we never have anything to talk about anymore. it's like the only reason you talked to me was to get information for your own personal gain. it feels like you were using me and it sucks because i actually cared about how you felt and what you had to say. i listened because i thought we were friends. i listened because i cared i listened because i ( Read more... )

doing some searching recently has led me to find that i'm afraid of relationships. i'm not afraid of commitment, just relationships. the idea of divorce scares me to the deepest depths of my being and i think that's why i'm afraid to be vulnerable to people. i get so caught up with this idea that people are just going to eventually hurt me, that i ( Read more... )

do you ever have those times where you just start crying and you can't stop ( Read more... )

Lord, give me patience.

i've never quite understood parents ( Read more... )

so basically i'm trying to find myself again. i used to be so sure of who i am and what i wanted but now i'm not sure. i'm not sure of anything at all. i guess i've found myself if a rut. something i've dug myself into unintentionally. i've become so aware of what i do and say basically paranoid that if i don't say the right thing, i won't get ( Read more... )

i'm just now starting my paper, and decided after almost a year of not updating i would give the world a taste of my life. i love sermon prep, i love God, and things are pretty great. parents are dumb but i guess they're useful sometimes. i'm in love with the moulin rouge soundtrack.

sisters are annoying!!

i'm not really sure why i'm chosing to update now. i'm not exactly sure what i want to say even. i am just having such a hard time with things recently. i don't exactly want to go into extreme details because i don't want to sound like a complete mindless sap. so dang i guess thats it for now. ask about it if you are dying to know.

final days of driver's ed are over, meaning break is almost over too. new year's was fun...i love my friends. i think i'm going to knit.

i'm a walking fatality.