LIVEJOURNAL

just opened my fridge for the first time since sunday when i put leftover garlic salmon in there. there was also a wilting blt from three weeks ago. i wonder if this smell will ever leave my room/the hallway/the stairwell/amherst. i wonder if this week will ever end!

false alarm, nothing is wrong, they did the biopsy and they think the changes that worried them will resolve themselves over time and could be due to my native kidneys. it's pretty funny because the nurse who called me about the changes in the blood results said they couldn't attribute the changes to anything but the new kidney. she was really sour ( Read more... )

they think the disease has recurred in the new kidney. i don't see a point in anything anymore. every time i begin to feel like i can be happy and alive again something bad happens. i'm just waiting for something good. until i know this thing is going to work, period, i can't think about anything else. when i can sleep i dream that they're sticking ( Read more... )

i've been home for less than 24 hours, and i've already decided that if all goes well this summer i'm moving back to amherst in the winter. it's true, i love western massachusetts ( Read more... )

people generally take their health for granted.

me: "fuck this shit"

ashley: "oh my god hilary i totally agree with you"

...................

also, jackie got an apartment in marshfield!!

so early this morning i had a dream that i was thrift store shopping, and i found a pair of black low-top leather sneakers, kinda like canvas vans but not canvas, with a green stripe around them. less than two hours after this dream i went to french class and my professor was wearing these same exact sneaks! for real. it was incredible ( Read more... )

i met this kid last night at the dc, an engineer major. i told him i was an english major specializing in creative writing, and he said "what? like, journalism?" and i said "no, well i can do journalism, but no. creative writing." he didn't understand what creative writing was, apparently. then he said what can i really do with my major except ( Read more... )

is it bad that i would be content to work in the umass dishroom for at least a long time, if i could make a living doing so? it's not that i don't have greater dreams. i just really like the dishroom.