Ok, I wanted to pee my pants after looking at this web page. I came across this when I was searching for New Kids on the Block lyrics. Fuck you ( Read more... )

Today I was finally putting away my socks. I have strange sock habits because I need to make sure they are the exact same sock and worn about the same. So when I put away my socks, it usually takes awhile and this is why I wait so long to do it. Once, in junior high I coded my socks to make it easier. I wrote, on the bottom of each sock, a letter ( Read more... )

I was downtown today during my lunch break and a homeless man said to me, "Hey Girl, you look better than a 12-piece bucket of chicken."
He's homeless so I am sure he doesn't see a 12- piece bucket of chicken too often. I am sure I look damn good. That was the highlight of my day!

Yesterday, at the Clint Black concert, I saw the man of my fucking dreams. I faked having to pee 4 times just so I could walk by him. Psychotic much?

I had my first beer today at 9:31 A.M.

It doesn't get more trashy than this folks.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5456307/
My favorite part is when they said he was charged "with possession of an alligator." We all saw that one coming. But my question is, if they kept the gator in their bathtub, where did they shower??

I am a mean heartless Bitch and I love it. Yeah, Bitch with a capital B because I deflate men's egos with the click of my mouse. I thought it would be funny to answer someone's date application page on their website. Apparently they didn't think it so funny when I answered questions like "What turns you off?" with "You, you, and you." And when ( Read more... )

So I was stopped at a traffic light yesterday with my friend Surfing Mike and it occurred to me that transvestites and I have 2 things in common. One, we both like to wear womens clothing and, two, they can never find anything in their purses either. Take for example, the transvestite I saw at the very same traffic light. HE was wearing a purple ( Read more... )

Please click here for the funny story of the day ( Read more... )

Hooray for me and all the controversy I cause. I feel like the most recent Britney Spears marriage craze. Anyway, I have decided to go with less serious and more funny. You should never take yourself too seriously. Besides, as my least favorite person always says, "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke." (I think he was on to something ( Read more... )