hah, i think michael might feel a little put out. but it's the thought that counts ;) i'd love to see you OUTside of the dining hall! i'll call you and you'll tell me if and when you have free time.
I agree with you on all of these points, except that sometimes it gets so complicated. For example, speaking from personal experience... You could certainly label me as being femme, but I don't dress to adhere to heterosexual privilege nor homo popular dress. I've always dressed however I want (and believe me as a kid it meant people thought I was weird...they still probably do. ;D). So how do you determine whether people are playing into these roles? I totally believe what you are saying is pertinent for queer women, it is so easy to fall into stereotypical gender roles. And as far as dominance, being on top can be good...but why be dominant or passive? Or why not both? hah... My friend Caterina is one of the few straight friends I have ever had that's completely comfortable with hanging out with queers. There should be MANY more out there!
things are complicated, always. i definitely see that you dress how you want... i thought of you (and mia, and i'm sure there are more, but you two are the ones i was thinking of) as just that, femme girls because THATS WHO YOU ARE, not cuz you're trying to keep hetero privilege. So how do you determine whether people are playing into these roles? i think it's subjective, and who am i to say? i think a lot of girls (and especially a lot of straight girls, or queer girls before they ID as queer, because it's never BEEN problematized for them) don't question how they play their femininity. so a lot of girls might say that they dress/act/are femme because that's the way they like to be, that's the "true" them. i guess how i see when someone is NOT femme just cuz in this society it's often easier is someone who honestly and truly enjoys dressing and acting (and being) femme, even AFTER challenging the idea of femme as "natural," and after openly and honestly exploring (whether in thought or action) other ways of gender display. (whew)
Whew indeed honey, I do understand what you are saying...but it is always fun to question things (and good for the brain to boot). In a society that pushes women to participate in beauty regimens that promote eating disorders- plastic surgery- and an overall obsession over outward appearance it is hard to determine if even your own outlook on how you should dress is close to healthy. On the very opposite side of this, is the stereotypical image of Lesbians, resisting those feminine attributes...etc. The only real thing we can do is try to be ourselves as much as possible, to discover who we are not by prescribed images. It truly is hard to resist though, conflicting pressures are always at work....be perfect-beautiful-thin or comfortable in your skin-dykie.. The effects of the media are huge, gender roles are always at work in all sexualities. But hey, the first step towards change and escaping from those boundaries is being aware of them.
sometimes i feel like i fit into the qc, sometimes not. i think it depends on the individual people i'm around. i definitely have been conflicted about how i fit into the community's generally bipolar view of gender roles (butch and femme often being the only visible roles... hah, not like my entry helped that, cuz they're the only ones i mentioned, which is funny cuz i don't see myself as either. ok i'm rambling). it sucks that gender is a problem in the queer cmmu, too, because gender roles (not sexual orientation) are the only reason i've ever had problems fitting into the straight community :-/
because gender roles (not sexual orientation) are the only reason i've ever had problems fitting into the straight community
seeeeeeriously. *high5*
The cultural obsession with binaries makes for those lose/lose situations that you mentioned. It's really a silly situation for the legabit community to put itself in, but at the same time I suppose it is 'necessary' because there is no other frame of reference.
G'luck with the search... lol let me know if she has a twin [cause you know the one girl in 2398479387493873 will undoubtably have a twin... really]
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Hubba hubba!
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2. fabulous current music. glad to see you're enjoying it.
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... I loved seeing you in the dining hall this weekend.
<3
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i'd love to see you OUTside of the dining hall! i'll call you and you'll tell me if and when you have free time.
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I agree with you on all of these points, except that sometimes it gets so complicated. For example, speaking from personal experience...
You could certainly label me as being femme, but I don't dress to adhere to heterosexual privilege nor homo popular dress. I've always dressed however I want (and believe me as a kid it meant people thought I was weird...they still probably do. ;D). So how do you determine whether people are playing into these roles? I totally believe what you are saying is pertinent for queer women, it is so easy to fall into stereotypical gender roles. And as far as dominance, being on top can be good...but why be dominant or passive? Or why not both? hah...
My friend Caterina is one of the few straight friends I have ever had that's completely comfortable with hanging out with queers. There should be MANY more out there!
Reply
i definitely see that you dress how you want... i thought of you (and mia, and i'm sure there are more, but you two are the ones i was thinking of) as just that, femme girls because THATS WHO YOU ARE, not cuz you're trying to keep hetero privilege.
So how do you determine whether people are playing into these roles? i think it's subjective, and who am i to say? i think a lot of girls (and especially a lot of straight girls, or queer girls before they ID as queer, because it's never BEEN problematized for them) don't question how they play their femininity. so a lot of girls might say that they dress/act/are femme because that's the way they like to be, that's the "true" them. i guess how i see when someone is NOT femme just cuz in this society it's often easier is someone who honestly and truly enjoys dressing and acting (and being) femme, even AFTER challenging the idea of femme as "natural," and after openly and honestly exploring (whether in thought or action) other ways of gender display. (whew)
Reply
The effects of the media are huge, gender roles are always at work in all sexualities. But hey, the first step towards change and escaping from those boundaries is being aware of them.
Wow...did that make sense even? ;D
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it sucks that gender is a problem in the queer cmmu, too, because gender roles (not sexual orientation) are the only reason i've ever had problems fitting into the straight community :-/
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seeeeeeriously. *high5*
The cultural obsession with binaries makes for those lose/lose situations that you mentioned. It's really a silly situation for the legabit community to put itself in, but at the same time I suppose it is 'necessary' because there is no other frame of reference.
G'luck with the search... lol let me know if she has a twin [cause you know the one girl in 2398479387493873 will undoubtably have a twin... really]
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