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[howtokillmyself]

In the three weeks since I've been back at school I've managed to blow $129 on food. I have about $3 left in my account. There is a check for almost $500 sitting next to me. I'm not sure if it is even worth cashing in... it's hard to get to my bank because of my schedule and without a car... and is it even worth it? My family is very poor. As a

Comments

[simplicity_star]

Ohh dont say that about drugs. That would be just another bad habbit..addiction really that you would eventually want to be free from aswell. Its apparently just like trying to recover from an ED. Altho not quite as hard. I know what you mean about not wanting to eat in the morning, knowing that there is nothing you can do about binging in the afternoon. Its a hard cycle to get out of. I was like that at a time too. I know how hard it is. Its amazing tho eh how much money can be spent...wasted on our eds. I can understand that a fast is rather tempting, but you just have to remember what you said about, "it will trigger more binges that is so true, & if your anything like me, (which i think you are) the binges will be worse than if you didn't fast. I know how tempting it is, but its really NOT worth it in the long run.
Take Care,
sorry for all this,
xo R.

[howtokillmyself]

Well, the e.d. is an addiction... so I guess it wouldn't really be any different. I'd just be doing something more socially acceptable then. I don't think I'll become addicted to drugs, though. Everyone has their "drug of choice" and unfortunately mine is food. My whole family is full of alcoholics... and alcohol doesn't really do a thing for me. Not the way a binge or purge does. So I'd imagine most drugs would be the same way... and pot doesn't give me the same effect, either, it's just a nice feeling / good alternative to binging. Although I'm not planning to develop another bad habit... I definitely wouldn't want to be high all the time or anything like that. But it would be better to spend my cash on a couple good nights where nothing matters and I'm being social (drugs are a social thing to me)... as opposed to wasting my money on food and essentially making my life worse.

Thanks for your support, though, it's really appreciated.

[asthinasher]

"I think I would rather be spending my money on drugs."
goddamn, me too.

i spend so much time and money on this habit, it's ridiculous.
and i'd half to say that 80% of the time, i'm in that lovely cycle you described as half the day starvation / half the day b/p. bad thing is, though, i tend to exercise right before the b/p sessions, so anything i don't get up during the purge isn't burned off before i go to bed. i rarely binge early in the day. except for today. ugh.

[howtokillmyself]

Eh, as long as you burn more calories during the day than you actually take in... it really doesn't matter when you exercised and when you b/p'd. Your metabolism is boosted for whatever you eat right after exercising, too.

[fat_teen]

Drugs or Food?
What's the difference, either will destroy you.

But you do need to eat, maybe try just buying health food. So even if you binge, it's a health food binge. (But lettuce is a dreadful thing yo throw up...)

Just a thought.

xoxox.
♥

[howtokillmyself]

Well, it depends on the drugs. If it's safe and in moderation... especially if it's something as harmless as pot... then it isn't really going to destroy me and it's going to be a much better alternative than depressed binging. To me, drugs are a social thing, so it would mean being around people and having a good, carefree time... as opposed to being secretive, lonely, & hiding in my room because of food.

I don't purge anymore, so it really doesn't matter what the 'purgability' of what I eat is anymore... if I was still puking, I wouldn't care how much or what I ate...