beyond frustrated

[hostage_of_hope]

Just keeps going up and up and up. It's never going to stop. My reward for eating is to get fat and live in a body I loathe. That's quite the motivation. And laxatives are staying to sound really good right now. I an so bloated and need to poop so badly. But it's feels stuck. I'm trying to remind myself natural is better. But how long am I going to

Comments

[bookgurrl]

You won't keep gaining forever. It just feels like it. Stay strong!! xoxo

[hostage_of_hope]

It does feel like I'm going to gain forever. And I can't seem to think of anything else. I have a constant belly ache!!! And it keeps getting worse. But I found this website which adequately describes some of my symptoms. Mostly the stomach ache. Bloating. Constipation and exhaustion. It's long and parts are boring. But it was also interesting.

http://www.youreatopia.com/blog/2012/11/23/phases-of-recovery-from-a-restrictive-eating-disorder.html

[hostage_of_hope]

And remembering this... and you were soooo right!!

[hostage_of_hope]

is just weird for me to fluctuate THIS much. I know my body fairly well. I know how it responds to things. I was in a full blown panic! Lol