I feel like I am slowly falling into depression or anxiety. And I keep reaching up for something to prevent me from falling... sometimes I grab things but then get pulled down again...but most of the time there is nothing to grasp.

And I get more anxious/depressed the further I go down which makes hope and the number of things to rescue me dwindle.

( Read more... )

To rise from error to truth is rare and beautiful.
-Victor Hugo

I actually never have given much thought to actually making and maintaining New Year's resolutions. But this year will be different.

1. Read more

2. Stop judging

3. Don't lose your inner dreamer

Awww. The parents of the kids I most frequently babysit sent me the sweetest homemade Christmas card. It made me cry.

It's one of those moments I realize that I am, in fact, an adult: when the things you cherish, appreciate, and want most in the world are things that can't be bought.

Those fleeting moments every day when you imagine and foresee your life being like a movie but even better. And all you can do is smile.

Magic.

'I want much more than this provincial life.
I want adventure in the great wide somewhere
I want it more than I can tell.
And for once it might be grand to have someone understand
I want so much more than they've got planned.'

-Belle's Reprise from "Beauty and the Beast"

...so it's really happening.

I'm officially going to Paris this summer.

My life is ( Read more... )

I write on real paper now.

Nick gets mad at me all the time and is always brooding everywhere. He's such the depressed writer-type. I have already experienced so much of people bringing me down with their sadness. I am done with expending so much energy to help others instead of making myself happy.

And I always wonder if I need someone who thinks life is as magical as I do ( Read more... )

I wish my life was a Terrence Malick movie.

"As with many of today's young directors, Agee's memory was crowded with memories not of life but of old films. For Agee, rain falling was not a memory of April at Exeter but a scene recalled from Eisenstein." -Gore Vidal, 1976