Introducing two new characters to the cast

[homernbender]

In my U2 rant, I alluded to painful, brooding injuries. Here's the backstory for these memorable characters

Comments

[firesetterninja]

OH MY GOD. OWWWW.
That looks truly awful. Glad it's nothing serious, but geez. And soft-tissue damage is essentially internal bruising.
When you say you're overweight, do you mean actually 20 pounds overweight, or 20 pounds more than you want to be?

[homernbender]

I mean 20 pounds overweight. I don't have a target weight that I want to reach, I just want to get rid of my gut.