Taken from someone who is not me:

So, I'm working at Lockheed, right, and I see this huge BLIP appear on the radar. "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT", my supervisor is screaming. See, this blip was a full two inches in diameter, whereas no blip greater than 1 inch should even be physically possible. After some calls and investigation, we found that the ( Read more... )

Hi! How's it going?
So, I'm sitting here at Matt's house
Doing nothing, as usual

and Karen's playing guitar hero!

hooray, guitar hero.... so she's playing it

and playing it

and playing it

AND THAT INCESSANT CLICKING IS GOING TO DRIVE ME INSANE
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
*gunshot ( Read more... )

I WANT TO SMOKE.

1. I've come to realize that my last kiss... was painfully mundane ( Read more... )

Once to decided who had the greatest beard of all time Chuck Norris challenged Sean Connery in a fight to the death. The battle ended in a draw when the two decided that their beards we're equally matched. The two joined forces and destroyed New Zealand. You may know this battle as documented in the film Lord of the Rings ( Read more... )

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I'm leavin.

...on a jet plane.

California is booked, more or less, so that makes 1 event scheduled for Jan, and 2 to go.

In other news, I have two new cryptic pieces of Zen-like wisdom for your catchphrasing pleasure:

Everything old is new again.

and

Can you cry underwater?

Ok so, long story short, I was working at Sears. They fired me ( Read more... )