Reita x Ruki : Bitter [part one/Rei's POV]
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[Reita’s/ Akira’s POV]
I still remember clearly when we first met, I’m four and you’re three that time. You just moved to Kanagawa, beside my house. I saw you peeking behind the roses bush, watching me and my friends playing. You looked scared-or shy-then I approached you, a little boy with milky skin and brown smooth hair. Your cheeks are so pink and chubby, and I knew, you’re nice.
“Hey, what are you doing there?” it was the first sentence I threw to your little frame. You sank more to the bush, looking to my barefoot.
“I’m just watchinn you play…” you said in a very low and cute voice. It kind of slurred, you seemed so little. That just gave the extra cuteness.
“Are you new ‘round here?” I know, my pronunciation is slurred too.
You nodded slowly, still hiding behind the bush “Um, come on join us, we are building a cassle with roks,” I’m not sure what I’m saying, but your eyes lighten, and nodded. Then I offered my dirty hand, but with no hesitation you grabbed mine. I didn’t ask your name first like people usually do. And we both know we will be friends forever.
I felt someone shaking my body. I’m still so sleepy. I groaned, didn’t even bother to open my sticky eyes. Last night I just finished my PS game. But the shaking didn’t stop either.
“Akii come on wake up! We have school today!” damn, it’s Taka.
“Urrh I’m sleepy, I’m going to skip todaaay…” I answered, turning to the side as I hugged my other pillow.
“Akii! We’re in the sixth grade now and we should study hard for junior high! We should graduate with a super nice score and enter the same nice school!” you whined. I listened; I will never miss any of your word. Even though my eyes are still shut.
“Taka… I’m not super smart like you so please, let me sleep,” I groaned again.
“Aki… please,” your voice seems really upset. My heart wrench… and this time I know I can’t fight your words… and your expression-I know how’s your face-, and you’re pleading voice… I sighed in frustration, then with all of my might I sat up, still eye closed but then I feel your soft hands hold my cheeks, and tapping it lightly.
“Open your eyes,” he demanded, but I know he’s holding his giggles. I know my hair is a total mess at mornings. I opened my eyes, amazingly it opened.
“Thank you, Aki, we should fight together! Forever!” he smiled; I returned it with a sleepy one, but with all of my heart. He offered his smaller pinky, we’ve promised. From that morning I learned too. We are something called a real best friend.
We study in a same school entire life. We are always together. And we gave each other nickname. The first time I called you Ruki and you called me Reita were when we were in junior high. We thought that our names were uncool, so we decided to make one. You said the name I give you is like a girl’s name, well don’t blame me, you’re so cute! But you always answered when I called you Ruki anyway.
I’m always there for you; even you’re not always here for me. I don’t mind, I can handle my problems myself, unlike you. You always come to me, when the school bullies got chance to pick you up. Then I promised you I’ll never leave your side. You always come to me, when you’re too confused to choose between green and blue, but you always pick green at the end. You always come to me, when your father slapped you because you’re being lazy. You always cried to me, when your mother didn’t let you play. I heard you, I always heard you. I don’t ask for payback. Because I know, behind your cocky and smart figure, you’re fragile inside. I’ve known you too long. I’ve studied you too long…
Senior high, I could graduate from junior high with better score than last year, but of course, you’re the best. We celebrate it with our family, went to a sushi restaurant and eat, laugh, and apologizing. I smiled when you and your parents said sorry to each other, you all hugged, we all hugged. Our parents are best friend too. But everybody in our district knows, there is no bond stronger than ours. We’ve been together forever, right?
In senior high, for the first time, we got our class separated. You’re in class A, the Einsteins are there. And me, I’m not too bad, I’m class C. Our classes are far, damn those whoever decided it. I hate it a lot. I hate you’re not here, I hate you’re not wiggle on my arms, I hate I can’t smell your shampoo, I hate your small figure not here, not completing me. Something is gone. I really hate it.
I tried to fix the vacancy. I study hard, that in the next year I could enter class A. With you again, forever again. But then I learned again… that even your best-best-best-best-best-best friend could change too. And that’s what happens to you. You’ve changed, a lot. You talked to me less, you eat lunch with those richy, you smiled at me less, you never sneak to my room again… you’ve leave me. Have you…?
I didn’t cry. But it didn’t mean I hate you, or I could survive without you. I cried inside, I cried behind my smiles, I cried behind my words, but then I cried in front of Uruha, “I missed him a lot… I can’t… I can’t forget him, but what can I do?” my closest friend-besides Ruki, rubbed my back.
“Oh come on, Rei, he won’t forget you, I believe, he can’t forget you too, you guys are already together forever, right? You know he’s childish, maybe he needs time, maybe he’s just a little bit bored, he needs new friends, just like you, now you need to get rid of yourself, buddy, come on! Wanna go somewhere to change like Ruki’s new crimson streaks too?”
I saw him looking at me a little longer than usual. If he changed, I could too. I walked passing him, looking forward, now this time is my chance to ignore him in a way. Now I joined the basketball club where he joined Science and drama club. Now we have like something called distance, which honestly I don’t know, it’ll be temporary or worse…. forever. I think I should thanked Uruha by bought him a new pair of sneakers, because three days later Ruki walked home beside me, silently. Then the next day he finally spoke to me after almost one and a half semester him being cocky.
“What’s… on your nose?” his voice hadn’t change.
“None of your business,” I answered casually with a shrug. Then I paced faster, passing him. But then I felt him grabbed my shirt.
“Don’t you dare ignored me!” that boils my blood. I snapped his hand harshly, turning and glared at him. He seems to flinch and stepped backwards a little.
“Oh yeah? Isn’t that MY line, smarty?!! Damn it are you blind?!! What’s in your head?? Cockiness?!! Thank you very much but I don’t need it!!” once again, I’m not sure what I’ve said. It just came out, without my control. And my body turned, pacing again. But this time it listened to me. My long legs stopped when those painful sobs reached my ears. Frantically I turned, finding my precious best-best-best-best-best-best friend cried. I stopped for a while, but then I regretted for hesitating. I’m so stupid.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry… I’m so sorry Rei, I’m sorry…” he sobbed, his thin shoulders shaking. Wait… he’s thin…? He’s thinner now.
“Reita I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, I--” he stopped when I hugged him. He let out a small surprised yelp, but he surrendered under my embrace. He leaned to my chest, wetting it with his tears.
“I’m sorry too, Ru, for being so harsh with you… for being so, so not understanding you… I’m sorry too,” I buried my face in his neck. His smooth and fleshy neck I missed. Then he went hysteric silently. He gripped my shirt, buried his face deeper in my chest. It worried me.
“Rei, oh Rei, please Rei… I’m so stupid… really stupid, how could I be so bling all this time? Yes you’re right, I’m blind, I’m stupid, Rei, I’m the most stupid human in this world… I’m so stupid…” he babbled, even it’s not really clear due his buried face and sobs, but I know he meant it.
“It’s okay, Ru, at least you’re not leaving me… are you?” I whispered, then I feel him shook his head no. I smiled, and tighten my arms as he wrapped his on my waist. I cried for him. I learned… that I… can’t live without him.
He never did the same mistake. He never leaves me from that time. We became together, one, again. Me and Ruki, forever again. Until we both grown up, we reached 20, and we moved to Tokyo. We became a man, even though not really mature yet. We studied in a same university again. And I smiled really wide when I got text from Uruha. He said “I see you guys never get bored sticking like no other all this time,”
And for the second time, the guardian angel should feel a heart break. Ruki said he had lost his single status, and now he’s in a relationship with his friend. I know her soon, she’s the pops in campus named Reila, and she’s very… cold, in my eyes. I don’t like her, I HATE HER, I don’t know why, but my heart burns every time I saw her holding Ruki’s hand, kissing him shamelessly, and tried to flirt with him, everywhere. Damn that bitch, but of course I don’t dare say it to Ruki, his eyes were gleaming, almost like when we first time met-that hurts a lot though it’s still almost-I’m trying my best not to say it, we’re in a same apartment. I suffered, but what can I do? My job is just being his guardian angel, being his listener, being his best friend. That’s my job, for forever.
I realized, I know. I know it for long time ago since I could feel and understand something called love. I know that I love Ruki, more, more than that. I already feel it since… seven years ago perhaps? When we were first entered junior high. Yes… when I had the urge to kiss him, but I never did. I’m lame, I’m afraid, if we’ll separate. I hate to think, so I choose to keep silent, watching, and rotting alone. By calling myself a loser, I keep my mouth closed.
Ruki always talked to me, how pretty Reila is, how she treated him, how she…. Blah, for the first time I hope I don’t have to be his listener. But again, I don’t know how to feel. He seems really happy; his eyes are gleaming, pretty, and cute. But remembering that bitch, I can’t say that I’m happy for him. I never say a word about his relationship. I just laughed, and nodded, and listened-trying not to listen but still give him response, but I never ever say I accepted Reila for him, or I hate it. I hate her; it’s a super clear answer. But I never put a finger, I just listen. It keeps like this for the next five months…
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“Rei!” I turned, smiling a little with full force when I saw my Ruki walking hand in claw-claw for the bitch-towards me. I was just finished fixing my boots ties when they walked to me leaving trails on the snow.
“Rei, would you come with us for dinner?” Ruki smiled eagerly to me. But I always can put on a neutral face.
“Sorry, I have extra tasks,” I lied. Then I acted like I need to fix the other boots. Preventing on seeing those pleading eyes I couldn’t refuse.
“I should help you then!” he asked.
“But Ruki-chu, we haven’t go for dinner lately~” damn it!! Go dinner alone, you motherfucker!! What!! Ruki-chu?!! If you’re not Ruki’s girlfriend I had mutilate you into unseen pieces!!!
“Don’t. You go, with her,” I still trying to looks busy with my fine boots.
“I have a name Reita!” she protested. Really, she’s…!!!
“Whatever, bye take your time, be careful with her,” I paced off.
I regretted again. I regretted all of my words. Hadn’t I promise to myself not to say a word about them?! And now I’m alone messing with my spiky blonde hair. He really went for dinner; he didn’t chase me, which I already expect. Well I’m pretty sure that Satan hates me too, thanks, I hate you too, so she told Ruki not to chase me. She’s pure evil!
I’m awake at one. The first time I could think of is my crush, my Ruki… but empty bed was what I found when I checked his room. This made my eyes shot open. Where are you my little Ru? I tried to call him, his phone is dead. Then I swiftly grabbed my jacket, and paced out to God knows where. All in my head; I must find him.
I passed place to place, running. But the town is sleeping. It’s so dark, and cold… I passed the park. But then I saw his familiar brown hair, his small fragile figure, sitting on a frozen bench in who cares park. I run at him eventually, running as fast as I can, like he’s going to disappear within seconds. As I got closer, I could saw his face, I could catch his expression. It’s blank, and desperate.
“Ruki! What are you doing here?! Why didn’t you going home?!” I screamed on his face, but he didn’t even blink. I heard him murmuring something.
“What..?” he moved his pale lips again? I don’t know. I sat beside him, trying to figure out his words. I leaned, almost touching his chubby cheeks with my nose. But he sat still. But when I looked more to him, I saw frozen tears trails. “Did you cry Ruki?! What happen!? Hey! You could die freezing here! Let’s go home!”
“…hurts,”
“What?”
“It hurts…”
“What?! Are you bleeding!?” but then his shoulders shaking violently. He started to sob, being hysteric silently. Just like when he apologized to me when he almost left me that time. Just like when I hugged him for the first time. But now I can’t move, I don’t understand, I’m just being a statue, watching him pouring his tears again. He cried on his own lap, curling. I don’t get it…
“Reila…” I heard him choked the bitch’s name; I swiftly kneeled in front of him. He tried to lift up so he can face me, I helped him, and now I put my uncovered cold hands on his shoulder, trying to calm him down. He seemed to have calmed down a little and managed to speak properly.
“Reila… she… left me…” he said painfully. And the first thing I could think of is killing her.
“What? How? Didn’t she love you?” I tried to act like I don’t hate her.
“There’s no need to act like you don’t… hate her… I know, I know you hate her, Rei… I could feel your dislike towards her… I know you couldn’t accept her… but I always thought that she could change; she isn’t like you think but… I always wrong, I always be the one who made mistakes, I always hurt you, Rei… I’m so stupid…” now Reita regretted again. So what did I do all this time…? Nothing, I didn’t care.
“No, Ru, no… I’m stupid too, I’ve should be there for you… I…” but Ruki hugged me. He let his hot breathe warms up my cold neck; I didn’t have time to put any scarf or even gloves last time.
“I’m sorry, Rei, I said I won’t leave you again, but I’m so stupid, I’m still stupid, I left you and keep denying that I could live alone, do things alone… I can’t, Rei, I should be with you,” my heart paced hearing his words. I know this isn’t a confession of sort but… knowing he still needs me, knowing I meant a lot to him, is enough to warm my inside.
“It’s okay, it’s my destiny to always be beside you, this is my fate to be your guardian angel,” I slipped my thoughts off. I feel embarrassed. This is weird… but then Ruki pulled backwards, facing me with confused look.
“My guardian angel…? You…? Oh you’re more precious than that, Rei, you’re better than any other thing, you’re my everything Rei, and it’s our fate to meet,” he smiled. I moved my cold hands to his cheeks, trying to wipe the frozen tears. But he gasped, and swiftly took my hands and holds it between his gloved ones.
“Rei, you’re so cold! You’re not wearing any gloves?! And scarf?! You’re worse than me! Why?!” he asked in a worried tone. I just chuckled nervously, glancing to the dim park lamp on my right. I heard Ruki sighed, and reached my cheeks-like he always did when he tried to wake me up long time ago-I faced him, grinning nervously. But I learned that sometimes we need to tell the truth and take benefits in it…
“I couldn’t think of anything you know, when I saw your bed empty… I just grabbed my jacket and boots, and…” surprisingly Ruki hugged me again, tighter.
“Rei… why are you so kind? Why are you so care about me…? Aren’t you mad at me? I’ve tried to leave you twice, I always spill my whines and protests and problems to you… why, Rei?” the answer is one; because I love you. But is this the right time to confess? No, even Ruki thinks that I’m straight. How would he respond hearing me liking him for so long? Not now.
“Someday… you’ll find the answer, Ru,”
A/N: please do comment in both parts! Thank yous :* ❤
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