so . is it better to be alone.. and analyze everything..blame everything on yourself.. and not bring anyone else into it? or is it better to be with someone... anaylyze everything..blame everything on yourself... have a few happy times.. but in the end bring someone into your misery, self hate, self doubt, and everything that goes along with it? ( Read more... )

boyfriend. 
XXXX.
 him.
 me. 
happiness. 
future.
 petrified.
 vulnerable. 
smiles. 
kisses. 
laughs. 
scared. 
past. 
present. 
us. 
eyes. 
lips. 
hands. 
us. 
together. 
finally. 
worth it. 
wonderful. 
frightened. 
shy. 
comfortable. 
in like. 
my heart. 
october 15, 2006.

e this present moment. to fast for a complete sentence.

i saw the black dahlia tonight. i had a good night. thank you XXXX. <3.

so im one of those people who when they are depressed, instead of looking for a pick me up, they look for something that will only bring them lower, as low as they can get, music is my downer... so the other night i was in a particularly low mood (suprise) and i googled "depressing songs"- original, i know- to my suprise i found an assortment of ( Read more... )

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell ( Read more... )

so. im sitting here, waiting for tthe morning where i can fish and keep my wandering mind occupied. There is something particular running through my mind tonight, a change from my usual sadness which has no real begining, end, or reason. i dont understand why bad people, two in particular, seem to always find some form of happiness, even if its ( Read more... )

im sad right now. i feel like an ugly piece of shit. i have a secret i cant tell anyone. it makes me feel very guilty. i want to crawl away in a hole. i want to push him away. i want to hold on to him. i want to cut. i want to tell people the truth. i lie that im the happiest ive ever been. maybe if i say it enough it will come true. too bad it ( Read more... )

its 7 in the morning. im incredibly sick and i havent gotten any sleep. no matter how much my body needs it my mind wont let me rest. sometimes i wonder to myself why i even write these things. its not like anyone reads them. i think thats what i find so comforting about them. thats its just me- out there. but then sometimes i wish someone would ( Read more... )

i just wrote a page and a half of everything. i said i wanted to send everything i was feeling out into the world. unedited. raw. i lied. i got scared. its hidden in my hard drive. and just one more useless paper in my journal. i wish i could have been brave. im sorry ( Read more... )

Dear XXXXXXXXXXX ( Read more... )