Darling, I was just thinking -- I'm really glad I let you borrow that belt. Definitely one of my better decisions.

Anyway, it occurred to me this morning that you've probably never had the experience of a Muggle ice cream cake before, so I went ahead and picked one up for you.


( Read more... )

Anybody go see it yet?

Acromantula-man, Acromantula-man,
Does whatever an Acromantula can.
Saves a boy and is saved by a boy.
Seriously, you don't want to know.
Look out! Here comes the Acromantula-man.

Thank you, Dobby. I've had so much to say recently, and the non-robust server has been preventing me from saying any of it for what seems like months!

Well, that and the new fall season of wizarding programs.

Oh.

Hmm.

I appear to have done something wrong when saving my drafts. Oh well. Perhaps tomorrow.

I've been hearing a whole host of disturbing rumours about NEWTS, and I thought one of you wonkier sorts might be able to tell me what's true and what's not.

1. That there simply are no NEWTS this year, and that we're free to begin our summer holidays at our leisure.
2. That NEWTS this year are going to be replaced by some sort of wet-robe contest at ( Read more... )

Did anyone Wizvo My Name is Ezekiel or WCSI: Salem last night? Pansy apparently set mine to record some thing on Sun Tzu, and I really don't want to miss either of them this week.

OH, MERLIN, I THINK PANSY IS MISSING NOW AS WELL. I'VE LOOKED IN TWENTY-TWO DIFFERENT PLACES, AND SHE'S IN NONE OF THEM!!!!

WAIT, I JUST THOUGHT OF ONE MORE PLACE TO LOOK.

BRB.

SHIT, SHE WASN'T THERE, EITHER. I'VE LOOKED IN TWENTY-THREE PLACES, AND PANSY IS DEFINITELY MISSING.

HELP!!!!!!

CORNER!!!

THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE, CORNER!!!

AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHAT ELSE IS THIS INFERNAL MACHINE OF YOURS GOING TO DO TO PANSY?

I NEED TO RESCUE HER, NOT TURN HER INTO RAGGEDY ANN.

I finished the rum.
Now the tequila is gone,
And none of it helped.

I am so stupid,
I'd kill for a time machine
Just to make it right.

I'd wish I were Boot,
If only I had no pride.
Thank Merlin, I guess.

Rum is delicious
But tears are bitter, salty.
I miss my Pansy.

Various things that annoy me:

• People with no sense of how wide their brooms or carpets are, who are incapable of flying in the same sky as oncoming brooms because they're petrified they're going to hit one another, even though there's always enough space to fly an elephant through.
• Goyle and Finnigan skulking around the castle, acting all ( Read more... )