i'm not gonna fucking just fucking leave it now

[hopes_fall]

last saturday i got the tube up to heathrow to see adrian, he's had to move to australia to live with his dad and i had to watch him go through the departure gate. you know when your body just sighs and your heart clenches? that's what it was like. i miss him so much but it's not just that, i feel like i failed him, i should've looked after him

Comments

[industrielle]

Boy, do I ever know what you're talking about! I can definitely relate to you on "being a waste." I have all these aspirations, dreams, goals that I want to accomplish but I always brush them off to the side. I'm just all talk - no action and I honestly hate it but like you I let my fears and doubts get the best of me. And I every so often result in the usage of drugs to "ease the pain away." Reality is such a drag and I like to keep myself in a constant state of no worries.

"someone who knows me, like actually deep down. and that's no one. and that's sad." Hm, I believe you can count 1 who knows you ... well, perhaps not really knows you for I've never met you, lol, but what you've stated in your journal so far has ME written all over it. It's my life, but the British version, hehe :D And it's so awkward that you're from Katelios of all places, do ya think it's a coincidence? lol

[hopes_fall]

haha yeah it's a crazy coincidence. katelios really is tiny! nice to know someone gets what i ramble on about though heh. i've been thinking today and i reckon it's just a case of getting on with it and making the most of what you get. plus i feel a bit better cuz i became proactive and cleaned the house, watered the plants and did loads of washing. suprisingly satisfying and less like a chore than normal!

[ode_to_no_one]

i love you tasha

i know its not the same but i have great big hugs waiting for you

[hopes_fall]

aww thanks, i miss you loads, what have you been up to? i saw rob in chicagos actually, how comes you didnt come too?

[ode_to_no_one]

i cant remember, i was prolly working :( he said he saw you though. i think i will see you on results day, am coming up to county high to see you all, my results just dont interest me that much :) in fact, creed had to tell me when results day actually was :)

[pushitgood]

i love you, i really did miss you loads after rome.
i feel like all i'm ever doing at the moment is going to work or recovering from work (i guess just the shock of having a job) which i hate so i know the feeling of wanting to actually do things.
if i can help ever let me know.
xxx