My life is BUSY ( Read more... )

Breaking up clay with a pickaxe.
Building a path for Nanny.
Staying with her.
Staying away from Stephen.
I'm all torn up inside.
I cry and hide.
Don't look at me.

Housesitting for Electra and James in Junction City ( Read more... )

Stephen and I started seeing a couples councelor. He is a witch and a shaman. He can actually hear us when we talk about subtle interaction, energies, and denial of true feelings. He's definitely the right councelor for us ( Read more... )

I am trying to be honest--deeply honest, about my feelings and motivations. I realized recently how little I know about myself, and consequently, how little I share of myself. People who think they know me don't really KNOW me. Some, like Stephen, have seen me be authentic enough to have some idea, and recognize the facade as unreal. Probably more ( Read more... )

I went swimming near this bridge. This picture is several years old. Now, the bridge is destroyed, and only juts out about five feet into the water from either bank. Bob told me the bridge used to flood over every year, so the gov't built a new one, much higher over the river. I could see the new bridge from the old one. In fact, I swam ( Read more... )

The cicadas are so loud its like sleeping with my head in a waterfall. Some kind of giant brown beetle keeps hurling itself against the window and falling on its back on the air conditioner. It struggles it right itself, only to throw itself against the window and land on its back again ( Read more... )

Old Bob in the trailer next door is only 51 years old. He seems almost 80! Run hard and put away wet. His daughter is my age.

Bob took me driving along the mountain dirt roads today in a stick shift Chevy truck. After that, an automatic will be easy!

Larry, I don't think it's right to keep a secret like that from your wife. Also, it isn't right for me to stay here with you. I have a boyfriend in Eugene. It would be wrong for me to live alone with a man. That's why I'm staying with you and Chris rather than with Bob ( Read more... )

I have no idea what time it is. Morning. Sun's been up for a while. I dreamed I was in bed with Stephen and resenting him. Humping his dick though our clothes and hating him. I don't want to have sex with Stephen. He's too old and too didactic. Maybe I can't marry someone who knows me and loves me so well. That doesn't mean we can't be ( Read more... )