underlucius & amanuensis1

[melpemone]

Author: underlucius
Title: Gloria Patri
Pairing: Draco/Lucius
Challenge: The imitation of good faith is how you stumble upon hate - The Wallflowers, Invisible City

Comments

[bksncleverness]

I love the way you kept coming back to that same line. Such a _____ tease. It gave the story a nice rhythm.

Boy, I would love to see what happened next.

Well done.

[amanuensis1]

Thank you! You know, I felt the story deserved the same "left to the imagination" air that the drabble had, for some reason. Just the way it seemed.

[underlucius]

Thank you sweetie, this was quite lovely, a much nicer nicer Lucius than I imagined - and doesn't he love his son!!

And i'm so pleased that you got my drabble!

*hugs*

[amanuensis1]

I so very much wanted to stay true to the essence of your last line--the ambiguity of it that any reader would take as euphemism and not merely coyness, but I loved being allowed that ambiguity of it! And I liked the idea that Lucius may not be as gentle and Draco not as teasing as Lucius narrates them both to be--he may have quite the skewed view of it. Thank you so much, dearest!

[pitchblackrose]

Oh, what a pair of writers! It was obvious right from the header that this would be good.

I love how the fic stays true to the drabble, but still going in a completely different direction. And I love how haunting this is, yet staying within the PG-13 rating. And I love Draco ;)

[switchknife]

Delicious. Added to list of recs. (Would squee longer--because--oh, how gorgeous!--but must be offline soon. Sigh.)

You DO realise that this needs a... smuttier sequel? Pleasepleaseplease. Your Draco is such a delightful little tease that I have a somewhat Lucius-like instinct to hear the imp begging for it, instead.

*licks lips*

Oh, and--just one suggestion--'It drove Narcissa and me mad' should perhaps be 'It drove Narcissa and I mad', since that seems more Lucius' style.

Must be going now!

*hugs quickly*

[switchknife]

Whoops! Didn't realise this wasn't Amanuensis' LJ. Sorry, all.

[melpemone]

Don't be. Best Review Ever. :D

[amanuensis1]

Wah, you don't know how I struggled with the "and me"/"and I" thing! Betas insisted "and me" was grammatically correct, and they're right, but I hated how it sounded--I wanted Lucius to sound pretentious and Lucius-y. Finally decided that Lucius's pretentiousness would be to be grammatically correct even when it sounded colloquial to--heh heh--less educated ears.

"Imp." Ooh, you make me squee. Thank you so much!

[cluegirl]

Thank you for FINALLY showing me a Lucius whose relationship to his son isn't based on loathing! I don't know what it is about that trope which makes it so damn popular -- and, of course I'm as guilty of that overuse as anyone -- but it's actually a real relief to see Lucius as a loving, indulgent father who cares a bit too much for his son.

You've done a lovely job with this.