Fic: A Dormed Life
Title: A Dormed Life
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Homestuck
Characters: Dave, Rose.
Words: 933
Summary: A normal college student has to deal with Dave as his roommate. From this prompt
Warnings: Swearing.
You are twenty years old, a college student. You like to drink (even though you’re a few months under age), party on the weekends, study your ass of during midterms and finals, and you generally think life is pretty fun with a side of serious. You have a girlfriend, and even if you two don’t always get along, you know you’re solid. She also doesn’t know about that redhead at the party last weekend. You hold a part time job at a video rental store, which you spend nearly all day goofing off in, because no body rents movies anymore, but you gotta pay for things somehow. You have a group of close guy friends you hang out with and the girls who would be falling all over you if you weren’t taken.
You are a pretty normal college kid. You live in a dorm on the edge of campus and you have a roommate.
You think your roommate is pretty fucking strange. He wears these large sunglasses, pretty much all the time. You’re pretty sure you’ve never seen him without them, even when he comes from taking a shower, even when you come in his room without knocking in the middle of the night. He’s just chilling there in his shades. It creeps you out a little bit.
For claiming to be such a cool guy all the time, you think he’s actually a loser. You go out and party on the weekends, your roommate sits at his computer. He’s always sitting at his computer. You wonder what he does on it all the fuck day. The one time you snuck into his room while he was at class you found several chat windows open and some dumb comic. You tried reading a few pages of it but it didn’t make any sense and you felt even more dumb then when you first started.
Two weeks after he moved in he rearranged some things while you were out one Friday. You came home late, half drunk, your best buddy having deposited you at the door, the sober bastard. He told you to get some food and water into your system, and that’s just what you planned on doing. So you go to the fridge, because where else would you keep food? However when you opened the fridge a sword fell out. You were pretty sure you had to be imagining things. So you closed your eyes, counted to ten, and opened them. But no, the fridge seemed to be filled swords. All the food was gone.
You found out the next morning that the new roomie had moved it all into the closet by the door. You yelled him, called him an idiot among many other colorful phrases, he just shrugged and walked off.
If that wasn’t bad enough, strange puppets began popping up around the dorm. Colorful atrocities with protruding asses. They made you feel sick each time you saw one. When you yelled at your roommate he would just shrug, tell you to calm the fuck down, dude, it was just puppet ass, and walk back into his room.
Soon all your arguments turned wordless. You’d go out for the weekend, he’d rearrange the house. He’d leave for class, you’d change it back. You actually bought a mini fridge for your room, because you were sick of all your food going to waste. When you found puppets lying around, you started throwing them in the trash. You actually went and found that comic of his and left a shitty anonymous review, telling him what a bunch of horseshit you thought it was. Sometimes you would have your friends over and you guys would make fun of his “dope rhymes” where he could hear you. Once you heard him mutter something about passive aggressive bullshit but you ignored it. You’d find another way to get back at him
Then one day there was a knock on the door. The roomie was at class, and you were pretty sure most of your friends were too. It happened to be the most gorgeous blonde girl you’d ever seen, hair nearly down to her waist, slender figure, and a dress that showed it off. She asked for your roommate. You asked who was asking. You were a smooth bastard afterall, and if by some miracle that fuckhead of a roomie had this hot of a girlfriend, you were gonna take that from him.
She tells you she’s his sister, and you’re sure that’s even better. You invite her in, tell her the moron’s in class but she’s welcome to wait.
You spend the afternoon talking to her. She’s pretty strange herself, and most of it was passed with her shrinking you, which you think is pretty funny. She sympathizes with your complaints about your roommate, admitting that he has a lot of pent up issues he refuses to address. You could care less about his pent up issues, but you don’t say this.
When your roommate comes home, for the first time he actually seems annoyed at you. He takes his sister by the arm and pulls her into his room. You feel a sense of triumph.
She leaves you with her chumhandle, telling you that anytime you want to talk to pester her. You think you might follow up on that offer. Especially when your roommate approaches you after she’s gone and tells you to step the fuck off his sister or you’re going to get tables flipped on you so fucking hard.
You finally have the advantage in this game you play.
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Homestuck
Characters: Dave, Rose.
Words: 933
Summary: A normal college student has to deal with Dave as his roommate. From this prompt
Warnings: Swearing.
You are twenty years old, a college student. You like to drink (even though you’re a few months under age), party on the weekends, study your ass of during midterms and finals, and you generally think life is pretty fun with a side of serious. You have a girlfriend, and even if you two don’t always get along, you know you’re solid. She also doesn’t know about that redhead at the party last weekend. You hold a part time job at a video rental store, which you spend nearly all day goofing off in, because no body rents movies anymore, but you gotta pay for things somehow. You have a group of close guy friends you hang out with and the girls who would be falling all over you if you weren’t taken.
You are a pretty normal college kid. You live in a dorm on the edge of campus and you have a roommate.
You think your roommate is pretty fucking strange. He wears these large sunglasses, pretty much all the time. You’re pretty sure you’ve never seen him without them, even when he comes from taking a shower, even when you come in his room without knocking in the middle of the night. He’s just chilling there in his shades. It creeps you out a little bit.
For claiming to be such a cool guy all the time, you think he’s actually a loser. You go out and party on the weekends, your roommate sits at his computer. He’s always sitting at his computer. You wonder what he does on it all the fuck day. The one time you snuck into his room while he was at class you found several chat windows open and some dumb comic. You tried reading a few pages of it but it didn’t make any sense and you felt even more dumb then when you first started.
Two weeks after he moved in he rearranged some things while you were out one Friday. You came home late, half drunk, your best buddy having deposited you at the door, the sober bastard. He told you to get some food and water into your system, and that’s just what you planned on doing. So you go to the fridge, because where else would you keep food? However when you opened the fridge a sword fell out. You were pretty sure you had to be imagining things. So you closed your eyes, counted to ten, and opened them. But no, the fridge seemed to be filled swords. All the food was gone.
You found out the next morning that the new roomie had moved it all into the closet by the door. You yelled him, called him an idiot among many other colorful phrases, he just shrugged and walked off.
If that wasn’t bad enough, strange puppets began popping up around the dorm. Colorful atrocities with protruding asses. They made you feel sick each time you saw one. When you yelled at your roommate he would just shrug, tell you to calm the fuck down, dude, it was just puppet ass, and walk back into his room.
Soon all your arguments turned wordless. You’d go out for the weekend, he’d rearrange the house. He’d leave for class, you’d change it back. You actually bought a mini fridge for your room, because you were sick of all your food going to waste. When you found puppets lying around, you started throwing them in the trash. You actually went and found that comic of his and left a shitty anonymous review, telling him what a bunch of horseshit you thought it was. Sometimes you would have your friends over and you guys would make fun of his “dope rhymes” where he could hear you. Once you heard him mutter something about passive aggressive bullshit but you ignored it. You’d find another way to get back at him
Then one day there was a knock on the door. The roomie was at class, and you were pretty sure most of your friends were too. It happened to be the most gorgeous blonde girl you’d ever seen, hair nearly down to her waist, slender figure, and a dress that showed it off. She asked for your roommate. You asked who was asking. You were a smooth bastard afterall, and if by some miracle that fuckhead of a roomie had this hot of a girlfriend, you were gonna take that from him.
She tells you she’s his sister, and you’re sure that’s even better. You invite her in, tell her the moron’s in class but she’s welcome to wait.
You spend the afternoon talking to her. She’s pretty strange herself, and most of it was passed with her shrinking you, which you think is pretty funny. She sympathizes with your complaints about your roommate, admitting that he has a lot of pent up issues he refuses to address. You could care less about his pent up issues, but you don’t say this.
When your roommate comes home, for the first time he actually seems annoyed at you. He takes his sister by the arm and pulls her into his room. You feel a sense of triumph.
She leaves you with her chumhandle, telling you that anytime you want to talk to pester her. You think you might follow up on that offer. Especially when your roommate approaches you after she’s gone and tells you to step the fuck off his sister or you’re going to get tables flipped on you so fucking hard.
You finally have the advantage in this game you play.