After a lengthy shouting match with my parents over my current situation at home and with others, I've decided to once again shut this journal down. Not that I have been here around much since the last time I shut it down, its just I have too much at stake here. I have been taking a lot of risks with this thing anyways, having probation reading ( Read more... )

You know what's strange? I read these pages of endless problems that all my LJ friends are going through, and it kinda reminds me of an endless number of ships going in circles upon the ocean, sending out their SOS signals, and occaisonally passing within sight of each other to help for a brief moment of understanding before sailing on as if ( Read more... )

Wow, I guess I never really thought of how angry some of my writing seems at times. I was going over some of these past entries because, frankly, I couldn't remember what I wrote, and there are endless streams of blah-blah-blah that can be taken as mean or angry, and that really isn't how I wanted this journal to reflect upon me. I don't know, do ( Read more... )

Yeah. 6,500. That is how much Rebecca's surgery would cost without health insurance. When you are barely able to scrape up enough money for food, how in the hell are you going to afford all this ( Read more... )

I hate these numbers now ( Read more... )

Ok, Now I am f-ing pissed. My mood went from somber, sulky, lonely to just plain old pissed off. I typed out a message for about an hour, trying to hold my emotions in check the whole time, and the goddamn computer just deleted it. 'Cause after all, I needed another thing to do with my "complacency ( Read more... )

Well, apparently my last message was a little vague or ignored. The person I was directing it towards never replied, and frankly, I don't know if I should care. I feel like I'm in high school again. Sometimes its sad to be helpless, but when you are doing it to yourself, the only way you will escape the clutches of whatever prison you might be ( Read more... )

Smacking my head against the wall never felt so good, and you know why. For the love, you don't see the forest for the trees...

Nah. Just saying hi. This week has dragged so damned long. I wanted to say so many things but felt like the whole week was on some time warp where it was either too fast or too slow. I suppose I've had to come to grips with the possibility of having a future, and that kinda scared me a little. Not since high school have I really planned ( Read more... )

Over the past twenty-four hours, I was struck with the harsh reality that there is no real good reason why I should return to Bellingham. Its just too painful. I was wrong the other day about home being where you are. Sometimes that home is burnt to the ground and the ghosts poison the land upon which you can never come back ( Read more... )