here's to a new day.

[hostage_of_hope]

I'm hoping today is a better day than it has been. I didn't weigh myself. Fuck the scale. I have no interest. If I am going to get recovered then i'm going to have to learn to not do it. and I'm trying. All it does is upset me. Here I'm trying to make healthy decisions, and to eat nourishing foods, staying active to build muscle and be healthy..

Comments

[bookgurrl]

I think you are doing amazing.

I believe your body will settle in to a set point. It will get there naturally if you are listening to your hunger cues, as you mostly are. You aren't eating monstrous amounts of calories. You won't get fat. The swelling always happens, and it always goes away. My body naturally likes to be ___ lbs. If I'm eating to appetite and exercising moderately, I will stick at that weight. It took a while to discover that. And it's not a fat weight. It's still on the lower spectrum of normal, but I'm a short,small framed girl with tiny wrists and tiny shoulders. You are taller and your body will need more calories to reach a set point. I promise you, you won't keep gaining forever.

Your metabolism may just be somewhat stunted if you were eating less than your body needed, and at 5'9 that's a lot. When your body trusts you to feed it again it will settle down. Remember that article you posted about refeeding. Go back and read that again. You will be okay my friend. This is the hardest part. xoxo

[hostage_of_hope]

My husband is putting me on a "new" diet. obviously, not to lose weight. But is going to get some higher protein levels in me, and some more fiber. He says that should help to process out the bloat. We shall see.

I want a hard body. I dont' want to be thin. That's part of what the problem was. I saw some top abs, and wanted to "lean out" to see if I could see more. and then relapsed. I was so sensitive to those triggers around me too. it wasn't just one thing. Everything seemed to lead me further and further down the rabbit trail.

My stomache isn't feeling as bloated, but I know that I've just undid what my body was trying to do. sucks. sorry for typos. trying to finish up before kids get home.

[bookgurrl]

Your husband is right. My e/d specialists always told me to eat more protein as it helps the cells flush out more water when I was dealing with a lot of water weight and bloat.

My struggle has always been that I wanted to be waify thin. Actually, I just wanted to be very small. I could have cared less about a hard body. I hate strength training. Hate it. Even though I know that's a much healthier approach. Right now I just wish I had energy to do ANY sort of exercise. Eh, so damn tired and unmotivated. Can't tell if that's the e/d or depression.

Glad you are feeling less bloated. Hang in there woman! xoxo

[hostage_of_hope]

I hate that he's righto He tried helping me before and I rejected it because my weight shot up. In retrospect, is probably because even then my body was starved.

I go between wanting to be thin and fragile looking, to wanting to have a hard body. I mostly want to be thin when I feel like hard isn't attainable because of my loose skin

[hostage_of_hope]

I guess I don't understand why I have to stay at a set point. How does your body determine what it is? If I want to lift weights and lower my body fat percentage, how is that bad? Why can't I carry around more muscle? I'm hoping since I was a string bean all growing up, and I can drop weight quickly that my metabolism is naturally high and my set point low.

It pissed me off what she said. I forgot to tell her that I accidentally took a laxative yesterday, so she started in on my extreme thinking got me into this, and extreme thinking isn't going to get me out of it. and recommended I eat 1300 calories and work up to it. In which case, I told her 1800 isn't extreme and sent her a link to inform her of the process my body is going through. She means well, really.