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Amazing how a seemingly good thing made me feel a bit worse.
Evan and I made up today and it was great.
We even had one of our nice chats in his bed.
The only thing though is that when I tried to be serious with him he made jokes ("that's what she said lol" NOT!) or tried to change the subject.
I was being the honest I've been in a long time and idk I guess it just kinda hurt that he didn't take me serious.
Oh ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I'm so rediculous!
I have a huge paper to writ and a huge test on Tuesday and I haven't studied at all!
I'm already failing out and yet I just sit and watch my life fall apart.
On a positive note I got accepted to the PA waiting room and everyone is soo nice!
I really hope I get into the ProANA community.
I love reading their posts and they really help ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
They all think it's a joke.
Just because I like emo guys and em pics they don't care how I really feel.
"Whats that on your wrist?"
"Did you try to kill your self?"
"Oh obviously you can't even do that right!"
Hah! If only they knew what was actually under my headband.
I put it there to hide it.
But they joke about it.
Do they know it's really there?
I ( Read more... ) -
I hate myself
Ok so one of my favorite movies is girl interrupted.
I never really understood why I loved the movie soo much but when I watched it today it all came flooding into my head,
I am exactly like Winona Ryder's character.
Almost to a T.
I am messed up.
They are all right.
Everyone.
The only time I'm happy is when I am alone.
I think I may need help.
Or maybe it ( Read more... ) -
Day 1 (I wonder how long it will take me to give up?)
Why do I do this to myself?
Why do I care what people think?
Why do I care if I'm hurting his feelings, when he made me cry last night?
Why did I pretend to be happy for soo many years?
It is all coming down on me at once!
I'M NOT THE FAKE ONE!
or am I?
Sure I haven't been honest by pretending to be happy, but who does that hurt besides myself?
I didn't ( Read more... ) -
Your first clue to my insanity
This is my first journal entry and since I don't feel like telling you all the details of my life at this time you may be somewhat confused. Hopefully over time you will come to understand some things about me, my mind, and my life.
Some things you should know:
I have trust issues, self confidence issues, and many other issues.
Many people think I ( Read more... )