i don't know what's up but i am having WEIRD fucking dreams, it's been happening for a while, i hope by writing it down it will get out of my head sooner. these dreams are the ones that stick in your head all day and make you think they're real. maybe i will continue to log them because they're so fucking weird ( Read more... )

so here i am channel surfing thinking about going to bed and i breeze past intervention where 3 kids are reading their letters to their mom about how they want her back and they don't want her to drink anymore because she doesn't listen to them and she's not there for them and they're scared something is going to happen to her and i burst into ( Read more... )

today sucked, i am exhausted in my brain. i got paid, then i paid bills and now i am empty again ;( called the ex to see if he could send us some grocery money which is stupid b/c i know he's just blowing smoke up my ass about paying me anything arg ( Read more... )

i feel like everyone around me is going crazy and maybe taking me with them! or maybe i am sleep deprived i don't know wtf ( Read more... )

i just want to relish the way i feel right now and this weekend. malea went to camp on friday-sunday and while i missed her, it was AMAZING to have more than 12 hours to myself, no work, no kid, just the dog (whom i totally neglected) all i did was drink coffee, lounge around and spent way too many hours at the scrapbook store but it did something ( Read more... )

I am so irritated, my paycheck might be jack again b/c they're not sure if they can get my extra pay into the pay period b/c the accounting dept lady went on vacation. oh okay so i can be broke ass another month. yep great ( Read more... )

i did my fifth step and it was soo good, it felt really good to do it. i was just looking over it, i think i need to sit with it some more but it feels really good to have worked it out and especially to have it to look back on. yay for change

i am watching intervention --dude is a meth addict, my fucking mouth is watering and my head hurts like i just did some with him. wtf? god it's fun being a tweeker for life.
i can usually handle this show but today its intense.

i knew my dad would do this, i was joking yesterday that he'd call and say, hey i am in seattle how do i get to your house again? i got this instead at 4:30, hey we're in portland, can't find the cell phone, we're headed up to your place, see ya in a while....
god! we have friggin brownies tonight from 6:30-8, this is frusturating.....

i would so rather be screwing around today than be at work.........i haven't done SH*T today except mess around on the internet and contemplate how to kill the dog as she ate my black converse while i was in the shower this am grrr. my parents are coming today maybe i dunno they haven't called or anything....... gaaaah