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[hokulanimoo]

i can't believe my grandma has cancer...lower esophagus and upper stomach.  i can't believe she's going to die one day...soon....too damn soon.  i can't believe she won't be able to cook and eat all the things she loves.  i can't believe it's coming...  been crying all day and moping around all day

Comments

[littlebamboo]

my aunty has leukemia and its not looking good. they are out of chemo options... fortunately, she has a really positive attitude, and her and my uncle (and the rest of us) will never lose hope for their miracle.

for father's day i sent my dad The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. He and my mom have both read it now, and my mom reminded me of something when we were talking about my aunty just today - in the book he says he's actually lucky because he got to make plans for the end of his life, especially for his family, rather than have a sudden passing. it really reminded me that despite bad news, there are positive ways to look at it. you have time! be with your grandma and create as many memories as you can and learn as much as you can!

grief is something i cannot get over. but i have no regrets about my grandma because we went to see her, as painful as it has been. hang in there, Lisa.

[hokulanimoo]

thanks kristen and i'm sorry about your aunty's situation... i ADMIRE those who keep a positive attitude during such hard times. i just went to a funeral last night for a co-worker and they really emphasized the love he had for life and how no matter how much pain he endured, he still found the strength to help others.

i read The Last Lecture too...such a great book too. Randy was also a very strong human being.

i've been sad ever since learning about my grandma's cancer...and have cried MANY times about it, sometimes alone in the shower or in the car ride home. i'm really having a hard time dealing...to the point where i have a hard time eating.

thank you for reminding me of the time i DO have to spend with her and reminding me of such inspiring people that surround us. i need to stop worrying so much.

[littlebamboo]

yeah, i'm sorry :( crying is good, though... my sister and talked about that a lot, i guess its like cathartic or something.

how is your grandma handling everything?

[hokulanimoo]

you know, my dad, dave, and i think my grandma has accepted the fact that she has cancer...but she hasn't given up. she still tries to eat (even though the cancer is really not allowing her to hold down much food) and she tries to make us laugh. her mind is still very strong...i think that's the hardest part to see. i'm really trying to gather together her life stories while i can.

overall, when i asked my grandma if she is feeling any pain on saturday night, she said that there's no pain...just really tired.

i've been talking to my sister more about this too...it's been hard for her because she's in CO...we're gonna try to set up a Skype thing so she can talk to my grandma "in person".