So months later I reappear like an effing phoenix! Me and Jordan were poverty stricken after he lost his job, and we cut off the cable & internet. Then Morrissey cut his foot open, and I had to pay the vet with my first born child ... But we can afford to eat meat and use google again so now everything is okay ( Read more... )

So I bet you thought my mother's visit killed me, and she ran off with Jordan. Actually it almost killed me, and she almost ran off with Jordan ... almost being the key word. It was not that bad but then again herpes probably isn't that bad all the effing time, right.

Our apartment has never been cleaner, or the dog happier.

So my mother's visit looms .... Actually I do not have to go on a cleaning spree or anything, both Jordan and I cannot stand clutter or dirt really so things are usually tidy all the time and Jordan's OCD about cleaning anyway picks up where I leave off. Like I leave off where a normal person would, and he just picks up into crazy ( Read more... )

My mom will be coming out for a visit next month! I am using that exclamation point but it is the opposite of how I really feel. And of course Jordan is thrilled. Jordan is the perfect child my mother never had! I guess it is better than hating him ... he has a pierced ear after all, & I am not really known for my great effing choices in men, so ( Read more... )

So ... I guess we can all agree that I am pretty bad at keeping an online journal, and I should be punished. Oh but wait I already live in this crappy apartment building ... too late.

So I found a kid's shirt at the Salvation Army that says Meat Is Murder and I made Morrissey wear it to the dog park. I think he really liked it, and I think the other dogs did too. Me and Jordan enjoyed some dollar menu double cheeseburgers at the park too. I'm really effing into apparent contradictions. We should have named our high school band ( Read more... )

St. Patrick's Day! My look this year is more "green vomit everywhere" than "tasteful coordination" ... even my toes are a hideous neon. No pinching here.

For a while there I was convinced the nasty hitch-hiker-doin' neighbor was moving, but it turns out she was just trying to have a garage sale ... in our hallway.

I really hate reggae, and those rainbow dread hats. Oh and hacky-sacks too.

Thrift store finds have stepped up ... Jordan doesn't like to go with me because thrift stores make him itch, and sometimes I get tired of touching other people's throwaways ... but then I find a child's size Cher shirt, and it all makes sense again.

I made a scarf that no one barfed on, finally.