you might as well

lean into the guillotine

to clear your head

because you lost it

anyway

and now you're already

dead

If I deserved what I thought i did, I'd have gotten it by now.

pity party
no cake
no guests
a table full of sorrow
close my eyes
make a wish
and make
a better tomorrow

uncool lunchbox
discount shoes
throw into lockers
pants wetter blues

They've greased the rings of my life's ladder that when I fall it will be a splatter instead of a shatter

defeat
calls for sleep
except for when
it's your whole show
then you go down
for how long
god only knows

compilation christ
crucifix composite
cemented sins
eternal deposit.

the hole in my soul
ruins everything
i am so sorry
that i have to
keep apologizing
for who i am

i left the porch light on
and the key is hidden
under an obvious rock
im not saying
that i was hoping you'd take the hint
but im wearing a gallon of cologne
have on the same music from
junior high dances
and my inner child
is up there alone
waiting for a future
too fantastic for
him to even
imagine
beyond the veil
of rejection
and shame

will there ever be room for me
at the table?
i don't need a hot meal
a warm chair or a cool drink
just the icy floor
i get all the sun i need
just from
being there.