this was my worst mistake and my biggest regret.

i love you so much.
you are my best friend. were.
what the fuck was I thinking!
four months.
i want you back so bad. why wont you come back for me.

my heart hurts so bad.
what the fuck have i done?

today my heart hurts.

I miss you.

run: 2.7 miles
bike: 10 miles
sprint: 1 mile

Triathlon entails of:
run: 3 miles
bike: 13.1 miles
swim: 400 meters

my heart is absolutely breaking.

i have changed, hardened. i just dont care anymore.
and when i start to, you visit me and then i remember.

i am thinking of you always.

i'm so over this shit.

today is a bad day.
today is a really bad day.
come back home to me. please.
i need you here so bad.
i miss you.

The bad days rip my soul in two.

But the good days scare the shit out of me.

Come back. Please. I have always needed you. This isn't fair.
I don't know what to do anymore.

Always thinking of you.

it seems ridiculous, absurd, to think that i'm sitting here pulling an all-nighter writing some bullshit pointless essay, wrecking my brain to prepare for another pointless test tomorrow, and you're dead.

it's just so stupid.

what the fuck am i doing?

back to reality.

Come back!!!! You aren't allowed to do this!!!! No one EVER said it was okay...I NEVER SAID IT WAS OKAY!!!

what the fuck did you do you idiot?!?!?!

This isn't fair.
fuck you!
I love you.
Come back. please.

I cannot express the deep down, gut wrenching, soul ripping feeling gushing from my every inch of skin, ligament of muscle, white of my bones. Get me out of here.