian kissed the crown of Emily’s head. “I gave you that key so you would use it if you needed it. I’m flattered that you trust me enough to come to me when you’re hurting.”

“I knocked, but I guess you didn’t hear me. If I’d known that you were with Dad…”

“How could you have known?” They probably should have told her sooner. Gillian had been nervously anticipating Emily’s reaction to the news, even though she had assumed it would be positive. This wasn’t how she had envisioned Emily finding out. “It was a little awkward, definitely, but I think we’ll all get over it.”

Emily made a soft noise, then pulled away to look into Gillian’s eyes. “So what does this mean?”

“Me being with your Dad?” Emily nodded and Gillian paused, unsure what to say. “I can’t speak for him, but I hope it means we’ll be together for a long time. It definitely means you’re going to be seeing even more of me.” She smiled, aware of just how vulnerable she was allowing herself to be with Emily. Saying things to Cal’s daughter that had so far gone unspoken between the two of them. “I love him very much.”

“Are you going to tell him what we talked about?” Emily showed a twinge of fear and Gillian guessed what was really bothering her.

“I won’t tell him anything you don’t want me to,” Gillian said. “If I ever thought you were in danger, I would have to tell your Dad. But if you come to me because you need someone to talk to, it stays between us. That won’t change just because my relationship with your father has.”

“Good.” Emily settled back against the headboard, crossing her legs, and Gillian faced her and mirrored the pose. “I’m happy you’re together. Very happy, actually. I just…don’t want to lose my friend.”

“You won’t.” Gillian poked Emily’s foot with her own. “On that note, I have ice cream. And chocolate cake. If you think the situation calls for it.”

Emily laughed and got up on her knees, leaning over Gillian’s lap to give her a tight hug. Gillian blinked in surprise, then returned Emily’s embrace. Though Gillian would never try to be her mother, Emily was the closest thing she had to a child. One who was still in her life, anyway. Even if Gillian never had the chance to have her own baby, she knew she was important to Emily. And maybe that could be enough.

“I’m not really hungry,” Emily said as she pulled away. “And not because I’m depressed and planning on starving myself, or anything like that. Derek just took me out for a big dinner a couple hours ago.”

“I hope you ordered something expensive.” Gillian smiled in relief when the comment drew a grin from Emily.

“It wasn’t cheap.” Emily’s face fell when she looked down at her torn shirt. Fingering the collar, she said, “Not sure it makes up for what he did to my favorite shirt, though.”

Gillian gave her a look of sympathy, then leaned close to inspect the tear. “I can’t make any promises, but I could try to repair this. I doubt it’ll look brand-new, but I think it’ll be wearable.” At Emily’s brief look of unease, Gillian said, “Don’t let him ruin your favorite shirt for you. That’s giving him way too much power.”

Emily’s mouth twitched into a tentative smile. “You really think you could fix it?”

“I’ll do my best.” Gillian watched some of the fire return to Emily’s eyes. “How about I lend you something to sleep in and I’ll take a look at your shirt tomorrow morning?”

“Thanks,” Emily said, looking at Gillian in a way that tugged at all her maternal instincts. “My Mom can’t sew. That’s pretty cool you can.”

“A skill I picked up in college. It comes in handy. I can teach you, if you’d like.”

Emily nodded. “I would.”

“Great.” Warmth bloomed in Gillian’s stomach despite herself. Soon she would have to worry about what to say to Cal, but for now she was enjoying this new feeling of closeness with Emily. Gillian stood and walked to the door. “I’ll bring you something to change into. Go ahead and use the shower if you want. There are fresh towels in the bathroom.”

“Thank you, Gill. Really.”

“You’re welcome.” Gillian put her hand on the door, then turned back to Emily. “Your Dad-“

“You can tell him what happened.” Though Emily was clearly afraid, she also wore a look of resolve. “He’s going to ask, and he’ll see if you’re lying. And I know he’s worried about me.”

“He loves you,” Gillian said. “I don’t need to give him all the details, but you’re right, he’s going to want to know that you’re okay.”

“I’m okay.” Emily twisted her hair around her fingers, looking away. “But I’m not sure I want to talk to him tonight. All right?”

Gillian nodded. “I get it. I’ll make sure he knows you’re fine.”

“Cool.” Emily pulled at her shirt, wrinkling her nose. “I think I will take a shower. Then probably just go to bed.”

“I’ll leave a T-shirt and pajama pants outside your door, okay? They’ll be kind of big, but they should work.”

At Emily’s nod, Gillian shut the guest room door and exhaled. Now the hard part. She knew Cal was going crazy in the bedroom, that it had probably taken everything he had not to burst in on them and interrogate Emily until he knew she was all right. He was going to want to talk to his daughter and Gillian would have to explain that it wasn’t a good time. And that wasn’t going to go over well.

Gillian opened her bedroom door to find Cal stalking back and forth at the foot of the bed, muttering to himself. He looked up when Gillian entered, then walked right into her personal space.

“What happened?” Cal studied Gillian’s face as he asked the question, clearly waiting to read the answer. “Did some boy get rough with her?” Gillian wasn’t even aware that she had reacted when Cal took a step back and brought his hand to his stomach. “Who is he? I’ll bloody kill him.”

Gillian touched his arm. “She’s fine, Cal. A boy did get a little rough with her tonight, but nothing happened. Her shirt ripped. He called her some names and drove her home. That’s as far as it went.”

“Zoe let her go out with this kid?” Cal tightened his fists at his sides, obviously angry. “Doesn’t she even bother to screen them?”

“Zoe didn’t know.” When Cal raised his eyebrows, Gillian said, “That’s why Emily’s here. She needed somewhere to go, but she didn’t want to get in trouble for sneaking around to go out with this kid. And I think she’s been through enough tonight without enduring a lecture.”

Cal nodded, his anger melting into sadness. “I’ll bloody kill him,” he said again.

“He’s on my list, too.” Gillian walked to her dresser and pulled out a T-shirt and the smallest pair of pajama pants she owned. “Believe me.”

“Think I should go talk to her?” Cal sounded almost hopeful. “Make sure she’s okay?”

Steeling herself, Gillian shook her head and turned around. “No, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Give her some time to settle down.”

“But I need to know that she’s all right. That we’re all right.” Cal leaned forward, desperation in his eyes. “I’ve never seen her look at me like that before, Gill. Like I’m a bad guy. I can’t stand it.”

Gillian stepped closer to him and touched his chest, knowing her next words would hurt. “This isn’t a moment when she wants her father, Cal. Especially after what she saw us doing.”

Cal’s jaw tightened. “What she saw me doing, you mean.”

“Us. That was both of us,” Gillian said. “I was very clear with her about that.”

“But she’s angry with me.” It was a statement, not a question. Cal watched Gillian’s face for his answer. “Disgusted.”

“She was shaken up. She walked in on something that triggered a lot of emotions, given the night she just had. It struck a chord.”

“I can’t believe she thought I was actually trying to force you.” Cal shook his head, looking disgusted himself. “What kind of man does she think I am?”

“At that moment she was only thinking about one kind of man, and I’m sure you and I seemed pretty…convincing.” Gillian rubbed her hand over his chest. “Think about how that must have looked to her.”

“But I’m her father.” Cal’s eyes took on a wounded, lost look, something Gillian had never seen from him before. “She knows me better than to think-”

“She does, Cal.” Gillian raised her hand to his face, stroking his cheek. “But she’s a kid. What would you have thought if you’d seen that as a teenager? Would you have even realized that was something people did consensually?”

Cal flushed and he raised a trembling hand to smooth down his hair. “I’m ashamed she saw me like that.”

“I know. But she’ll get over it. So will we.”

Cal looked at the bedroom door again. “Is she really okay?” She could see it was killing him not to be able to go find out for himself. “Honestly?”

“Honestly, she’s embarrassed. She feels stupid.” Gillian met his concerned gaze with a small smile. “It’s embarrassing to misjudge a guy you like. And it’s hard not to second-guess your own actions when you’re trying to understand how someone you trusted turned on you like that.”

Cal’s face went blank. “You sound like you’re speaking from experience, love.”

“Well.” Gillian blinked, suddenly aware of the tension that had sprung up between them. She thought about warning Cal not to read her, but that no longer felt like an option now that their line had been erased. Especially not when he had already seen the truth. “I guess I am.”

She watched Cal’s eyes darken and braced herself. “I’ll bloody kill him,” Cal said quietly. He was angry, but Gillian sensed that much of the anger was directed inward. Her stomach dropped at the self-loathing on his face.

“It was a long time ago,” Gillian said. The last thing she wanted was for Cal to feel even worse about what Emily had interrupted, but she could see that was exactly what was happening. “It has no bearing on my life now.”

“You should have told me.”

Gillian’s face heated. They had been sleeping together two weeks. This wasn’t something she’d felt like he needed to know, no matter how their sex life had developed. “I’ve got to put these clothes out for Emily, but I’ll be right back. And we’ll talk about this.”

Cal sat on the bed. “Go.”

Continued in Part 2