I'll feed you stupid lines all about cleaning up my act...

[hesgonenow]

I'm having an edgy night...I really feel like cutting and cutting bad like a long deep one....But not so bad I have to go to the hopsicle. But I just gah...I don't know whats going on with my head...I was fine earlier....Went to Taylors and left at about 645...hmm. It was okay...nothing bad happened. BUt I got home and ate and read a note from

Comments

[keepyourguns]

you dont sound stupid at all. you love him and you'll do anything to stay with him and i can understand.

your grandma drives trucks? wha?

*sigh*

[ladyhumbert]

I had hoped that you would grow past some of this angst in my absence. Losing almost everything at a shot(because you can't ever lose everything all at once)has showed me how much time I've wasted with my anger. Your scars wont ever go away. They will always be there at least a little and you'll know. I learned to make art to show my pain instead.... because the simple fact of the matter is that when people see you cut like you cut they know you can't control yourself and it kills your credibility

Re: *sigh*

[hesgonenow]

Hmm...angst huh? I saw you tried to call tonight, I was at driver's ed...Call me after 8 our time 7 yours...You sound like you've changed a lot and gotten more in touch with the world. Either that or you're just growing up and finally accepting adulthood. Nice choice of words for your description and feelings for love...Very nice description...And you're right I don't believe you. MY beliefs have been changing. I am starting to realize that anything is possible and there are so many dimensions to the world that we can't even see. It is possible for me to quit cutting, I have to remember the times when I didn't cut and the circumstances of my mood. If I remember it I can reenact it

[xasteriskx]

I hope you grow out of all this mess, soon. If it means cutting to keep yourself happy, fine, but I wish you'd stand up for yourself and not take those meds. They're SHIT! They fuck you up and make you do things you'd never ever do at any other time. Bad things. I know I've told you a hundred times before, but the more I see it happen, the angrier I get. I dont want to see another Peter go on a whim of a drug induced frenzy. Just quit that shit Amber, seriously. Ease off of it and quit. They can't force you unless you're institutionalized. I'm glad you're not. Stick up for yourself.

Thank you Katie

[hesgonenow]

thanks katie for being there when it's important...I hope all is going well for you now. I am off meds but soon to be on more cuz I feel like shit and can't concentrate and everyone knows it. They want me on Adderal and Lexapro. *sigh* oh well... I miss you lots and good luck in everything that you do.