i would die for you baby
Title: Grenade
Author: hotfruits
Beta: keeconk
Rating: R for suicide attempt
Characters: Nakajima Yuto/Yamada Ryosuke. Okamoto Keito/Yamada Ryosuke.
Disclaimer: Original fic by crazy_otaku911 here; heartbreaks and tear tracks.
Summary: Yuto's thoughts on Yamada cheating on him with Keito, and how he ended up in the hospital.
written for the jentfic_remix
The tears won't stop falling, and blood continues to flow thickly from his cut wrists, staining the bathroom floor. He's weak, head fuzzy and his body growing numb, but his thoughts continue to whirl angrily inside his head.
He wonders, more than anything else (more than how could they do this to him - he loved them, they were the most important people in his life - his best friend, his boyfriend, why?) could this have been prevented?
If Keito hadn't come home from England, he would have never met Ryosuke, and vice versa. They would only know each other through association, Keito being his best friend, Ryosuke is boyfriend. He would have lived the rest of his days in England, surely going to university there (he would have no reason to return, he doesn't understand Japanese as well as he used to) and meeting some pretty girl (or boy, he thinks) with fair skin and big, western eyes.
A few thousand miles away, Ryosuke is safe with him in Japan, away from Keito's charming smile and gentle manner. Ryosuke is his boyfriend, to hold and kiss and love, until they grow old and he dies peacefully in his sleep.
(Not like this, blood running across the floor and creating a large puddle, the left side of his face getting sticky and the smell of copper making him nauseous)
Keito had returned though, and he supposes his biggest mistake was insisting that the two become friends. It just seemed natural, his best friend, his boyfriend, the two people he loved most - they should be friends, right?
Wrong.
They betrayed him. Lying, sneaking around, kissing and holding and god knows what else - and, worst of all, falling in love.
Was it because of Keito's charm? Did he make Ryosuke's heart beat quicker, like the way he used to? Did Ryosuke's beauty make Keito's breath stop, like the way it still does for him, even now, in his mind as he lays here and dies?
(He really is the most beautiful person ever - big brown eyes, pink lips - soft, flawless, perfection)
Maybe it would have been better if they had just told him, instead of hiding their new-found love and hoping he wouldn't catch them. If they had been honest, maybe he could have thrown in the towel bravely, smiling genuinely as his best friend and boyfriend embark on a new journey together.
(No, who is he kidding - it hurts, so much, because he's loved Ryosuke for years now and he can't just let that go - Ryosuke is his, damnit, and it's not fair, so not fair - he gave him everything, his heart, body and soul - and what does he get now?)
He feels worthless, used, on top of betrayed and scared and just wishing his heart would stop beating already, so he could end this pain and forget those two forever.
If he dies, will they still be together?
(Why not, he won't be an obstacle anymore)
In a way, he almost hopes so. As much as this hurts, he wants Ryosuke to be happy, Keito too. They mean the world to him, from the day he met Keito at school and cried for hours when the boy told him he was leaving, to the time he first kissed Ryosuke, soft and slow and the boy melted in his arms.
He wants the best for them, when it comes down to it, beyond the bitter sting of betrayal and rising above the surface of his blood. His best friend, his boyfriend, the two people who made him feel complete - now, they can complete each other.
He almost smiles at the thought, but he's weaker now, his eyes are heavy and the rush of blood has slowed down. There's no more to be shed, and all he has to do is wait for death.
(The clock ticks, a door opens, and a familiar cry greets his ears as he finds himself fading away - someone is breathing into his mouth, hands pushing down on his chest - a scream, Ryosuke's scream - he's being lifted and he wonders where he's going, his life hanging so precariously in the balance)
A hand, familiar, reaches for his and gives it a squeeze.
He wants to squeeze back but he's numb, practically lifeless, can hear his heart beating slowly from a machine to his left.
Ryosuke is crying, asking him why, and he wonders if he's that naive.
He isn't.
Ryosuke is apologizing, telling him he loves him - only him - and the cut in his heart aches a little. What about Keito, he wants to ask, but his mouth is closed and he's struggling to even breathe, let alone speak.
(Everything stops for a moment and Ryosuke's hand is gone - he opens his eyes with much difficulty and sees a doctor standing above him, shouting orders - he hears his heart beating slower, slower, can feel it dying in his chest)
Everything goes black.
(He wakes up hours later and a few nurses are attending to Ryosuke, who is collapsed onto the floor, screaming and crying - Keito is standing near the door, looking so utterly broken that it makes Yuto hurt, not just for himself, but for Keito too)
If he dies, he hopes they can be together.
If he lives, he wants to tell Ryosuke he loves him one last time, before pushing him into Keito's arms.
(Maybe this couldn't have been prevented - everything happens for a reason, right? he thinks to himself, body numb from drugs but the stitches on his wrist itching - maybe Keito and Ryosuke are meant to be)
Maybe.
Author: hotfruits
Beta: keeconk
Rating: R for suicide attempt
Characters: Nakajima Yuto/Yamada Ryosuke. Okamoto Keito/Yamada Ryosuke.
Disclaimer: Original fic by crazy_otaku911 here; heartbreaks and tear tracks.
Summary: Yuto's thoughts on Yamada cheating on him with Keito, and how he ended up in the hospital.
written for the jentfic_remix
The tears won't stop falling, and blood continues to flow thickly from his cut wrists, staining the bathroom floor. He's weak, head fuzzy and his body growing numb, but his thoughts continue to whirl angrily inside his head.
He wonders, more than anything else (more than how could they do this to him - he loved them, they were the most important people in his life - his best friend, his boyfriend, why?) could this have been prevented?
If Keito hadn't come home from England, he would have never met Ryosuke, and vice versa. They would only know each other through association, Keito being his best friend, Ryosuke is boyfriend. He would have lived the rest of his days in England, surely going to university there (he would have no reason to return, he doesn't understand Japanese as well as he used to) and meeting some pretty girl (or boy, he thinks) with fair skin and big, western eyes.
A few thousand miles away, Ryosuke is safe with him in Japan, away from Keito's charming smile and gentle manner. Ryosuke is his boyfriend, to hold and kiss and love, until they grow old and he dies peacefully in his sleep.
(Not like this, blood running across the floor and creating a large puddle, the left side of his face getting sticky and the smell of copper making him nauseous)
Keito had returned though, and he supposes his biggest mistake was insisting that the two become friends. It just seemed natural, his best friend, his boyfriend, the two people he loved most - they should be friends, right?
Wrong.
They betrayed him. Lying, sneaking around, kissing and holding and god knows what else - and, worst of all, falling in love.
Was it because of Keito's charm? Did he make Ryosuke's heart beat quicker, like the way he used to? Did Ryosuke's beauty make Keito's breath stop, like the way it still does for him, even now, in his mind as he lays here and dies?
(He really is the most beautiful person ever - big brown eyes, pink lips - soft, flawless, perfection)
Maybe it would have been better if they had just told him, instead of hiding their new-found love and hoping he wouldn't catch them. If they had been honest, maybe he could have thrown in the towel bravely, smiling genuinely as his best friend and boyfriend embark on a new journey together.
(No, who is he kidding - it hurts, so much, because he's loved Ryosuke for years now and he can't just let that go - Ryosuke is his, damnit, and it's not fair, so not fair - he gave him everything, his heart, body and soul - and what does he get now?)
He feels worthless, used, on top of betrayed and scared and just wishing his heart would stop beating already, so he could end this pain and forget those two forever.
If he dies, will they still be together?
(Why not, he won't be an obstacle anymore)
In a way, he almost hopes so. As much as this hurts, he wants Ryosuke to be happy, Keito too. They mean the world to him, from the day he met Keito at school and cried for hours when the boy told him he was leaving, to the time he first kissed Ryosuke, soft and slow and the boy melted in his arms.
He wants the best for them, when it comes down to it, beyond the bitter sting of betrayal and rising above the surface of his blood. His best friend, his boyfriend, the two people who made him feel complete - now, they can complete each other.
He almost smiles at the thought, but he's weaker now, his eyes are heavy and the rush of blood has slowed down. There's no more to be shed, and all he has to do is wait for death.
(The clock ticks, a door opens, and a familiar cry greets his ears as he finds himself fading away - someone is breathing into his mouth, hands pushing down on his chest - a scream, Ryosuke's scream - he's being lifted and he wonders where he's going, his life hanging so precariously in the balance)
A hand, familiar, reaches for his and gives it a squeeze.
He wants to squeeze back but he's numb, practically lifeless, can hear his heart beating slowly from a machine to his left.
Ryosuke is crying, asking him why, and he wonders if he's that naive.
He isn't.
Ryosuke is apologizing, telling him he loves him - only him - and the cut in his heart aches a little. What about Keito, he wants to ask, but his mouth is closed and he's struggling to even breathe, let alone speak.
(Everything stops for a moment and Ryosuke's hand is gone - he opens his eyes with much difficulty and sees a doctor standing above him, shouting orders - he hears his heart beating slower, slower, can feel it dying in his chest)
Everything goes black.
(He wakes up hours later and a few nurses are attending to Ryosuke, who is collapsed onto the floor, screaming and crying - Keito is standing near the door, looking so utterly broken that it makes Yuto hurt, not just for himself, but for Keito too)
If he dies, he hopes they can be together.
If he lives, he wants to tell Ryosuke he loves him one last time, before pushing him into Keito's arms.
(Maybe this couldn't have been prevented - everything happens for a reason, right? he thinks to himself, body numb from drugs but the stitches on his wrist itching - maybe Keito and Ryosuke are meant to be)
Maybe.