Glee Fic: Undisclosed Desires - Part 2
The jet lag was still bothering Blaine when they headed out to the rink the next morning. He felt disorientated and fuzzy. It was a bit worrying but there wasn't much he could do, all he could do was to skate through the routine.
Maybe that was why he skated through his short program with hardly any thought other than what came next in his routine. His head went from the quad toe - triple loop combination to the triple axel and the spin combination and then the triple flip with the transitions to the circular step sequence and the flying spin to the sit spin at the end. He found himself after the two minutes and fifty seconds, standing in the middle of the ice, quite dazed. All he knew was that he hadn't fallen down on any element or missed any, but whether his quad had been fully rotated or not or if he'd landed the lutz on the right edge, he was not sure. Normally he kind of knew whether he'd managed to get all the elements properly.
The score wasn't too bad, 83.75. It was his season's best and he couldn't really ask for more.
Now all he had to do was to wait and see how the skaters after him would fare, including Kurt.
Seeing a routine in competition was always so different from seeing them in another setting, so when the first notes of Muse's 'Undisclosed Desires' sounded over the ice and Kurt moved from his starting pose, Blaine almost held his breath. The opening quad toe was a thing of beauty and every element was precise and elegant. He even made his sit spin in the shoot-the-duck position look graceful but it was the straight-line step-sequence that was the star of the program. It obviously was what Blaine had seen Kurt be practicing when he first arrived at McKinley. Full of tango-like steps, almost like he was tangoing with someone. He would sway back like someone was leading him in the tango and then take strong step forward like he was leading. As he struck the final pose, it dawned on Blaine what that program was about. It wasn't an excuse to skate to a favorite song like most of the skaters had done now they were able to pick music with vocals.
Kurt was airing his frustration of not speaking up about his sexuality in his routine. Hell, Kurt was calling out the figure skating world for being so heteronormative in his routine. That was how Blaine was seeing it and he didn't want to see it any other way. Standing underneath the stands, watching one of the screens there, he wanted to shout 'hell yeah!'
His elation over Kurt's program hadn't diminished as he watched Kurt in the kiss-and-cry. He seemed composed but visibly tired, perspiration shining on his forehead. He whipped it off with a tissue and whispered something to Coach Schuester who sat next to him.
Blaine knew that Kurt's score had to be higher than his, if only for the technical content. His spins were definitely all a level four, not to mention the intricacy of the transitions and the moves-in-the-field. The uncertainty factor was the Program Components. Maybe they would reward Kurt for his superior skating skills but maybe they wouldn't appreciate what Kurt was telling them.
So 86.25 wasn't exactly the score Blaine had thought he would see for Kurt. Sure, it was higher than his but a part of the judges were most likely offended and were dragging Kurt's average down.
At dinner, back at the hotel, Kurt was a little subdued. Blaine didn't bring anything up there as he wasn't sure what Kurt was ready divulge in front of their coaches.
Kurt wanted to go to bed early and Blaine followed him, claiming he wanted to retire early as well. He didn't say anything as he entered the elevator with Kurt, but as Kurt's room wasn't on the same floor as Blaine's he exited the elevator with Kurt and said:
"Can we talk?"
"Yeah, sure," Kurt replied.
"I just... your short program... it was... it was everything." Blaine wanted to take Kurt's hand but didn't because Kurt looked a little taken aback.
"Okay... but you have seen me skate this so often."
"Never in competition. I purposely don't watch any of the Grand Prix series until it's over, you know? But I was thinking more of how you skated this, being true to you. Just not giving a fuck, excuse my language, about whether the judges would be clutching their pearls or not. Being the best skater you can be and just putting your heart out on the ice."
Kurt smiled at Blaine's enthusiasm, the sort of smile that reached his eyes, making the corners crinkle in a manner that Blaine couldn't describe as anything other than cute.
"Thank you. It means a lot coming from you."
"You think you'll be as grateful tomorrow if I beat you in the free?" Blaine couldn't help but add in a playful tone.
"Ho ho, which one of us has won the Final before?"
"I got two quads, you don't."
"Shut your mouth, Anderson!" Kurt said in mock rage, sneakily extending his arm to tickle Blaine.
"Oh, it's on!" Blaine shouted before retaliating.
The free went by in a blur but Blaine was a little surer on how he'd done when he left the ice after this routine than he’d been after the short. He’d double-footed his landing on the quad flip and gone with a double toe in the combination after his triple salchow, instead of a triple toe. He had been the third to skate and his score got him to first place but it was likely that the three skaters after him would score higher than him, including Kurt.
Again he waited under the stands to watch Kurt skate. His long program felt more internal than the short. It showcased all of Kurt's strengths as a skater, his athleticism and his artistry and he looked a vision in his mostly black costume that emphasized his long lines. The music was clearly expressed in every movement but it did feel like he was watching a private moment.
When it came to the scoring, the judges seemed to feel a little more favorable towards Kurt, awarding him with 193.34 points which got him the gold medal.
And at that point Blaine realized he'd been caring more about Kurt getting the gold than about his own scores.
The realization of caring more about Kurt doing well than himself doing well was still with Blaine a couple of days later when they were rehearsing for the final gala, though at least it hadn't driven him into an existential crisis over whether he had lost his competitive edge. He had never had high hopes of medaling at the Grand Prix Final as he had benefitted from not having so steep a competition at the Grand Prix competitions he had been assigned to.
No, this realization was about something deep that had more to do with him and Kurt personally, rather than their skating.
Blaine was pretty certain he knew what it was and that made his stomach tingle. Not in an unpleasant way but it did make him a little uneasy. What the sort of a guy fell for his training mate and competitor? It almost felt like a cliché from a romantic comedy. It was one thing to think Kurt was hot and rather ridiculously pretty but having feelings for him was a whole different beast.
He had packed the shorts and the neon-colored polo that was his costume for the 'Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go' number but he also had a pair of slacks, a white dress shirt and a tailored jacket that he could wear, should he instead skate to 'All Of Me'. He had gotten together with Brittany twice to figure out a routine. They hadn't really nailed it down yet, but at the moment, what was bubbling inside of him wanted him to skate to 'All Of Me'. He would get no emotional release skating to 'Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go' but half-assed routine or not, 'All Of Me' was more likely to enable him to emote on the ice.
Competition galas didn't really offer much when it came to the group numbers, mostly because they were usually held a few hours after the last competition was held. This time around, they were supposed to skate around the ice in a row and then form circles around the gold medalists who were supposed to do their thing for a bit and that was it. It wasn't terribly hard but people still had to learn where their place was and get the time at least half way right.
Blaine left the decision about his routine until the last minute when he had to hand over the music he was skating to. Heading into the changing rooms, he saw Kurt was already there, in front of a mirror applying make-up. He was dressed in a tailsuit waistcoat and pants which were very normal looking. One leg was the traditional black but the other was white. Then Kurt turned from the mirror and Blaine could see his face better. A half of his face had full make-up on, eyeshadow, eyebrows done, blush, everything and on the other half of his face was painted a thin black mustache on his upper lip. It looked really cool and Blaine was very intrigued to see what the routine would look like. Kurt was obviously not in full costume yet, the tailsuit jacket was missing.
Seeing how he'd been fourth, he was amongst the first out on the ice. Those who didn't medal at the Grand Prix final didn't always get to skate in the gala but this time around, all the competitors in fourth place had been invited.
Slicking his hair back and trying to tame his unruly curls, he looked in the mirror. He wasn't displeased with what he saw. The white shirt was tucked in, the jacket was buttoned. He was ready to skate to some John Legend.
He and Brittany had choreographed some moves. In this program he jumped around much less than he had done in his old show routine. There was more interpretation, more using his face other than putting on a big smile, and way more connecting to the lyrics.
When he initially thought of the song he had been thinking about it being about skating but it wasn't the sport of figure skating he was thinking of when he moved his body around, trying to make the words come alive.
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
As much as that applied to the sport, all he could see in his mind's eye was Kurt. Kurt on the ice, Kurt being brave, Kurt in all his glory.
The emotional connection felt hard, like everyone in the audience could sense his thoughts and feelings but at the same time, it was freeing, like everything he liked to stash inside was flying free over the ice. It had been so long since he had felt that free on the ice, like he was flying and he could hear that the audience liked it. They always cheered for him before but they seemed to know that they were seeing something special. Blaine Anderson coming into his own.
When the routine was over along with the applause, he stepped off the ice and went backstage where he was met by Kurt who was wearing a wry smile on his face.
"That was something. I didn't know you had changed your routine."
Blaine was going to reply but the words caught in his throat as he took in the vision that was Kurt in his full costume. His hair slicked back, half his face made up like a woman and half made up like a man and the tailsuit, now complete with a jacket that was half traditional black and half white and sequenced with this long fringe hanging from the sleeve. He looked like the world's most enticing dichotomy.
It turned out he was skating to 'Le Jazz Hot' from Victor/Victoria. That explained the fringe on the sleeve and it was obvious that the theme of the routine was inspired by the movie, a bit of gender-bending, and so of course he included moves that were more common to see a female skater do.
And again Blaine was struck by how brave Kurt really was.
Afterward, Blaine didn't really get a chance to catch up with Kurt. There were costumes to take off, sweat to shower off and then a gala dinner to prepare for.
It was held at the hotel they were staying at. A great feast, with mostly Japanese food but also some things Blaine was a little more used to, though he found most of the Japanese food rather delicious.
These occasions were usually a happy fare where the skaters were dressed in their finest and less pre-occupied with competing against each other than usual. Blaine was seated with a Chinese pair and a Russian female skater and they had a lot to talk about. As the evening went on and the dinner was over, Blaine mingled a little more until he found himself at the table where Kurt was sitting.
"Hey, you," he said, looking at Kurt who was looking extra handsome in a printed jacket, dark pants and a blue tie.
Kurt smiled and pulled out the chair next to him for Blaine to sit on.
"Hey yourself."
"I know I've already congratulated you on the gold but I kind of want to congratulate you again."
"Thank you, again. I, on the other hand, want to tell you how much I liked your exhibition routine. It was a change for you, I must say."
"Yeah, it was. Let's just say that people were encouraging me to be more emotive in my routines and that I was inspired." Blaine turned his head; it felt hard to look directly at Kurt.
"Oh, what inspired you?" The question was honest enough but giving Kurt the truest answer wasn't something Blaine was prepared to do.
"Uhm, just figure skating in general and... someone I like."
"Oh," Kurt said, looking down and then back at Blaine, his voice trembling ever so slightly. "Lucky them."
They weren't sitting alone at the table but the other people sitting there were deeply engaged in a conversation, talking in rapid French. And now it was apparently time for Blaine to be brave and probably stupid. Most definitely stupid because this had the potential to go so very wrong but he couldn't stand to even think of hurting Kurt and right now he was looking a little hurt, his eyes sad and his lovely lips were curving downwards.
"It's you," Blaine dared to breathe. Kurt's eyes widened and his face froze, then he furrowed his brows.
"Don't make fun of me," he said, his voice sounding fragile, yet rough, obviously so close to breaking.
"I'm not, really, I'm not." Blaine felt panicked and all he could think of to do before Kurt could burst into tears or worse, punch him, was to take his hand and pull him up with him to drag him somewhere private. Kurt didn't struggle but he kept silent as Blaine pushed them between the tables and through the people standing around, until they had left the banquet hall where the gala dinner was being held and found themselves in a deserted hallway.
"What's going on?" Kurt asked when they stopped and were sure that no one would be listening to them.
"There's nothing going on, Kurt. I'm telling the truth here. I like you. It's probably very foolish of me to fall for you, since you’re my training mate and my competitor and maybe this will fuck everything up but... I can't lie to you and pretend that I wasn't thinking of you when I was skating earlier." Blaine felt breathless, even though he hadn't been during his skate, his stomach was a tingling mess and he wasn't sure whether he wanted to cry, laugh or vomit.
Kurt stood there for a minute, his face unreadable, as stony as it had ever been, but then he took a step forward, so he was standing face to face with Blaine. The next thing Blaine knew were Kurt's hands cradling his face and he was kissing him. Kurt's lips felt soft and the kiss tender. All coherent thought drained away from Blaine and all he could do, all he wanted to do, was to grab onto the lapels of Kurt's jacket and kiss him back.
It wasn't Blaine's first kiss but it was the first time he was kissing someone he truly liked, loved, even though he hadn't given any words to the particular feeling, not even inside his own head. It did feel like a first kiss, like all the other kisses he'd had were pale imitations.
After an undetermined time period - time had pretty much stopped existing in Blaine's mind - Kurt pulled away, and there was a flicker in his eyes, something that looked too much like uncertainty for Blaine's taste.
"I... I don't know what came over me," Kurt whispered, clenching his hands at his sides like he wanted to apologize. Blaine reached out for Kurt's hand and touched it in what he hoped was a reassuring manner.
"Don't... I like it. I... I would like to kiss you again." With that, Blaine was the one who reached to touch Kurt's face and then to kiss him. He didn't want to spook Kurt, who seemed jittery enough already, but he couldn't help but open his mouth a little to deepen the kiss and was rewarded with Kurt deepening the kiss even more, his tongue lapping at Blaine's lips.
When they broke the kiss, Blaine found himself slightly winded and his heart beating inside his chest like he'd just finished a short program at least.
"Well," Kurt said, the nervousness dissipating from his features, replaced by mischief glinting in his eyes and a playful smile on his lips, "that was something. I kind of don't want to stop but... " He stopped mid-sentence and looked away, coyly.
What he'd left unsaid wasn't lost on Blaine. More kissing and it would turn too heated, too much, too soon.
"Yeah," Blaine said, "but can I kiss you some other time? Can I take you out when we’re back home?"
"Oh, you better, Anderson," Kurt said, shaking his fist in a mock rage. "Or I'll kick your ass wearing my skates."
Blaine had never taken anyone out on a date before. He had known it might be nerve-wracking but he hadn't anticipated the sweaty palms and the nausea. It wasn't like it was a blind date or anything like that: he knew Kurt, he knew kissing Kurt was beyond awesome. It shouldn't be this hard. They had agreed to go and see a movie and then have something to eat. Their schedule didn't allow for much dallying. Nationals were in a month and that was probably going to be a tougher competition, as not only would they be competing for the National title but also the two spots that were open for the World Championships.
Kurt came to pick him up, since between the two of them, he was the one who had a car. Blaine lived close enough to the ice rink to walk there. It wasn't that much farther off to where Kurt lived but he said he liked having a car and the freedom that came with it. It was also possible that the fact Kurt's father was an auto-mechanic might have something to do with Kurt having a car.
The movie was entertaining enough but somewhere in the middle of it, Kurt reached over to Blaine and took his hand. It was an innocent enough gesture but Blaine was unable to follow the rest of the movie.
Seeing how they were in the middle of their competitive season, they went somewhere where they could have something relatively healthy. Kurt ended up with a grilled chicken breast while Blaine ate some spicy shrimp salad. They kept up an idle conversation to begin with; discussing skating gossip and trading stories about other skaters.
"I try my best to see the best in people," Kurt said, stabbing a cherry tomato on his plate with a fork. "But I can't stand Jean-Baptiste."
The Jean-Baptiste in question was the reigning Olympic champion in Men's Figure Skating. The Canadian Quad Machine he was called in the press. There were always murmurs amongst the other skaters that the judges were perhaps a little too favorable towards Jean-Baptiste. Blaine had never competed against him, he’d hardly even met the guy. Jean-Baptiste had skipped out on the Grand Prix series this season, something that only an injured skater or an Olympic champion could really do, but he was bound to try and win his fourth consecutive World title the coming spring.
Kurt, on the other hand, was more closely acquainted with Jean-Baptiste.
"I mean, he had always been full of himself, known exactly how good he is and all that. I'm used to that. I mean, I've shared ice with Rachel Berry for years. But god, those few days I had to stick around after the men's event at the Olympics. Basically he stopped just short of literally rubbing his gold medal in my face. Don't you remember his interviews afterward? 'Oh, as we clearly saw during my event, the Olympics are only for those who can withstand the pressure. Honestly, I think some of my competitors should probably think twice about retirement. They just aren't skating on the same level as us medalists...' Ugh, I could puke."
Blaine had witnessed those interviews but hadn't really made the connection that he had been talking about those skaters who had been considered medal contenders before the Olympics, like Kurt. And now he didn't care for Jean-Baptiste one bit.
Thankfully the conversation segued into something more pleasant than rival skaters. They talked about music, movies and what they wanted to do when their competitive careers were over.
"I think I might like to go into fashion," Kurt said. "I've even wondered if I should start taking some classes but I think I need to keep my mind on one subject, not be all over the place."
Blaine nodded. He hadn't really decided. He had his high school diploma, not much of it earned by attending classes. Of course he had given thought to attending college but when he wasn't sure what he wanted to do with his life, he wasn't going to waste time on that. He could see himself as a coach, maybe not an elite coach like Sue and Schuester, he'd rather work with kids.
After the date, Kurt drove Blaine home. He’d intended to give Kurt a quick good night kiss but his good intentions didn't really have much sway over his hormones when Kurt pulled him closer, as close as they could be, reaching each other between the seats in the front of the car, over the transmission. It was all still so new between them and Blaine felt his inexperience keenly but he couldn't stop. How could someone's mouth be so wonderful?
They finally ended the kiss, maybe because the position they were in started to become very uncomfortable. Kurt's face was flushed and his eyes were shining and Blaine was sure he looked pretty much the same. They stared at each other for a moment, a secret little smile on Kurt's lips that Blaine was sure he was mirroring.
"Why can't I be kissing you always?" Kurt said, a sigh in his voice.
"Hhm, not sure. I know I wouldn't mind it at all."
They broke out in giggles and Blaine had to fight a strong urge to reach back over to the driver's seat to kiss Kurt some more.
"Okay, next time...?" Kurt looked over at Blaine who was quick to nod enthusiastically. "I think we should be somewhere we can make out. Wanna come over to my place tomorrow and watch a movie?" The way he said 'watch a movie' sounded like the most suggestive thing in the world to Blaine. Kurt's plan had to be the best plan in the world.
The days that were left before Christmas went by very quickly. Hours upon hours of skating every day for both Kurt and Blaine and then movie and TV watching in the evening that usually turned quickly into make-out sessions. They were still rather respectful of each other, hardly venturing with their hands south of the equator.
"So, what are you doing for Christmas?" Kurt asked Blaine a few days before Christmas, as they were leaving the ice rink after a training session. Blaine didn't really have any plans. His parents were spending time with his brother in Colorado and due to his training, Blaine couldn't take the time to meet them there. Sam was going to see his family so Blaine had vague plans about watching movies and training.
"Nothing, except you know, hit the ice."
"Oh, not meeting your family?"
"No," Blaine said. "They have to divide the attention between me and Cooper and Cooper is currently working in Colorado and it's kind of far to go and meet them there."
"Uhm, my Dad is coming to visit me. I was wondering, you can join us on Christmas Eve. I mean, no need for you to be alone. I'd love to have you." Kurt turned towards Blaine, adjusting the scarf Blaine was wearing.
"I'd love to."
He had seen Burt Hummel before, from a distance at Nationals last year, and of course, a shot of him teary-eyed in the stands after Kurt's disastrous free skate at the Olympics had made it to the sports pages of newspapers around the world. The man in the flesh wasn't the stereotypical skating parent, obsessed with the minutest details of their child's training, appearance and so on. He was a laid-back guy who kind of fitted that Joe Plumber stereotype, just without the Republican rhetoric.
"I think I remember you, kid," Burt said when Kurt introduced Blaine to him. "What was that program you did at Nationals for the long? West Side Story, right? Looking very much the part of Tony there in your jacket."
Blaine nodded. He had liked his long program last year but he equally loved his long this year, though he had shied away from using lyrics even if he could. Maybe next year - and maybe next year he might venture outside of his musical comfort zone.
"You know, I think Kurt here might have talked a little bit about you then. I don't know why." Burt had just the same sort of wry smile as Kurt tended to have. Kurt was definitely not sporting one now, his cheeks were bright pink and under his breath he said "Dad!" in a chastising tone.
Hanging out with the Hummels on Christmas Eve ended up being one of the nicest Christmases Blaine had ever had, or at least since he stopped believing in Santa Claus. He and Kurt had agreed not to exchange gifts since they didn't really have any time to go shopping except for groceries.
Kurt invited Blaine over on Christmas Day after Burt had left. They ate the leftovers of the Christmas lunch Kurt had made earlier that day and then they’d intended to watch 'White Christmas' but never got so far as to put the DVD into the player.
It began like most of their make-out sessions, where they slowly moved into a horizontal position on Kurt's couch (sometimes it was Blaine's couch), but this time around shirts were being pulled up and hands touching skin they hadn't previously touched.
Blaine was in actual awe of how soft Kurt's skin felt underneath his shirt, all smooth and lovely and Kurt seemed like touching Blaine back, so much that he pushed himself up, straddling Blaine's leg and asked:
"Can we... you know... take our shirts off?"
At that moment, Blaine felt like that was the best request in the universe and when Kurt took off his shirt, Blaine knew it was the best request in the world. He had seen Kurt shirtless plenty of times but to feel his skin against his, that didn't compare.
After just a few minutes of exploring hands, Blaine could feel himself grow hard. It wasn't the first time it happened while they were making out, but now that they had gone one step further he wasn't really sure what they should do. If they didn’t stop now, Kurt was bound to notice and Blaine didn't want to push him or make him feel pressured. A part of him wanted to allow things to go further, see what happened, wanted them to explore each other completely, but this was still so new for them both and it was fragile.
So he tried to shift and move away but Kurt always followed his movements, always pulling him closer when Blaine tried to maneuver his hips away. It kept getting harder and harder for Blaine to conceal his hard-on.
"Kurt," he whispered when Kurt was holding him by the waist, clutching him.
"Please," murmured Kurt and shifted just a little and then Blaine discovered that he wasn't the only one who had gotten hard. Kurt's erection was pressed to his thigh and Blaine could feel his mouth dry up. He wanted to believe that he was more in control of himself than he was, but he couldn't help but push into Kurt, slotting his thigh better between Kurt's legs and just moving, rubbing against him, feeling the friction, feeling the tension build. Kurt was making these little noises like his breath was hitching with every move and Blaine couldn't help but bury his face in the crook of Kurt's neck, feeling the urgency in every bit of his body. For a moment, everything in him felt so much like it did when he was in the air, doing a jump on the ice, the coiled tension of his body in motion before slamming into the hard ice.
Then he came, his body growing taut and his vision whiting out. It was intense and he was probably holding Kurt way too tight but he had to hold him, otherwise it felt like he would drift away. Kurt wasn't far behind him; his climax came with a squeaky sort of a moan that Blaine would find adorable if his brain hadn't just been fried.
When their breathing had evened out, Blaine pushed himself off Kurt.
“I’m… we are doing more and... shouldn't we talk before we go any further?"
Kurt didn't answer right away and started busying himself with cleaning them up. Then he sighed.
"We should. And I know... I want to try it all, frotting, well, I suppose we did that just now, but there's naked frottage, blowjobs, anal. But don't feel like I'm pushing you. I can wait and if you never want to do it, then it's fine by me. I mean, we should both be comfortable."
"Yeah," Blaine breathed. "I don't want you to feel pressured or anything and yeah, I like that you want to wait for me as well."
The thing about waiting is that it usually means that there is something that can't happen right away because there are certain impediments in place.
Both Kurt and Blaine wanted more. Those first mutual orgasms had opened up a floodgate. When they weren't on the ice, and they were there a lot since Nationals were just around the corner, they were in each other's beds, hands and mouths exploring.
On New Year's Eve they left a party at Elliott's early, before they could end up actually doing something in front of their friends and training mates that they probably wouldn't want to see.
So they found themselves on Kurt's bed.
"How do you want to celebrate the New Year?" Blaine said, leaning on his arm, looking at Kurt.
"I don't know, maybe with your mouth."
Blaine laughed. It did feel a bit ridiculous to talk about their desires but they tried not to be too self-conscious about it. After all, both of them performed in front of thousands of people, literally risking their asses doing so.
"I think I might be able to fulfill your request," Blaine said, before getting up on his hands and knees and lifting himself over Kurt's body.
He loved the wiry leanness of the body underneath him. Those few inches that Kurt had on him in height made so much difference in their build. Every line on Kurt's body looked impossibly long while he himself was compact and solid.
Peppering the skin of the body underneath him with kisses, he moved further down. He kissed down Kurt's sternum, his flat and hard stomach, that lovely fold of muscle over his hipbones. Kurt was making these impatient grunts and Blaine knew why. He had learned quickly enough that Kurt had many sensitive spots on his body, making it so easy to really turn him on.
"Blaine, please."
As nice it could be to hear Kurt beg, Blaine didn't want to make him suffer and the suffering could be ended by him having his mouth on Kurt's cock.
This was Blaine's second attempt at a blowjob. The first one had been successful in that Kurt came in under a minute, but unsuccessful in that most of his come got into Blaine's eyes.
This time he was hoping it would last a bit longer because he really liked giving one. Maybe that was because it was Kurt who was receiving or maybe he liked it in general, not that he intended to bestow blowjobs on other guys in the near future or anything. The feel of Kurt hard in his mouth was one of the best things he'd ever experienced and he loved how every lick, every movement of his tongue and mouth elicited a reaction from Kurt, whether it was a moan or the trembling of his body. And this time around Kurt managed to double the time he could withstand the pleasure that Blaine was giving him. This time Blaine was careful not to pull off when Kurt climaxed, it was hard to swallow but he managed.
"Wow," Kurt said, sounding absolutely done when Blaine moved to lie besides him. "I seriously get why people are so obsessed with sex."
"Mmm," was the best reply Blaine could muster. He hadn't come yet but he was so close after giving Kurt head.
"Oh, poor baby, we need to do something about this," Kurt said, noticing Blaine's predicament.
Kurt's solution to the problem at hand was to push Blaine to his back and make him spread his legs before taking his dick in his hand, stroking him slowly while rubbing spit-wet fingers over Blaine's perineum. It was like Kurt had found a magic button. Blaine had done plenty of self-exploring in that area of his body but feeling Kurt's fingers there was a whole different story.
So different that Kurt didn't get that much chance to move his fingers further before Blaine was coming hard over Kurt's hand and over his own stomach.
"Okay," Kurt said laughing.
Blaine kind of wanted to apologize but the neurotransmitters in his brain were rather overloaded at the moment.
Soon enough, he found his way back to earth, back to Kurt who was lying besides him, smiling while trying to mop up most of the come with a tissue.
"Our stamina might need some work," he said. Blaine turned to face him more.
"Oh, I suppose we can work on that together."
"That's going to be one project I’ll very much look forward to." Kurt said, before pulling Blaine into a kiss.
Only three weeks after the New Year, Blaine and Kurt were to compete in The U.S. Figure Skating Championships or Nationals like the Championships were usually referred to, and the training was definitely picking up a notch. Every evening they dragged themselves exhausted from the skating rink, too tired for anything more than a goodbye kiss.
"You know, I think we should room together at Nationals," Kurt suggested a week before they were to leave. Blaine looked at him; they were in the locker room, alone thankfully, after a rather rigorous training session where Coach Sue had not seen any reason to spare them.
"I know what you’re thinking, we have other things to think about than, you know, sex, but I kind of want you with me, whether we are going to celebrate or you know, cry over our losses. I think we'll manage to keep our hands off each other until after the long program, right?"
"I think so," Blaine said.
"Good," Kurt said, the smile on his face a little shy. "There's another thing I want to talk to you about. 'Cause it does concern you."
"Okay?"
"I'm... If I manage to hold on to my Nationals title, let's pretend for a moment that you aren't a serious threat to that, I want to come out. I mean, I want to come out publicly. I know it's the biggest cliché in the world... I suppose I should have before the Olympics but I wasn't sure enough of myself, but this year, and you, have made me stronger and I want to do this, let everyone know."
Blaine just stared. There was nothing he wanted more than for the whole world to see just how brave Kurt was. But if Kurt was to out himself, then did that mean their relationship would become public as well?
Somehow Kurt must have read that concern on his face, realizing exactly what Blaine was thinking.
"I don't necessarily have to mention you, I just want to be out and put an end to all the veiled speculation, plus you know, giving the naysayers the finger."
Blaine snickered, even though he knew so well what Kurt meant.
"But I wasn't planning on mentioning us, I mean, not unless you want me to." Kurt looked at him and Blaine could see that Kurt was afraid he might be hurting him.
"I don't want to hide it, you know," Blaine said, "but this is so new between us. I think we need a little more time before we start telling the world. I don't know what time frame one should use but maybe we should try to finish out this season?"
Kurt nodded and reached over to take Blaine's hand.
"Thank you."
It did sound like Kurt had wanted to say something else that also ended in 'you'.
The media was a little less interested in the Nationals, those years when there were no Winter Olympics, and Blaine was kind of glad. There were a few sportscasters milling about with a handful of other journalists but for the most part, the publicity part of the experience was relatively hassle-free. Kurt had given a couple of interviews where they brought up the Olympics, but for the most part he'd been a trooper in answering those questions and being the Grand Prix champion did help him a lot.
No, the hassle wasn't coming from the media. The Nationals brought Blaine together with his former training mates at Dalton. Most of them were friendly and ready to congratulate him on his Grand Prix successes but then there was Sebastian.
It would have been too much to say that Sebastian had been Blaine's enemy or anything of that sort, but Sebastian's style of competing did involve psyching out the competition and during their time at Dalton together, they had been at odds.
Blaine had always tried his best to ignore Sebastian but his little quips could be hard to ignore.
Like when he and Kurt arrived to the first official training session. Those were always rather tedious since they were more for the benefit of the media and the few fans who bothered to show up so early. Normally not much was accomplished unless you were the sort of athlete who lived for psyching out the competition.
"Oh, isn't it Headcase Hummel and Average Anderson?" Sebastian was standing at the boards like he had been waiting for them.
Kurt didn't say anything, didn't even acknowledge Sebastian but skated onto the ice. Blaine, on the other hand, was probably fatally polite and felt he had to greet his former training mate even though he had just insulted him.
"Sebastian," he said, curtly.
"Aww, where's the love, Blaine? Or have you been learning the ways of the ice queen there?" Sebastian nicked his head in the direction of where Kurt was skating on the ice, looking like he wanted to land his triple axel on someone’s head.
"I see you haven't changed," Blaine said, getting ready to skate onto the ice and twirl around for the photographers present.
"That's where you're wrong. While you were wasting time on flying to the far corners of the World to compete at some competitions no one cares about, at least not the federation, I was training hard to get my quads under control. I want the gold, Anderson."
Blaine wanted to come up with a witty retort but he wasn't there to have Sebastian rile him up. So instead he skated onto the ice without a word. Sebastian was clearly annoyed with the fact that he couldn't get to Blaine with his words so he tried his best to interrupt Blaine's training session by skating too close to him and around him.
It was impossible to ignore him completely though Blaine tried his best, but the anger kept building inside of him. He knew in his heart he was a better skater than Sebastian and he knew that all this was just Sebastian knowing that and trying desperately to cover for that fact. Blaine wanted to show him that no matter how much time Sebastian would spend 'perfecting his quad', he didn't have a quad flip like him. He glided straight down the ice, held his right foot forward, turned and vaulted into the jump, rotating four times in the air before landing, correct edge and all.
What he couldn't see while in the air was Sebastian skating towards him, probably hoping that his being there would fib Blaine's landing. What happened instead was that Blaine's momentum after landing the jump had him crashing straight into Sebastian, causing them both to fall onto the ice.
The fall didn't hurt as much as it knocked the wind out of Blaine, so it took him a moment to get upright next to a huffing Sebastian. The collision and the fall had obviously drawn the attention of the other skaters who had stopped what they were doing, and Kurt came rushing towards them.
"Are you okay, Blaine?" he asked, a worrying tone clear in his voice as he reached out his hand for Blaine to take and get completely back on his feet.
"Yeah, yeah," said Blaine, he wasn't hurting but he needed to shake the fall off.
"Wait, wait." Sebastian looked between them. "Don't tell me. You two?" He looked absolutely incredulous.
"Sometimes people help each other," Kurt said, "it's called being a human being, Smythe." He managed to make Sebastian's last name sound like the filthiest word he knew.
Tension is mounting here at the US Figure Skating Championship. In a moment, the men's short program event will commence and it will be interesting to see who will come on top. Then we will find out in two days time who will be the champion. The scores from the short program will factor into the total score so even though the skaters won't win the event with their performance here, they need to do well if they want to win. The competition is steep, especially since the USA only has two places in the World Championship this year. The obvious frontrunner is Kurt Hummel, reigning National Champion who won the Grand Prix final only last month, but his catastrophic performance at the Winter Olympics a year ago can't be forgotten. Hummel is known to break under stress and there are new heirs apparent to the throne of National Champion. Blaine Anderson is certainly the sputnik this season. His first senior season, a new skating club, which incidentally is McKinley where Kurt is also training, and he had a gold and a silver at his Grand Prix events and then came in fourth in the Grand Prix Final. We can expect great things from this young man. He's the only skater here who has two quads in his arsenal.
So if Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson skate well, they should be number one and two and be the ones to represent USA at Worlds in China in March, though let's not discount skaters like Sebastian Smythe, who may lack international experience and credentials, but cleaned up the competition at Sectionals and Regionals.
Whatever will happen, we can be sure to be in for an exciting event.
So Blaine's landing of his quad toe ended up a little double-footed. Still, he wasn't too disappointed with his score. He was second after Kurt who had skated so well. That short program routine of his might actually become one of those celebrated routines that would set a gold standard. Blaine hadn't told Kurt that in so many words, mostly because it wasn't up to him alone but he just knew.
Though there was the fact that even though Kurt and Blaine were first and second, Sebastian was third and had what could be called a fighting chance of winning either the gold or the silver. Blaine just had to hope that Kurt would skate his long as beautifully as he'd been skating it and that he himself would land his quad flip properly, and of course skate the rest well.
Standing rink side, waiting for all the other skaters to finish their stuff, was always nerve-wracking but right now, the tension was almost too much for Blaine. He was skating second to last and then Kurt would skate last.
They waited rink side while Sebastian skated. Blaine didn't want to look and he would have preferred not hear the crowd, the music, or the sounds of Sebastian's skates hitting the ice. He tried his best to focus and keep his head in the game. Kurt was standing close and he was acutely aware of his presence but they didn't speak.
Then Sebastian finished his free skate and left the ice and it was time for Blaine to go out and warm up while they were calculating Sebastian's score. As he stood in the gate, taking his guards off, Kurt walked up to him, reached out and squeezed his hand. He didn't say anything, he didn't have to, Blaine knew what he meant.
He skated around the ice for a few minutes, warming up, as a group of little kids skated around him to pick up the flowers and the tchotchkes that the audience had thrown onto the ice.
Then there was time for him to get in position. He breathed in, his music started and he skated.
Some five odd minutes later, when he found himself in the kiss-and-cry, it almost felt like he didn't know where he'd landed. He had skated, that much he knew. He had landed all his jumps fine, he had executed all his spins, transitions and moves, so he couldn't have done too badly, but again he had no concept of how it would translate into a score. He just sat there and listened to the roar of the audience. Schuester was sitting next to him and saying something but Blaine couldn't hear because all he could hear was the chanting of the crowd as they cheered Kurt on while he was warming up on the ice. That chant of Kurt's name felt familiar to him, like it was his own heartbeat.
Blaine's score came, placing him above Sebastian, which was good, but now Kurt had to do his thing. There were screens in the holding area Blaine had been ushered into after getting his scores but he couldn't look. Kurt would probably do fabulously but on the odd chance he didn’t, Blaine knew he wouldn't be able to stand it. Sebastian was there as well, looking not too happy about being scored lower than Blaine. Not that Blaine registered his presence there: all he could think of was Kurt and that Kurt would do well on the ice.
Those had to be the longest five minutes of Blaine's life but the loud roar that erupted the moment Kurt should have finished his program gave him hope. Sebastian, on the other hand, looked even more sour, like he had just tasted the world's most bitter lemon.
It didn't feel horrible to be looking up at the monitor showing where Kurt was sitting in the kiss-and-cry with Coach Sue. Blaine could happily focus on Kurt's beautiful face, especially since he looked rather happy with his own performance.
As it turned out, Kurt had every right to be happy because he’d managed to score his season’s best and hold onto his National title. Blaine just about managed not to jump with joy when the score was announced, but he was allowed to look a little pleased, seeing how he had won the silver.
When Kurt came through as they were preparing the ice for the medal ceremony, Blaine couldn't help but go and give him a hug. It wasn't so unusual for competitors to congratulate each other. No one would take much note of it.
"So me and you and Worlds, huh?" Kurt said, in a low voice, when they let go off each other.
"Looks like it."
"So I have Kurt Hummel here with me, the newly crowned National Figure Skating Champion for the second time. How does it feel to have your second National title?"
[The camera cut to Kurt, wearing his gold medal.] "It feels great. I've been training hard and focusing so this is certainly a great pay-off for all the hard work."
"Do you feel you've redeemed yourself for what happened at the Olympics?"
[A grimace passed over Kurt's face before he answered.] "I don't know if I think of it as redemption. I'm reaping now what I've sowed. That is really all I can say. Sure, we can all agree that I didn't handle the pressure at the Olympics but I think I'm in a much better mental state now than I was at the Olympics."
"And why are you in this better state of mind?"
[Kurt inhaled, looking like he was steeling himself for something.] "I was more honest with myself, I put more of myself into my programs and mostly I didn't allow the expectations of others to hinder me."
"So what is so much more personal in your programs?"
"Well, a lot of things. My long program is very much about my love for the sport. The short is perhaps more of a statement."
"Oh, a statement? Of what, then?"
"My sexuality. I'm gay, I've never said it out loud publicly until now, but I doubt that anyone is surprised."
[Kurt paused but the interviewer didn't seem to have a reply or a question ready so Kurt went on.]
"I mean, I've been discouraged from being myself, told that I was too girly or too something else. No one has ever said that I was too gay but I guess that was always implied and I hate it. I hate being pressured to hide who I am, having to pretend that I'm this sexless being who isn't allowed to desire. Skating is about passion. In both pairs and ice dancing, the subject of the programs is often sexual desire and sometimes this echoes in the singles as well. However, it's always about the desire between a man and a woman but that doesn't speak so much to me as a gay man. I want to be able to give an interpretation in my skate of my desires and wanting."
The day had already been long and eventful but they still had the gala left. Blaine did envy the skaters from the other disciplines who got to rest at least a day before the gala. Yet he wasn't tired, he just wanted some quiet time, preferably cuddling with Kurt. He was pretty sure that Kurt felt the same, especially in light of the fact that he had just come out on national television and then had to speak to the other media that were there. Apparently, a lot of the news stations, magazines and websites that hadn’t been at the event were calling now, but between Coach Sue, Kurt's publicists and his dad, those were being taken care of. Kurt would probably have to give some interviews in the near future but Blaine was glad he didn't have to do anymore today.
Blaine was skating to 'All Of Me' again. Going on the epiphany he’d had when he skated it in Japan, he wanted to add one move, a homage to Kurt. Maybe he had originally wanted the routine to be about his love of skating, but now, even just thinking about it, all he could feel was Kurt. It should have scared him that his feelings for Kurt were this intense but somehow they filled him with certainty.
So when he slid into Kurt's signature move, that backwards bend with one leg extended in front of him, the only thought filling his mind was I love you, Kurt Hummel.
Part 3
Maybe that was why he skated through his short program with hardly any thought other than what came next in his routine. His head went from the quad toe - triple loop combination to the triple axel and the spin combination and then the triple flip with the transitions to the circular step sequence and the flying spin to the sit spin at the end. He found himself after the two minutes and fifty seconds, standing in the middle of the ice, quite dazed. All he knew was that he hadn't fallen down on any element or missed any, but whether his quad had been fully rotated or not or if he'd landed the lutz on the right edge, he was not sure. Normally he kind of knew whether he'd managed to get all the elements properly.
The score wasn't too bad, 83.75. It was his season's best and he couldn't really ask for more.
Now all he had to do was to wait and see how the skaters after him would fare, including Kurt.
Seeing a routine in competition was always so different from seeing them in another setting, so when the first notes of Muse's 'Undisclosed Desires' sounded over the ice and Kurt moved from his starting pose, Blaine almost held his breath. The opening quad toe was a thing of beauty and every element was precise and elegant. He even made his sit spin in the shoot-the-duck position look graceful but it was the straight-line step-sequence that was the star of the program. It obviously was what Blaine had seen Kurt be practicing when he first arrived at McKinley. Full of tango-like steps, almost like he was tangoing with someone. He would sway back like someone was leading him in the tango and then take strong step forward like he was leading. As he struck the final pose, it dawned on Blaine what that program was about. It wasn't an excuse to skate to a favorite song like most of the skaters had done now they were able to pick music with vocals.
Kurt was airing his frustration of not speaking up about his sexuality in his routine. Hell, Kurt was calling out the figure skating world for being so heteronormative in his routine. That was how Blaine was seeing it and he didn't want to see it any other way. Standing underneath the stands, watching one of the screens there, he wanted to shout 'hell yeah!'
His elation over Kurt's program hadn't diminished as he watched Kurt in the kiss-and-cry. He seemed composed but visibly tired, perspiration shining on his forehead. He whipped it off with a tissue and whispered something to Coach Schuester who sat next to him.
Blaine knew that Kurt's score had to be higher than his, if only for the technical content. His spins were definitely all a level four, not to mention the intricacy of the transitions and the moves-in-the-field. The uncertainty factor was the Program Components. Maybe they would reward Kurt for his superior skating skills but maybe they wouldn't appreciate what Kurt was telling them.
So 86.25 wasn't exactly the score Blaine had thought he would see for Kurt. Sure, it was higher than his but a part of the judges were most likely offended and were dragging Kurt's average down.
At dinner, back at the hotel, Kurt was a little subdued. Blaine didn't bring anything up there as he wasn't sure what Kurt was ready divulge in front of their coaches.
Kurt wanted to go to bed early and Blaine followed him, claiming he wanted to retire early as well. He didn't say anything as he entered the elevator with Kurt, but as Kurt's room wasn't on the same floor as Blaine's he exited the elevator with Kurt and said:
"Can we talk?"
"Yeah, sure," Kurt replied.
"I just... your short program... it was... it was everything." Blaine wanted to take Kurt's hand but didn't because Kurt looked a little taken aback.
"Okay... but you have seen me skate this so often."
"Never in competition. I purposely don't watch any of the Grand Prix series until it's over, you know? But I was thinking more of how you skated this, being true to you. Just not giving a fuck, excuse my language, about whether the judges would be clutching their pearls or not. Being the best skater you can be and just putting your heart out on the ice."
Kurt smiled at Blaine's enthusiasm, the sort of smile that reached his eyes, making the corners crinkle in a manner that Blaine couldn't describe as anything other than cute.
"Thank you. It means a lot coming from you."
"You think you'll be as grateful tomorrow if I beat you in the free?" Blaine couldn't help but add in a playful tone.
"Ho ho, which one of us has won the Final before?"
"I got two quads, you don't."
"Shut your mouth, Anderson!" Kurt said in mock rage, sneakily extending his arm to tickle Blaine.
"Oh, it's on!" Blaine shouted before retaliating.
The free went by in a blur but Blaine was a little surer on how he'd done when he left the ice after this routine than he’d been after the short. He’d double-footed his landing on the quad flip and gone with a double toe in the combination after his triple salchow, instead of a triple toe. He had been the third to skate and his score got him to first place but it was likely that the three skaters after him would score higher than him, including Kurt.
Again he waited under the stands to watch Kurt skate. His long program felt more internal than the short. It showcased all of Kurt's strengths as a skater, his athleticism and his artistry and he looked a vision in his mostly black costume that emphasized his long lines. The music was clearly expressed in every movement but it did feel like he was watching a private moment.
When it came to the scoring, the judges seemed to feel a little more favorable towards Kurt, awarding him with 193.34 points which got him the gold medal.
And at that point Blaine realized he'd been caring more about Kurt getting the gold than about his own scores.
The realization of caring more about Kurt doing well than himself doing well was still with Blaine a couple of days later when they were rehearsing for the final gala, though at least it hadn't driven him into an existential crisis over whether he had lost his competitive edge. He had never had high hopes of medaling at the Grand Prix Final as he had benefitted from not having so steep a competition at the Grand Prix competitions he had been assigned to.
No, this realization was about something deep that had more to do with him and Kurt personally, rather than their skating.
Blaine was pretty certain he knew what it was and that made his stomach tingle. Not in an unpleasant way but it did make him a little uneasy. What the sort of a guy fell for his training mate and competitor? It almost felt like a cliché from a romantic comedy. It was one thing to think Kurt was hot and rather ridiculously pretty but having feelings for him was a whole different beast.
He had packed the shorts and the neon-colored polo that was his costume for the 'Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go' number but he also had a pair of slacks, a white dress shirt and a tailored jacket that he could wear, should he instead skate to 'All Of Me'. He had gotten together with Brittany twice to figure out a routine. They hadn't really nailed it down yet, but at the moment, what was bubbling inside of him wanted him to skate to 'All Of Me'. He would get no emotional release skating to 'Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go' but half-assed routine or not, 'All Of Me' was more likely to enable him to emote on the ice.
Competition galas didn't really offer much when it came to the group numbers, mostly because they were usually held a few hours after the last competition was held. This time around, they were supposed to skate around the ice in a row and then form circles around the gold medalists who were supposed to do their thing for a bit and that was it. It wasn't terribly hard but people still had to learn where their place was and get the time at least half way right.
Blaine left the decision about his routine until the last minute when he had to hand over the music he was skating to. Heading into the changing rooms, he saw Kurt was already there, in front of a mirror applying make-up. He was dressed in a tailsuit waistcoat and pants which were very normal looking. One leg was the traditional black but the other was white. Then Kurt turned from the mirror and Blaine could see his face better. A half of his face had full make-up on, eyeshadow, eyebrows done, blush, everything and on the other half of his face was painted a thin black mustache on his upper lip. It looked really cool and Blaine was very intrigued to see what the routine would look like. Kurt was obviously not in full costume yet, the tailsuit jacket was missing.
Seeing how he'd been fourth, he was amongst the first out on the ice. Those who didn't medal at the Grand Prix final didn't always get to skate in the gala but this time around, all the competitors in fourth place had been invited.
Slicking his hair back and trying to tame his unruly curls, he looked in the mirror. He wasn't displeased with what he saw. The white shirt was tucked in, the jacket was buttoned. He was ready to skate to some John Legend.
He and Brittany had choreographed some moves. In this program he jumped around much less than he had done in his old show routine. There was more interpretation, more using his face other than putting on a big smile, and way more connecting to the lyrics.
When he initially thought of the song he had been thinking about it being about skating but it wasn't the sport of figure skating he was thinking of when he moved his body around, trying to make the words come alive.
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
As much as that applied to the sport, all he could see in his mind's eye was Kurt. Kurt on the ice, Kurt being brave, Kurt in all his glory.
The emotional connection felt hard, like everyone in the audience could sense his thoughts and feelings but at the same time, it was freeing, like everything he liked to stash inside was flying free over the ice. It had been so long since he had felt that free on the ice, like he was flying and he could hear that the audience liked it. They always cheered for him before but they seemed to know that they were seeing something special. Blaine Anderson coming into his own.
When the routine was over along with the applause, he stepped off the ice and went backstage where he was met by Kurt who was wearing a wry smile on his face.
"That was something. I didn't know you had changed your routine."
Blaine was going to reply but the words caught in his throat as he took in the vision that was Kurt in his full costume. His hair slicked back, half his face made up like a woman and half made up like a man and the tailsuit, now complete with a jacket that was half traditional black and half white and sequenced with this long fringe hanging from the sleeve. He looked like the world's most enticing dichotomy.
It turned out he was skating to 'Le Jazz Hot' from Victor/Victoria. That explained the fringe on the sleeve and it was obvious that the theme of the routine was inspired by the movie, a bit of gender-bending, and so of course he included moves that were more common to see a female skater do.
And again Blaine was struck by how brave Kurt really was.
Afterward, Blaine didn't really get a chance to catch up with Kurt. There were costumes to take off, sweat to shower off and then a gala dinner to prepare for.
It was held at the hotel they were staying at. A great feast, with mostly Japanese food but also some things Blaine was a little more used to, though he found most of the Japanese food rather delicious.
These occasions were usually a happy fare where the skaters were dressed in their finest and less pre-occupied with competing against each other than usual. Blaine was seated with a Chinese pair and a Russian female skater and they had a lot to talk about. As the evening went on and the dinner was over, Blaine mingled a little more until he found himself at the table where Kurt was sitting.
"Hey, you," he said, looking at Kurt who was looking extra handsome in a printed jacket, dark pants and a blue tie.
Kurt smiled and pulled out the chair next to him for Blaine to sit on.
"Hey yourself."
"I know I've already congratulated you on the gold but I kind of want to congratulate you again."
"Thank you, again. I, on the other hand, want to tell you how much I liked your exhibition routine. It was a change for you, I must say."
"Yeah, it was. Let's just say that people were encouraging me to be more emotive in my routines and that I was inspired." Blaine turned his head; it felt hard to look directly at Kurt.
"Oh, what inspired you?" The question was honest enough but giving Kurt the truest answer wasn't something Blaine was prepared to do.
"Uhm, just figure skating in general and... someone I like."
"Oh," Kurt said, looking down and then back at Blaine, his voice trembling ever so slightly. "Lucky them."
They weren't sitting alone at the table but the other people sitting there were deeply engaged in a conversation, talking in rapid French. And now it was apparently time for Blaine to be brave and probably stupid. Most definitely stupid because this had the potential to go so very wrong but he couldn't stand to even think of hurting Kurt and right now he was looking a little hurt, his eyes sad and his lovely lips were curving downwards.
"It's you," Blaine dared to breathe. Kurt's eyes widened and his face froze, then he furrowed his brows.
"Don't make fun of me," he said, his voice sounding fragile, yet rough, obviously so close to breaking.
"I'm not, really, I'm not." Blaine felt panicked and all he could think of to do before Kurt could burst into tears or worse, punch him, was to take his hand and pull him up with him to drag him somewhere private. Kurt didn't struggle but he kept silent as Blaine pushed them between the tables and through the people standing around, until they had left the banquet hall where the gala dinner was being held and found themselves in a deserted hallway.
"What's going on?" Kurt asked when they stopped and were sure that no one would be listening to them.
"There's nothing going on, Kurt. I'm telling the truth here. I like you. It's probably very foolish of me to fall for you, since you’re my training mate and my competitor and maybe this will fuck everything up but... I can't lie to you and pretend that I wasn't thinking of you when I was skating earlier." Blaine felt breathless, even though he hadn't been during his skate, his stomach was a tingling mess and he wasn't sure whether he wanted to cry, laugh or vomit.
Kurt stood there for a minute, his face unreadable, as stony as it had ever been, but then he took a step forward, so he was standing face to face with Blaine. The next thing Blaine knew were Kurt's hands cradling his face and he was kissing him. Kurt's lips felt soft and the kiss tender. All coherent thought drained away from Blaine and all he could do, all he wanted to do, was to grab onto the lapels of Kurt's jacket and kiss him back.
It wasn't Blaine's first kiss but it was the first time he was kissing someone he truly liked, loved, even though he hadn't given any words to the particular feeling, not even inside his own head. It did feel like a first kiss, like all the other kisses he'd had were pale imitations.
After an undetermined time period - time had pretty much stopped existing in Blaine's mind - Kurt pulled away, and there was a flicker in his eyes, something that looked too much like uncertainty for Blaine's taste.
"I... I don't know what came over me," Kurt whispered, clenching his hands at his sides like he wanted to apologize. Blaine reached out for Kurt's hand and touched it in what he hoped was a reassuring manner.
"Don't... I like it. I... I would like to kiss you again." With that, Blaine was the one who reached to touch Kurt's face and then to kiss him. He didn't want to spook Kurt, who seemed jittery enough already, but he couldn't help but open his mouth a little to deepen the kiss and was rewarded with Kurt deepening the kiss even more, his tongue lapping at Blaine's lips.
When they broke the kiss, Blaine found himself slightly winded and his heart beating inside his chest like he'd just finished a short program at least.
"Well," Kurt said, the nervousness dissipating from his features, replaced by mischief glinting in his eyes and a playful smile on his lips, "that was something. I kind of don't want to stop but... " He stopped mid-sentence and looked away, coyly.
What he'd left unsaid wasn't lost on Blaine. More kissing and it would turn too heated, too much, too soon.
"Yeah," Blaine said, "but can I kiss you some other time? Can I take you out when we’re back home?"
"Oh, you better, Anderson," Kurt said, shaking his fist in a mock rage. "Or I'll kick your ass wearing my skates."
Blaine had never taken anyone out on a date before. He had known it might be nerve-wracking but he hadn't anticipated the sweaty palms and the nausea. It wasn't like it was a blind date or anything like that: he knew Kurt, he knew kissing Kurt was beyond awesome. It shouldn't be this hard. They had agreed to go and see a movie and then have something to eat. Their schedule didn't allow for much dallying. Nationals were in a month and that was probably going to be a tougher competition, as not only would they be competing for the National title but also the two spots that were open for the World Championships.
Kurt came to pick him up, since between the two of them, he was the one who had a car. Blaine lived close enough to the ice rink to walk there. It wasn't that much farther off to where Kurt lived but he said he liked having a car and the freedom that came with it. It was also possible that the fact Kurt's father was an auto-mechanic might have something to do with Kurt having a car.
The movie was entertaining enough but somewhere in the middle of it, Kurt reached over to Blaine and took his hand. It was an innocent enough gesture but Blaine was unable to follow the rest of the movie.
Seeing how they were in the middle of their competitive season, they went somewhere where they could have something relatively healthy. Kurt ended up with a grilled chicken breast while Blaine ate some spicy shrimp salad. They kept up an idle conversation to begin with; discussing skating gossip and trading stories about other skaters.
"I try my best to see the best in people," Kurt said, stabbing a cherry tomato on his plate with a fork. "But I can't stand Jean-Baptiste."
The Jean-Baptiste in question was the reigning Olympic champion in Men's Figure Skating. The Canadian Quad Machine he was called in the press. There were always murmurs amongst the other skaters that the judges were perhaps a little too favorable towards Jean-Baptiste. Blaine had never competed against him, he’d hardly even met the guy. Jean-Baptiste had skipped out on the Grand Prix series this season, something that only an injured skater or an Olympic champion could really do, but he was bound to try and win his fourth consecutive World title the coming spring.
Kurt, on the other hand, was more closely acquainted with Jean-Baptiste.
"I mean, he had always been full of himself, known exactly how good he is and all that. I'm used to that. I mean, I've shared ice with Rachel Berry for years. But god, those few days I had to stick around after the men's event at the Olympics. Basically he stopped just short of literally rubbing his gold medal in my face. Don't you remember his interviews afterward? 'Oh, as we clearly saw during my event, the Olympics are only for those who can withstand the pressure. Honestly, I think some of my competitors should probably think twice about retirement. They just aren't skating on the same level as us medalists...' Ugh, I could puke."
Blaine had witnessed those interviews but hadn't really made the connection that he had been talking about those skaters who had been considered medal contenders before the Olympics, like Kurt. And now he didn't care for Jean-Baptiste one bit.
Thankfully the conversation segued into something more pleasant than rival skaters. They talked about music, movies and what they wanted to do when their competitive careers were over.
"I think I might like to go into fashion," Kurt said. "I've even wondered if I should start taking some classes but I think I need to keep my mind on one subject, not be all over the place."
Blaine nodded. He hadn't really decided. He had his high school diploma, not much of it earned by attending classes. Of course he had given thought to attending college but when he wasn't sure what he wanted to do with his life, he wasn't going to waste time on that. He could see himself as a coach, maybe not an elite coach like Sue and Schuester, he'd rather work with kids.
After the date, Kurt drove Blaine home. He’d intended to give Kurt a quick good night kiss but his good intentions didn't really have much sway over his hormones when Kurt pulled him closer, as close as they could be, reaching each other between the seats in the front of the car, over the transmission. It was all still so new between them and Blaine felt his inexperience keenly but he couldn't stop. How could someone's mouth be so wonderful?
They finally ended the kiss, maybe because the position they were in started to become very uncomfortable. Kurt's face was flushed and his eyes were shining and Blaine was sure he looked pretty much the same. They stared at each other for a moment, a secret little smile on Kurt's lips that Blaine was sure he was mirroring.
"Why can't I be kissing you always?" Kurt said, a sigh in his voice.
"Hhm, not sure. I know I wouldn't mind it at all."
They broke out in giggles and Blaine had to fight a strong urge to reach back over to the driver's seat to kiss Kurt some more.
"Okay, next time...?" Kurt looked over at Blaine who was quick to nod enthusiastically. "I think we should be somewhere we can make out. Wanna come over to my place tomorrow and watch a movie?" The way he said 'watch a movie' sounded like the most suggestive thing in the world to Blaine. Kurt's plan had to be the best plan in the world.
The days that were left before Christmas went by very quickly. Hours upon hours of skating every day for both Kurt and Blaine and then movie and TV watching in the evening that usually turned quickly into make-out sessions. They were still rather respectful of each other, hardly venturing with their hands south of the equator.
"So, what are you doing for Christmas?" Kurt asked Blaine a few days before Christmas, as they were leaving the ice rink after a training session. Blaine didn't really have any plans. His parents were spending time with his brother in Colorado and due to his training, Blaine couldn't take the time to meet them there. Sam was going to see his family so Blaine had vague plans about watching movies and training.
"Nothing, except you know, hit the ice."
"Oh, not meeting your family?"
"No," Blaine said. "They have to divide the attention between me and Cooper and Cooper is currently working in Colorado and it's kind of far to go and meet them there."
"Uhm, my Dad is coming to visit me. I was wondering, you can join us on Christmas Eve. I mean, no need for you to be alone. I'd love to have you." Kurt turned towards Blaine, adjusting the scarf Blaine was wearing.
"I'd love to."
He had seen Burt Hummel before, from a distance at Nationals last year, and of course, a shot of him teary-eyed in the stands after Kurt's disastrous free skate at the Olympics had made it to the sports pages of newspapers around the world. The man in the flesh wasn't the stereotypical skating parent, obsessed with the minutest details of their child's training, appearance and so on. He was a laid-back guy who kind of fitted that Joe Plumber stereotype, just without the Republican rhetoric.
"I think I remember you, kid," Burt said when Kurt introduced Blaine to him. "What was that program you did at Nationals for the long? West Side Story, right? Looking very much the part of Tony there in your jacket."
Blaine nodded. He had liked his long program last year but he equally loved his long this year, though he had shied away from using lyrics even if he could. Maybe next year - and maybe next year he might venture outside of his musical comfort zone.
"You know, I think Kurt here might have talked a little bit about you then. I don't know why." Burt had just the same sort of wry smile as Kurt tended to have. Kurt was definitely not sporting one now, his cheeks were bright pink and under his breath he said "Dad!" in a chastising tone.
Hanging out with the Hummels on Christmas Eve ended up being one of the nicest Christmases Blaine had ever had, or at least since he stopped believing in Santa Claus. He and Kurt had agreed not to exchange gifts since they didn't really have any time to go shopping except for groceries.
Kurt invited Blaine over on Christmas Day after Burt had left. They ate the leftovers of the Christmas lunch Kurt had made earlier that day and then they’d intended to watch 'White Christmas' but never got so far as to put the DVD into the player.
It began like most of their make-out sessions, where they slowly moved into a horizontal position on Kurt's couch (sometimes it was Blaine's couch), but this time around shirts were being pulled up and hands touching skin they hadn't previously touched.
Blaine was in actual awe of how soft Kurt's skin felt underneath his shirt, all smooth and lovely and Kurt seemed like touching Blaine back, so much that he pushed himself up, straddling Blaine's leg and asked:
"Can we... you know... take our shirts off?"
At that moment, Blaine felt like that was the best request in the universe and when Kurt took off his shirt, Blaine knew it was the best request in the world. He had seen Kurt shirtless plenty of times but to feel his skin against his, that didn't compare.
After just a few minutes of exploring hands, Blaine could feel himself grow hard. It wasn't the first time it happened while they were making out, but now that they had gone one step further he wasn't really sure what they should do. If they didn’t stop now, Kurt was bound to notice and Blaine didn't want to push him or make him feel pressured. A part of him wanted to allow things to go further, see what happened, wanted them to explore each other completely, but this was still so new for them both and it was fragile.
So he tried to shift and move away but Kurt always followed his movements, always pulling him closer when Blaine tried to maneuver his hips away. It kept getting harder and harder for Blaine to conceal his hard-on.
"Kurt," he whispered when Kurt was holding him by the waist, clutching him.
"Please," murmured Kurt and shifted just a little and then Blaine discovered that he wasn't the only one who had gotten hard. Kurt's erection was pressed to his thigh and Blaine could feel his mouth dry up. He wanted to believe that he was more in control of himself than he was, but he couldn't help but push into Kurt, slotting his thigh better between Kurt's legs and just moving, rubbing against him, feeling the friction, feeling the tension build. Kurt was making these little noises like his breath was hitching with every move and Blaine couldn't help but bury his face in the crook of Kurt's neck, feeling the urgency in every bit of his body. For a moment, everything in him felt so much like it did when he was in the air, doing a jump on the ice, the coiled tension of his body in motion before slamming into the hard ice.
Then he came, his body growing taut and his vision whiting out. It was intense and he was probably holding Kurt way too tight but he had to hold him, otherwise it felt like he would drift away. Kurt wasn't far behind him; his climax came with a squeaky sort of a moan that Blaine would find adorable if his brain hadn't just been fried.
When their breathing had evened out, Blaine pushed himself off Kurt.
“I’m… we are doing more and... shouldn't we talk before we go any further?"
Kurt didn't answer right away and started busying himself with cleaning them up. Then he sighed.
"We should. And I know... I want to try it all, frotting, well, I suppose we did that just now, but there's naked frottage, blowjobs, anal. But don't feel like I'm pushing you. I can wait and if you never want to do it, then it's fine by me. I mean, we should both be comfortable."
"Yeah," Blaine breathed. "I don't want you to feel pressured or anything and yeah, I like that you want to wait for me as well."
The thing about waiting is that it usually means that there is something that can't happen right away because there are certain impediments in place.
Both Kurt and Blaine wanted more. Those first mutual orgasms had opened up a floodgate. When they weren't on the ice, and they were there a lot since Nationals were just around the corner, they were in each other's beds, hands and mouths exploring.
On New Year's Eve they left a party at Elliott's early, before they could end up actually doing something in front of their friends and training mates that they probably wouldn't want to see.
So they found themselves on Kurt's bed.
"How do you want to celebrate the New Year?" Blaine said, leaning on his arm, looking at Kurt.
"I don't know, maybe with your mouth."
Blaine laughed. It did feel a bit ridiculous to talk about their desires but they tried not to be too self-conscious about it. After all, both of them performed in front of thousands of people, literally risking their asses doing so.
"I think I might be able to fulfill your request," Blaine said, before getting up on his hands and knees and lifting himself over Kurt's body.
He loved the wiry leanness of the body underneath him. Those few inches that Kurt had on him in height made so much difference in their build. Every line on Kurt's body looked impossibly long while he himself was compact and solid.
Peppering the skin of the body underneath him with kisses, he moved further down. He kissed down Kurt's sternum, his flat and hard stomach, that lovely fold of muscle over his hipbones. Kurt was making these impatient grunts and Blaine knew why. He had learned quickly enough that Kurt had many sensitive spots on his body, making it so easy to really turn him on.
"Blaine, please."
As nice it could be to hear Kurt beg, Blaine didn't want to make him suffer and the suffering could be ended by him having his mouth on Kurt's cock.
This was Blaine's second attempt at a blowjob. The first one had been successful in that Kurt came in under a minute, but unsuccessful in that most of his come got into Blaine's eyes.
This time he was hoping it would last a bit longer because he really liked giving one. Maybe that was because it was Kurt who was receiving or maybe he liked it in general, not that he intended to bestow blowjobs on other guys in the near future or anything. The feel of Kurt hard in his mouth was one of the best things he'd ever experienced and he loved how every lick, every movement of his tongue and mouth elicited a reaction from Kurt, whether it was a moan or the trembling of his body. And this time around Kurt managed to double the time he could withstand the pleasure that Blaine was giving him. This time Blaine was careful not to pull off when Kurt climaxed, it was hard to swallow but he managed.
"Wow," Kurt said, sounding absolutely done when Blaine moved to lie besides him. "I seriously get why people are so obsessed with sex."
"Mmm," was the best reply Blaine could muster. He hadn't come yet but he was so close after giving Kurt head.
"Oh, poor baby, we need to do something about this," Kurt said, noticing Blaine's predicament.
Kurt's solution to the problem at hand was to push Blaine to his back and make him spread his legs before taking his dick in his hand, stroking him slowly while rubbing spit-wet fingers over Blaine's perineum. It was like Kurt had found a magic button. Blaine had done plenty of self-exploring in that area of his body but feeling Kurt's fingers there was a whole different story.
So different that Kurt didn't get that much chance to move his fingers further before Blaine was coming hard over Kurt's hand and over his own stomach.
"Okay," Kurt said laughing.
Blaine kind of wanted to apologize but the neurotransmitters in his brain were rather overloaded at the moment.
Soon enough, he found his way back to earth, back to Kurt who was lying besides him, smiling while trying to mop up most of the come with a tissue.
"Our stamina might need some work," he said. Blaine turned to face him more.
"Oh, I suppose we can work on that together."
"That's going to be one project I’ll very much look forward to." Kurt said, before pulling Blaine into a kiss.
Only three weeks after the New Year, Blaine and Kurt were to compete in The U.S. Figure Skating Championships or Nationals like the Championships were usually referred to, and the training was definitely picking up a notch. Every evening they dragged themselves exhausted from the skating rink, too tired for anything more than a goodbye kiss.
"You know, I think we should room together at Nationals," Kurt suggested a week before they were to leave. Blaine looked at him; they were in the locker room, alone thankfully, after a rather rigorous training session where Coach Sue had not seen any reason to spare them.
"I know what you’re thinking, we have other things to think about than, you know, sex, but I kind of want you with me, whether we are going to celebrate or you know, cry over our losses. I think we'll manage to keep our hands off each other until after the long program, right?"
"I think so," Blaine said.
"Good," Kurt said, the smile on his face a little shy. "There's another thing I want to talk to you about. 'Cause it does concern you."
"Okay?"
"I'm... If I manage to hold on to my Nationals title, let's pretend for a moment that you aren't a serious threat to that, I want to come out. I mean, I want to come out publicly. I know it's the biggest cliché in the world... I suppose I should have before the Olympics but I wasn't sure enough of myself, but this year, and you, have made me stronger and I want to do this, let everyone know."
Blaine just stared. There was nothing he wanted more than for the whole world to see just how brave Kurt was. But if Kurt was to out himself, then did that mean their relationship would become public as well?
Somehow Kurt must have read that concern on his face, realizing exactly what Blaine was thinking.
"I don't necessarily have to mention you, I just want to be out and put an end to all the veiled speculation, plus you know, giving the naysayers the finger."
Blaine snickered, even though he knew so well what Kurt meant.
"But I wasn't planning on mentioning us, I mean, not unless you want me to." Kurt looked at him and Blaine could see that Kurt was afraid he might be hurting him.
"I don't want to hide it, you know," Blaine said, "but this is so new between us. I think we need a little more time before we start telling the world. I don't know what time frame one should use but maybe we should try to finish out this season?"
Kurt nodded and reached over to take Blaine's hand.
"Thank you."
It did sound like Kurt had wanted to say something else that also ended in 'you'.
The media was a little less interested in the Nationals, those years when there were no Winter Olympics, and Blaine was kind of glad. There were a few sportscasters milling about with a handful of other journalists but for the most part, the publicity part of the experience was relatively hassle-free. Kurt had given a couple of interviews where they brought up the Olympics, but for the most part he'd been a trooper in answering those questions and being the Grand Prix champion did help him a lot.
No, the hassle wasn't coming from the media. The Nationals brought Blaine together with his former training mates at Dalton. Most of them were friendly and ready to congratulate him on his Grand Prix successes but then there was Sebastian.
It would have been too much to say that Sebastian had been Blaine's enemy or anything of that sort, but Sebastian's style of competing did involve psyching out the competition and during their time at Dalton together, they had been at odds.
Blaine had always tried his best to ignore Sebastian but his little quips could be hard to ignore.
Like when he and Kurt arrived to the first official training session. Those were always rather tedious since they were more for the benefit of the media and the few fans who bothered to show up so early. Normally not much was accomplished unless you were the sort of athlete who lived for psyching out the competition.
"Oh, isn't it Headcase Hummel and Average Anderson?" Sebastian was standing at the boards like he had been waiting for them.
Kurt didn't say anything, didn't even acknowledge Sebastian but skated onto the ice. Blaine, on the other hand, was probably fatally polite and felt he had to greet his former training mate even though he had just insulted him.
"Sebastian," he said, curtly.
"Aww, where's the love, Blaine? Or have you been learning the ways of the ice queen there?" Sebastian nicked his head in the direction of where Kurt was skating on the ice, looking like he wanted to land his triple axel on someone’s head.
"I see you haven't changed," Blaine said, getting ready to skate onto the ice and twirl around for the photographers present.
"That's where you're wrong. While you were wasting time on flying to the far corners of the World to compete at some competitions no one cares about, at least not the federation, I was training hard to get my quads under control. I want the gold, Anderson."
Blaine wanted to come up with a witty retort but he wasn't there to have Sebastian rile him up. So instead he skated onto the ice without a word. Sebastian was clearly annoyed with the fact that he couldn't get to Blaine with his words so he tried his best to interrupt Blaine's training session by skating too close to him and around him.
It was impossible to ignore him completely though Blaine tried his best, but the anger kept building inside of him. He knew in his heart he was a better skater than Sebastian and he knew that all this was just Sebastian knowing that and trying desperately to cover for that fact. Blaine wanted to show him that no matter how much time Sebastian would spend 'perfecting his quad', he didn't have a quad flip like him. He glided straight down the ice, held his right foot forward, turned and vaulted into the jump, rotating four times in the air before landing, correct edge and all.
What he couldn't see while in the air was Sebastian skating towards him, probably hoping that his being there would fib Blaine's landing. What happened instead was that Blaine's momentum after landing the jump had him crashing straight into Sebastian, causing them both to fall onto the ice.
The fall didn't hurt as much as it knocked the wind out of Blaine, so it took him a moment to get upright next to a huffing Sebastian. The collision and the fall had obviously drawn the attention of the other skaters who had stopped what they were doing, and Kurt came rushing towards them.
"Are you okay, Blaine?" he asked, a worrying tone clear in his voice as he reached out his hand for Blaine to take and get completely back on his feet.
"Yeah, yeah," said Blaine, he wasn't hurting but he needed to shake the fall off.
"Wait, wait." Sebastian looked between them. "Don't tell me. You two?" He looked absolutely incredulous.
"Sometimes people help each other," Kurt said, "it's called being a human being, Smythe." He managed to make Sebastian's last name sound like the filthiest word he knew.
Tension is mounting here at the US Figure Skating Championship. In a moment, the men's short program event will commence and it will be interesting to see who will come on top. Then we will find out in two days time who will be the champion. The scores from the short program will factor into the total score so even though the skaters won't win the event with their performance here, they need to do well if they want to win. The competition is steep, especially since the USA only has two places in the World Championship this year. The obvious frontrunner is Kurt Hummel, reigning National Champion who won the Grand Prix final only last month, but his catastrophic performance at the Winter Olympics a year ago can't be forgotten. Hummel is known to break under stress and there are new heirs apparent to the throne of National Champion. Blaine Anderson is certainly the sputnik this season. His first senior season, a new skating club, which incidentally is McKinley where Kurt is also training, and he had a gold and a silver at his Grand Prix events and then came in fourth in the Grand Prix Final. We can expect great things from this young man. He's the only skater here who has two quads in his arsenal.
So if Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson skate well, they should be number one and two and be the ones to represent USA at Worlds in China in March, though let's not discount skaters like Sebastian Smythe, who may lack international experience and credentials, but cleaned up the competition at Sectionals and Regionals.
Whatever will happen, we can be sure to be in for an exciting event.
So Blaine's landing of his quad toe ended up a little double-footed. Still, he wasn't too disappointed with his score. He was second after Kurt who had skated so well. That short program routine of his might actually become one of those celebrated routines that would set a gold standard. Blaine hadn't told Kurt that in so many words, mostly because it wasn't up to him alone but he just knew.
Though there was the fact that even though Kurt and Blaine were first and second, Sebastian was third and had what could be called a fighting chance of winning either the gold or the silver. Blaine just had to hope that Kurt would skate his long as beautifully as he'd been skating it and that he himself would land his quad flip properly, and of course skate the rest well.
Standing rink side, waiting for all the other skaters to finish their stuff, was always nerve-wracking but right now, the tension was almost too much for Blaine. He was skating second to last and then Kurt would skate last.
They waited rink side while Sebastian skated. Blaine didn't want to look and he would have preferred not hear the crowd, the music, or the sounds of Sebastian's skates hitting the ice. He tried his best to focus and keep his head in the game. Kurt was standing close and he was acutely aware of his presence but they didn't speak.
Then Sebastian finished his free skate and left the ice and it was time for Blaine to go out and warm up while they were calculating Sebastian's score. As he stood in the gate, taking his guards off, Kurt walked up to him, reached out and squeezed his hand. He didn't say anything, he didn't have to, Blaine knew what he meant.
He skated around the ice for a few minutes, warming up, as a group of little kids skated around him to pick up the flowers and the tchotchkes that the audience had thrown onto the ice.
Then there was time for him to get in position. He breathed in, his music started and he skated.
Some five odd minutes later, when he found himself in the kiss-and-cry, it almost felt like he didn't know where he'd landed. He had skated, that much he knew. He had landed all his jumps fine, he had executed all his spins, transitions and moves, so he couldn't have done too badly, but again he had no concept of how it would translate into a score. He just sat there and listened to the roar of the audience. Schuester was sitting next to him and saying something but Blaine couldn't hear because all he could hear was the chanting of the crowd as they cheered Kurt on while he was warming up on the ice. That chant of Kurt's name felt familiar to him, like it was his own heartbeat.
Blaine's score came, placing him above Sebastian, which was good, but now Kurt had to do his thing. There were screens in the holding area Blaine had been ushered into after getting his scores but he couldn't look. Kurt would probably do fabulously but on the odd chance he didn’t, Blaine knew he wouldn't be able to stand it. Sebastian was there as well, looking not too happy about being scored lower than Blaine. Not that Blaine registered his presence there: all he could think of was Kurt and that Kurt would do well on the ice.
Those had to be the longest five minutes of Blaine's life but the loud roar that erupted the moment Kurt should have finished his program gave him hope. Sebastian, on the other hand, looked even more sour, like he had just tasted the world's most bitter lemon.
It didn't feel horrible to be looking up at the monitor showing where Kurt was sitting in the kiss-and-cry with Coach Sue. Blaine could happily focus on Kurt's beautiful face, especially since he looked rather happy with his own performance.
As it turned out, Kurt had every right to be happy because he’d managed to score his season’s best and hold onto his National title. Blaine just about managed not to jump with joy when the score was announced, but he was allowed to look a little pleased, seeing how he had won the silver.
When Kurt came through as they were preparing the ice for the medal ceremony, Blaine couldn't help but go and give him a hug. It wasn't so unusual for competitors to congratulate each other. No one would take much note of it.
"So me and you and Worlds, huh?" Kurt said, in a low voice, when they let go off each other.
"Looks like it."
"So I have Kurt Hummel here with me, the newly crowned National Figure Skating Champion for the second time. How does it feel to have your second National title?"
[The camera cut to Kurt, wearing his gold medal.] "It feels great. I've been training hard and focusing so this is certainly a great pay-off for all the hard work."
"Do you feel you've redeemed yourself for what happened at the Olympics?"
[A grimace passed over Kurt's face before he answered.] "I don't know if I think of it as redemption. I'm reaping now what I've sowed. That is really all I can say. Sure, we can all agree that I didn't handle the pressure at the Olympics but I think I'm in a much better mental state now than I was at the Olympics."
"And why are you in this better state of mind?"
[Kurt inhaled, looking like he was steeling himself for something.] "I was more honest with myself, I put more of myself into my programs and mostly I didn't allow the expectations of others to hinder me."
"So what is so much more personal in your programs?"
"Well, a lot of things. My long program is very much about my love for the sport. The short is perhaps more of a statement."
"Oh, a statement? Of what, then?"
"My sexuality. I'm gay, I've never said it out loud publicly until now, but I doubt that anyone is surprised."
[Kurt paused but the interviewer didn't seem to have a reply or a question ready so Kurt went on.]
"I mean, I've been discouraged from being myself, told that I was too girly or too something else. No one has ever said that I was too gay but I guess that was always implied and I hate it. I hate being pressured to hide who I am, having to pretend that I'm this sexless being who isn't allowed to desire. Skating is about passion. In both pairs and ice dancing, the subject of the programs is often sexual desire and sometimes this echoes in the singles as well. However, it's always about the desire between a man and a woman but that doesn't speak so much to me as a gay man. I want to be able to give an interpretation in my skate of my desires and wanting."
The day had already been long and eventful but they still had the gala left. Blaine did envy the skaters from the other disciplines who got to rest at least a day before the gala. Yet he wasn't tired, he just wanted some quiet time, preferably cuddling with Kurt. He was pretty sure that Kurt felt the same, especially in light of the fact that he had just come out on national television and then had to speak to the other media that were there. Apparently, a lot of the news stations, magazines and websites that hadn’t been at the event were calling now, but between Coach Sue, Kurt's publicists and his dad, those were being taken care of. Kurt would probably have to give some interviews in the near future but Blaine was glad he didn't have to do anymore today.
Blaine was skating to 'All Of Me' again. Going on the epiphany he’d had when he skated it in Japan, he wanted to add one move, a homage to Kurt. Maybe he had originally wanted the routine to be about his love of skating, but now, even just thinking about it, all he could feel was Kurt. It should have scared him that his feelings for Kurt were this intense but somehow they filled him with certainty.
So when he slid into Kurt's signature move, that backwards bend with one leg extended in front of him, the only thought filling his mind was I love you, Kurt Hummel.
Part 3