so things ended last night for good ( Read more... )

no matter how hard i try to keep this happy face on, i am still breaking down inside. i can't fool myself. everyday the pain gets more and more real.

i feel so alone.

the guy i need:

will WANT to go to church. and keep me strong.

will know the perfect time to compliment me. but wont overwhelm me with them.

will keep a good eye on me while we are out, but wont be overbearing. because he is confident i love him.

will know when and where to drink. and how much to consume.

can impress my friends and family with his wit ( Read more... )

i went to jacks while he was gone last night.  and packed all my stuff.  threw it all in garbage bags. everything except for the big things. some files and my martini glasses and some appliances.  i broke down. showered and slept in his bed with lauren. took my pillow in the morning before church ( Read more... )

so i didn't even get a phone call last night or this morning.
i won't see you for 6 days...

this is kind of opening my eyes.
i thought we were doing a lil better?

i guess i was dreaming.

i am so tore up inside. but i have to keep on a game face.

i can't let this bring me down. i can't. i am too strong of a woman.

i never thought this would be ( Read more... )

my whole world is upside down.

trying to make some good plans for this weekend. i already have some ideas. livonia.... pontiac.... jager.... britt majka.... nice weather.

i feel like everything all just happened at once. EVERYTHING. not even just the obvious.

i have found the perfect song for everyone who has lied or hurt me in the past year. it ( Read more... )

it hurts so bad.

why do ppl feel the need to cheat? are ppl really ever satisfied?

maybe not...

i feel my heart, shattered in peice-inside me chest.

worst pain i have ever felt.

i hate crying.

 YAY! the first NFL game starts today! i can't wait. GO COLTS!

i absolutely LOVE football season. and fall =)

i have to work @ 130 today and then i am heading out to howell for bubby's football game. i can't believe he is a freshman. and he is ROCKIN the feild. scored 2 touchdowns last game and rushed lots of yards. he is gonna be a heart breaker. ( Read more... )

so right now i am soooooo annoyed.

i think i am over living with my brother.

living with my grandma is sounding better and better by the moment.

ahhh how quickly things change.