Unconditional - Part 1b/?
anonymous
March 1 2011, 12:15:09 UTC
The first glove is pulled up his arm, and he almost melts at the warmth. It very nearly reaches the ends of his thin shirt's short sleeves, protecting the whole of his arm. And then Russia tugs at his fingers, folding the mitten-like end around them until his hand is locked in a closed fist.
“There will be no more tugging on chains,” Russia states matter-of-factly as he reaches for Canada's left arm.
It is humiliating, having his hands made as useless as a dog's paw, but he doesn't fight as the second glove is drawn up onto his left arm. They are warm, regardless of their purpose, and Canada has learned not to fight pointless battles.
“You will be a good dog now. I do not like having to keep you in here.”
“Then why do you!?” Canada wants to shout. “Why do you lock me up like an animal, treat me like a pet that won't behave?!” He knows it is futile; Russia won't listen and it would only make things harder on himself
( ... )
Re: Unconditional - Part 1b/?
anonymous
March 1 2011, 17:28:40 UTC
This is awesome anon!! I'm loving it so far!
You've got their characterizations spot on, and Canada's fear and rebellion is so wonderful and palpable. I'm loving your type of Russian crazy, as well.
Please continue! I'm really looking forward to seeing more!
Unconditional - Part 2a/?
anonymous
March 2 2011, 06:51:23 UTC
The cold was the first thing Canada noticed. The collar was the second. A thick band of sturdy leather, it rested snugly around his neck, just loose enough that he could move his head without undue pressure. There was no way to remove it, at least for him. The latch was at the back, solid metal with a small keyhole in the center. That was also where the chain was attached, hooked around the collar itself
( ... )
Oh my god, I check the Hetalia Kink Meme for the first time in ages, and find this ancient request being filled? Words cannot express the awesomeness I felt.
Your writing style and descriptions are very good, and I'm really enjoying this so far! I can't wait for the next part +____+ You are doing a wonderful job, authoranon!
Unconditional - Part 3/?
anonymous
March 3 2011, 05:14:23 UTC
Thanks go to reviewer!anons. This may end up being the first full-length fic I ever finish, so I hope it continues to be up to standard, and I appreciate all comments, though I will probably not respond unless it is necessary. Just know I love you!
Canada laid on the floor, his throat dry and his stomach growling. He had no way to know how much time had passed since he had been brought here, no way to know how long he had been screaming like a madman. All he knew was that no one had come
( ... )
In terms of tense, this fanfiction has actually really surprised me. Normally I've insisted on past tense in fanfiction, and felt upset when fanfiction had present tense, but the entire time it's worked perfectly for this story and your writing style. I basically forget its even in a tense that I dislike.
Lmao, in short this fanfiction is making me rethink my really stupid stance on tense. You're doing a great job!
Oh, and just to let you know, I am obessively checking this a next update. I love this <3
Re: Unconditional - Part 3/?
anonymous
March 3 2011, 16:22:24 UTC
I love what you're doing with the past/present tense. The contrast you're able to show is beautiful, and it's not like you're switching tenses as an accident; it's a conscious stylistic choice, and one the readers are enjoying.
I'm in love with this fill! I'm so happy you decided to take it up! Good luck with writing the next part! ♥
Unconditional - Part 4a/?
anonymous
March 4 2011, 02:28:11 UTC
Thanks to reviewer!anons!! I don't actually like present tense myself, but this story sort of wrote itself, so by the time I realized that it was in present tense, it was easier to just continue, rather than go back and try and change it all to past.(Trust me, I tried - not fun.) I'm glad it turned out okay. To OP!anon, I probably won't update more than once a day, but I should be able to update every day for a while. But feel free to be as obsessive as you want. :)
When Russia returned, Canada had done nothing but pull at the chain holding him to the wall. It was the only real obstacle to his escape at this point, at least that he could see
( ... )
Unconditional - Part 4b/?
anonymous
March 4 2011, 02:30:31 UTC
The sunlight shines through thin drapes, illuminating the room. Canada wakes, and the sight - of light, of the sun, of anything outside of that tiny box of a room - nearly has him singing with happiness. Standing on shaky legs, he frowns to see that his clothing is clean and dry - gloves and all - but he doesn't dwell on it, and as he gets his balance back, he walks over to the window
( ... )
Unconditional - Part 4c/?
anonymous
March 4 2011, 02:33:06 UTC
“Go on, little dog,” Russia chuckles, a happy sound that puts Canada's fear somewhat at ease. “You tried your best. All you need is a little practice.”
Food that isn't unappetizing brown mush. . . Canada has almost forgotten such a thing exists. Knowing better than to even attempt to use his glove-bound hands, Canada leans down eagerly. It takes him a couple tries to get the jerky from the floor with only his mouth, and once it's up he has to resort to holding it awkwardly between his hands as he gnaws at the leathery meat, but it's seasoned and delicious, and the realization that he is acting all the more like a dog is ignored.
One of these days, I'm going to get the hang of this characters-per-comment thing. I will. Eventually. Hope you like.
Re: Unconditional - Part 4c/?
anonymous
March 4 2011, 04:19:43 UTC
This is awesome, anon! *w*
Also, a trick I use for the characters-per-comment is to use Word Count in a word document. The character limit is 4300 characters, and a word count will often show you both the amount of words and characters used.
Re: Unconditional - Part 4c/?
anonymous
March 4 2011, 07:54:24 UTC
Hey, loving this story. And to your previous question, my mind didn't even pick up the switch in tenses, but I think that is a good thing. It means it's not distracting and you do a good job making the transition.
Also, a friendly pointer, when posting to the fills list apparently there is a rule that you post only once per page and per day. If there are two posts on the same page you place the second as a reply to the first. I'm only stating this because I've noticed some people get upset over it, so I though it would help to know for future updates.
This is so good *__* I really like how you're developing Canada's gradual submission to the situation as he's faced with the alternative, but still trying to internally cling to rebelling against Russia. And the way that Russia's acting (where he truly believes he's helping Canada, and seems surprised and unhappy when Canada lashes out) seems very IC for him.
Also I am going away for about a week now, so I might be unable to leave comments to any future updates for abit. However, I do have this thread tagged so I can read each part on my cellphone as it ends up in my email box, and I'll try to leave a big review when I get back!
Unconditional - Part 5/?
anonymous
March 5 2011, 03:26:56 UTC
Thanks to all reviewers!
Russia returned later, wielding an oddly shaped object - like a bowl with a rubber tube stuck through a hole in the bottom and long leather straps hanging from the wide opening - in one hand, and a new bowl in the other. Both objects were set down close by before he turned to Canada. The look in his eyes had the smaller nation pulling away - he would not submit to whatever strange torture the man had come up with - but it was not long before Russia overpowered him. Holding Canada down, Russia shoved the tube into the boy's mouth and down his throat, ignoring his struggles as he gagged at the intrusion. The contraption was then tied in place, Russia pulling off the knot at the back of Canada's head with one hand
( ... )
XX
“You are so troubled, little Canada. So sad ( ... )
Reply
“There will be no more tugging on chains,” Russia states matter-of-factly as he reaches for Canada's left arm.
It is humiliating, having his hands made as useless as a dog's paw, but he doesn't fight as the second glove is drawn up onto his left arm. They are warm, regardless of their purpose, and Canada has learned not to fight pointless battles.
“You will be a good dog now. I do not like having to keep you in here.”
“Then why do you!?” Canada wants to shout. “Why do you lock me up like an animal, treat me like a pet that won't behave?!” He knows it is futile; Russia won't listen and it would only make things harder on himself ( ... )
Reply
You've got their characterizations spot on, and Canada's fear and rebellion is so wonderful and palpable. I'm loving your type of Russian crazy, as well.
Please continue! I'm really looking forward to seeing more!
Reply
Reply
Your writing style and descriptions are very good, and I'm really enjoying this so far! I can't wait for the next part +____+ You are doing a wonderful job, authoranon!
Reply
Canada laid on the floor, his throat dry and his stomach growling. He had no way to know how much time had passed since he had been brought here, no way to know how long he had been screaming like a madman. All he knew was that no one had come ( ... )
Reply
*A* more please?
Reply
Lmao, in short this fanfiction is making me rethink my really stupid stance on tense. You're doing a great job!
Oh, and just to let you know, I am obessively checking this a next update. I love this <3
Reply
I'm in love with this fill! I'm so happy you decided to take it up! Good luck with writing the next part! ♥
Reply
I don't actually like present tense myself, but this story sort of wrote itself, so by the time I realized that it was in present tense, it was easier to just continue, rather than go back and try and change it all to past.(Trust me, I tried - not fun.) I'm glad it turned out okay.
To OP!anon, I probably won't update more than once a day, but I should be able to update every day for a while. But feel free to be as obsessive as you want. :)
When Russia returned, Canada had done nothing but pull at the chain holding him to the wall. It was the only real obstacle to his escape at this point, at least that he could see ( ... )
Reply
Reply
Food that isn't unappetizing brown mush. . . Canada has almost forgotten such a thing exists. Knowing better than to even attempt to use his glove-bound hands, Canada leans down eagerly. It takes him a couple tries to get the jerky from the floor with only his mouth, and once it's up he has to resort to holding it awkwardly between his hands as he gnaws at the leathery meat, but it's seasoned and delicious, and the realization that he is acting all the more like a dog is ignored.
One of these days, I'm going to get the hang of this characters-per-comment thing. I will. Eventually.
Hope you like.
Reply
Also, a trick I use for the characters-per-comment is to use Word Count in a word document. The character limit is 4300 characters, and a word count will often show you both the amount of words and characters used.
Reply
And to your previous question, my mind didn't even pick up the switch in tenses, but I think that is a good thing. It means it's not distracting and you do a good job making the transition.
Also, a friendly pointer, when posting to the fills list apparently there is a rule that you post only once per page and per day. If there are two posts on the same page you place the second as a reply to the first. I'm only stating this because I've noticed some people get upset over it, so I though it would help to know for future updates.
Reply
Also I am going away for about a week now, so I might be unable to leave comments to any future updates for abit. However, I do have this thread tagged so I can read each part on my cellphone as it ends up in my email box, and I'll try to leave a big review when I get back!
Reply
Russia returned later, wielding an oddly shaped object - like a bowl with a rubber tube stuck through a hole in the bottom and long leather straps hanging from the wide opening - in one hand, and a new bowl in the other. Both objects were set down close by before he turned to Canada. The look in his eyes had the smaller nation pulling away - he would not submit to whatever strange torture the man had come up with - but it was not long before Russia overpowered him. Holding Canada down, Russia shoved the tube into the boy's mouth and down his throat, ignoring his struggles as he gagged at the intrusion. The contraption was then tied in place, Russia pulling off the knot at the back of Canada's head with one hand ( ... )
Reply
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