t - minus  3 weeks and 5 days until my senior recital.  I can't believe I'm graduating.

I wish you could be here.

She was precious, like a flower.
she grew wild, wild but innocent.
a perfect prayer in a desperate hour.
she was everything beautiful and different.

stupid boy, you can't fence that in.
stupid boy, it's like holding back the wind

so what made you think that you could take a life and just push it around.
i guess you built yourself up so high.
you had to ( Read more... )

....... .sigh ( Read more... )

"I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of Chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and ( Read more... )

i think i'm reaching the crest of my hill.
but i don't want to speak too soon.
so instead i'm just gonna say: 
i'm ready for this new beginning.
there is light in the distance somwhere.

what a most beautiful and freeing thought.

she's right.

it was mutual.     at first.

until the next day.  all of it went straight out the window when I realized that the word mutual was really more like........ one sided.

I did it for you.

did you know that?

I did it b/c i knew that's what you were saying without actually saying it. You were afraid to.

so i did it for you.

she's right.

it was ( Read more... )

it doesn't matter what I type. eventually, time crosses it all out anyway ..

you say you're there for me, but you're not. you'd rather spend the trouble going out of your way to avoid me then to actually talk to me in passing. You think everytime I call you or have a "situation" it's just an excuse to ( Read more... )

that about covers it...

I'm so numb. And nobody knows. No one can hear me crying.

*sigh*.......

I don't know how to quit you.  Any of you.

You're always on my mind. Little parts of you that are unescapable. Big obsessions to call you when i'm lonley - or sad - or stupid or numb  - or alone. Wait, I said that didn't I?.... alone. Especially when I cry. I just think, maybe i could call and leave a voicemail - knowing you won't ( Read more... )