a Dean-focused hurt/comfort comment meme (#5)

[hoodietime]

Omg, I’m so ready for this right now. \o/

Before we get started, I'd like to thank geckoholic a million times over for making the lovely banner for this meme. You can find her graphics community at bl00dredskies.

Comments

supernatural curse/illness, depression, any genre

[anonymous]

Dean is cursed or infected by something that augments your emotions. But this being set anytime from s4 to post-series (I’m thinking of what Famine said about Dean’s emptiness in My Bloody Valentine and I definitely don’t think that’s wholly healed) it’s less of an outpouring of visible emotion for the most part and more of an all-consuming, don’t-want-to-even-get-out-of-bed depression.

This leads to them having to confront that this is how Dean feels on a regular basis, just at a lower level. :(

Re: supernatural curse/illness, depression, any genre

[maypoles]

This prompt to me is like an ice cream cone with angst sprinkles and a cherry on top and I would eat it up with a spoon.

I love the psychological prompts.

FILLED: Atrophy 1/?

[anonymous]

S4-6, PG-13-ish for language, gen, Sam, Dean, a tiny bit of Bobby, feverishness, depression, suicidal ideation, bed sharing

Re: FILLED: Atrophy 2/?

[anonymous]

It took him over an hour to get back to Sam.

At the motel, Sam’s face was pinched with hunger and worry, and Dean was sorry. He’d missed more than some time. The town was small and it was very late and everything was closed.

“Sammy,” he said, and just then a veil of awful tiredness fell over him. His knees shook with it.

“Dean, what- Dean,” Sam said, one giant hand gripping his elbow. “What’s going on?”

“Went for a drive,” Dean said, vaguely surprised by the way his voice slurred. “Sorry.”

“You went for a drive?” Sam said slowly, like he was trying to decipher just what Dean meant by that. “What, to the bar?”

“Sure, yeah,” Dean said, and face-planted onto the bed when Sam propelled him there.

“You’ve got a fever, you moron,” Sam said, and his giant hand was on Dean’s forehead now. It covered his eyes too, and it was dark under there, felt nice. Dean’s eyelashes caught on the roughness of Sam’s fingers, then he closed his eyes for good and crashed headlong into sleep.

Re: FILLED: Atrophy 3/?

[anonymous]

He woke up covered in dried, tacky sweat, and feeling like maybe he’d been drinking after all. That sick, hungover heaviness clung to everything

Re: FILLED: Atrophy 4/?

[anonymous]

It was the fight they’d had a million times over, the one about the fact that Dean never, ever puts a new roll of toilet paper on the thing, but this time he got nauseous - again - right in the middle of it

Re: FILLED: Atrophy 5/?

[anonymous]

His gun jammed in bumfuck, Iowa, and Dean thought what was the point of all those hours spent cleaning guns if they were just going to jam and get Sam killed over some crap weaponry malfunction after everything, Jesus, what would dad say about that? And why didn’t he care about what dad would say about that? Why didn’t he care about anything?

Sam, still alive, found him braced up against a tree. Blood ran thicker than sap all down the bark from his clawing fingers. Sam, shocked, stared at him wildly. The forest was silent except for their breathing - Sam’s harsh, Dean’s low, whistling, like someone locked inside a small space, preserving oxygen.

Re: FILLED: Atrophy 6/?

[anonymous]

On their way through South Dakota a week later, Bobby did them up some steaks on the barbecue, smeared them with sauce and plunked them down in front of Dean leaking red juice, and Dean didn’t know what he did, if he made a noise or what, but Bobby and Sam both snapped their heads his way

Re: FILLED: Atrophy 7/?

[anonymous]

Later, Sam stood over him in the middle of the night. Or maybe it wasn’t the middle of the night. He couldn’t be sure. “Listen to me,” Sam said. “We found out- something’s doing this to you. Dean, are you listening

Re: FILLED: Atrophy 7/7

[anonymous]

That last day, the tears came in silent waves, warm on his face, then cooling when that too-empty feeling would take him back over. He’d never been a person who clung to other people before, not physically, but he was that day, curling towards Sam, clinging to him like Sam was a tree branch, like he’d clung to that tree back in Iowa. Sam was all that he wanted. That or his gun, his jamming, beautiful gun. All those pretty little bullets. Imagining them working their way through his brain matter and stopping this never-ending cycle of clinging embarrassingly to his baby brother, of moaning when the nothing got to be too much, and then losing his voice altogether

Re: FILLED: Atrophy 7/7

[embroiderama]

Oh god, DEAN. *aches and aches for him*

Re: FILLED: Atrophy 7/7

[anonymous]

Thanks for reading! :-)

Re: FILLED: Atrophy 7/7

[honeylocusttree]

THIS. Like, a million times.

Especially that last line. What a kicker. Words fail.

Re: FILLED: Atrophy 7/7

[anonymous]

Thank-you! I'm glad you liked it.

Re: FILLED: Atrophy 7/7

[biketest]

Jesus christ. When I started this I was like, "yeah, this is alright." but by the end I was like "THIS IS THE MOST HEARTBREAKING COMMENTFIC EVER WRITTEN." Especially the last day. ;_;
Just, wow. Fantastic job. I had been thinking of attempting this fic once I had time, but you nailed it.

Re: FILLED: Atrophy 7/7

[anonymous]

Thank-you!

Yes, this got even angstier on me than I thought it would, and I knew it was going to be angsty!

You should write this one too. I'm sure you'd do a great job and I'd love to read another take on it.