The Enlightened Day.

[herdinator]

The shade of night creeps across the sky
  A purplish wake of sky trails the western sun
    as the breeze feathers against my skin
      Words easily come to mind
         Easy for others to understand

Yet its the zig-zagged verses
through a maze that leads
     to somewhere distant.
Where truth grows on a tree
that never can be cut down, plained or

Comments

[emmadircks]

You are great at writing poetry!

This poem definitely evokes something completely different to your poem about Surry Hills. What I love about this poem is your obvious ease with expressing your feelings. The structure of the poem makes it even more enjoyable to read. It is a nice poem and I really enjoyed reading it!

cheers
emma

[herdinator]

Hey Emma,
thanx for that, most appreciated. you have a great weekend too. See Ya next week.

[miss_caitlinxxx]

This is a beautiful poem!
you have a real knack for evoking emotion...
i love the line "as the breeze feathers against my skin"
it is so simple and gentle, the whole poem has this gentle meandering tone that really depicts the feelings of spring...and all the hope it brings.

[herdinator]

Hi,
Thanx for that. I think or I would like to think that I am learning to be patient, and just keep writing stuff down even if its crap. I think I was sitting at the cafe for quite awhile co's I went through half a packet of cigarettes and three cups of cold coffees.

[jakedowers]

Hello,
I agree with emma, this is a great poem Ian, the first stanza is great.

Its really emotive but its not obvious and thats a quality I really enjoy in good poems.

Jake

[herdinator]

Thanx for that I really appreciate your opinion. I use to remember in my younger days, parks were good for just smokin' dope in with ya mates, and now I'm slowly gettin' an understanding without the view been to hazy. Now when I get a hazy view its because I've run out of cigarettes.
Thax again.