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Getting better ... sort of.
Today, I am feeling better physically and mentally. It was still very difficult to get out of bed this morning, and I still had some nausea, but I think I'm on an upward swing. The shitty thing is that I found out I'm really not much closer to getting the mental health care I need. In December, I got on a waiting list to see a counselor at Ohio ( Read more... ) -
Permission to be sick.
Ok. So, the flu can last for 2 weeks. I have had it for about a week now. That means I should give myself permission to stay in bed, be lazy, and feel like shit for another week at least. It's not my fault. I'm not doing anything wrong. If I don't feel like eating a regular meal, I don't have to, as long as I keep drinking my shakes and trying to ( Read more... ) -
Another day ...
For the last two nights, I've felt a lot better just before I went to sleep. Then, when I wake up, the depression (and nausea) returns. It's very frustrating. I want more than anything just to wake up feeling good. Instead, I'm sitting here banging out another entry to stave off another day of misery ( Read more... ) -
Hungry? I wish.
So, I haven't eaten anything really significant in the last 3 days. I'm trying to take bites of power bars and bananas and yogurt and things, but everything I put in my mouth feels and tastes disgusting. I'm conscious of the fact that not eating is further depleting my body and my brain of what it needs to feel better, so now I'm obsessed with that ( Read more... ) -
Fuck you, gorilla
I'm just going to keep writing until I start to feel better. I don't know what else to do ( Read more... ) -
The Depression Monster
I had a nice little ride in an ambulance today. I passed out, and nobody was home, and I didn't feel safe, so I called. The nice boys in the ambulance stuck an IV in my hand, and then the lovely people at the hospital put lots of stickers on me and attached wires to them. I got an x-ray and an ECG and hooked up to a heart monitor and had my blood ( Read more... ) -
I just don't want to feel like this anymore.
I'd say "I'm not myself right now," except that I can't even remember who I am, or was. My personality seems to have been swallowed up in this thick, stagnant pool of negative emotion. I don't even have the energy to put myself down. I'm utterly depleted of any desire to be, or to do, anything. I am forcing myself to write this entry because it was ( Read more... ) -
The Morgan Soundtrack
I'm putting together a personal playlist, sort of a "soundtrack" of my life. I'd love some input. Do anyone of you have songs that remind you of me?