its been so long since i have even logged on to this thing... and my last entry SUCKED... haha so i just wanted to update, that im wonderful, happy, and satisfied. :)

um. i have always seen my pain as my fault. i have always thought around the idea that someone else caused these emotions... until someone brought it up to me... "how can someone hurt another person so bad and not care?" it made me wonder why i always thought it was my fault, that im the one that did something to deserve the pain that i have come ( Read more... )

i need a break from my life...

i was thinking of all the things that i dont have now... all though there are too many to list and cry to livejournal about... i thought this was beautiful...

i want to wake up early enough to watch the sun glow on his face until he looks at me...

i miss being a secret. i dont know if this is worth it.

liz told me i need to stay up with the livejournal... i guess ive really been slacking. oh well. a lot of good and bad shit has happend hardcore. lol. but instead of sleeping in bed for 3 days and being a little pussy, i only layed in bed for 2 days and was a little pussy. and THEN liz came to save my life. haha the girls apt. was a free hotel for ( Read more... )

i hate the idea of holidays = family time. i hate that i go to a town where i cant resist mistakes. i hate the way holidays are supposed to be happy times while its a suicide note. i hate that no one knows me anymore. i hate that love keeps lying to me. i hate how im sitting here drinking beer thinking it may help. i hate this house when im alone. ( Read more... )

i wish you would do the things to me, that i now have to do alone. missing something.

i dont really like this. i decided that i could never live alone, my roomies headed home but of course i try to stay away from adrian for the longest time possible. its scary. but ill watch my tv and ignore the made up noises and visions of my mind. hehe

"im going to brush my teeth, and get ready for this war!"

so my party was amazing, im so happy with everything that went down, the good and the bad...lol. im sad that not everyone i ever met was here, b/c it was so perfect. haha the bands rocked out so hard and there were sooooo many randoms, which was awesome. yay! :)

being unemployed allows me to be awesome. hahaha i have not had as much fun all year as i have in the last weekend. able to go out get trashed, jam out at joe's show (yummy), sleep in, be sick, recharge and do it again... wooooo. man im so tired and sick now though, so that sucks but it was so worth it, i had an amaazing weekend. i think my cat is ( Read more... )