So I sit here with the taste of blood in my mouth (got a bit rough with the flosser) cursing at the power of mixed feelings and uncertainty. I sometimes wish just for something stable. Something I don't have to question and just can take it like it is without any second thought ( Read more... )

Edit to the previous entry. I'm moving too fast and I may have made a stupid decision. I just need to set my priorities straight. I love her very much and I think I'll still be seeing her. I just need to make myself happy.

...And for what? I've been going all through my life hunting for something to make me happy instead of looking for happiness within myself. I've been looking and trying to force the feeling inside of me, so I could wake up another day and trudge on. People and things can make me happy for only so long. It's not how it's supposed to be. I'm supposed ( Read more... )

Oh, forgot to post my most recent dreams. I'll just ultra summarize since it was a bit ago ( Read more... )

I feel so high-strung right now. If I don't hear something from Darlene, or she fails to read a few messages to send to her, my brain automatically thinks she doesn't care. Why is it that I so believe she'd just lose interest in me so quickly and leave ( Read more... )

Now I think I'm just boring Darlene...Why is it that I have nothing to talk about?

I guess not finding my day interesting has an affect on it. Do you guys think I talk about interesting things? (That is, when I talk)

Well a gal that recently left my school began to contact me more often. She was a gal that I had interests in and I am glad to learn she shares the same feelings. Already I feel my embers begin to breathe in sweet oxygen. Today we went to go see Stranger Than Fiction and I really enjoyed it, though both of our parents were present. Her mother ( Read more... )

'Tis a torture to still smell her in my hair.

Do I just love torturing myself or is this just happening a lot to me?

This entry is going to be short partly because I have school and also I just don't feel like going through the details. Last night I had a dream, and in this dream I had met someone I had really felt for. As in my physical body could feel it. Anyways, we were trying to get together for some alone time, but there were several detours and things in ( Read more... )

Well last night I had another dream that I can mostly remember. The first part is a bit hazy, though ( Read more... )