I know I should continue my medication, but the thing of it is I enjoy the way my brain thinks when I'm not on it.
Odd I know since most of the time I'm not taking medication I'm looking for ways to hurt myself or sabotage my relationships, whether they be romantic or otherwise. So when I don't focus on hurting myself my brain works in weird ways ( Read more... )

This weekend was hard I wanted to take something anything to get high. I could feel it, tast it, I wanted it so bad. It wasnt going to happen I had told my mother how bad my addiction was. She had no clue, I think that was a lie but I still want to believe her.  I cant stand myself and the times when I can, I cant stand anyone else. Im supposed to ( Read more... )

n.  

1. 1. Compulsive physiological and psychological need for a habit-forming substance: a drug used in the treatment of heroin addiction.

The past four months have been filled with ups and downs, waiting to die, wanting to die, and knowing I was almost there. Some days the bad ones I still do want to die, so much anger and depression just not knowing ( Read more... )