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FRUSTRATED
frustrated -
disappointed
last night chris and i met again, and it was a long talky walk around city park lake. every once in a while chris would stop and say something like "if that's the way you feel about the way i deal with things, we have no chance." i had to rephrase myself multiple times last night to avoid divorce. that's how i feel about it. clearly, this is a ( Read more... ) -
alright
i think i'll actually post on this tomorrow, but i did see chris today. we had about an hour and a half of previously viewed conversation. we both cried, she did just a bit of yelling, and i still need to accept her the way she is. boulder and the fireworks were nice, but i'm getting down doing all of these things when i can't do them with chris. ( Read more... ) -
indecision
chris might be coming over at noon. she said she'd be over for the camping stuff. i'm here right now, but i said i would get away and i want to leave, but i feel like i'm running and i feel like i should be able to be cordial with her. but the idea of seeing her without touching her, or running another "business transaction" interaction is so -
before i fall asleep
i want to relay a moment and its context ( Read more... ) -
TODAY
unlike yesterday, today has none of the fixie trixters, the yoga class, the fitness boot campers, or the wonderfully varied open mike performers. it has only the gentle drone of the telemetry montitors ( Read more... ) -
new song, apropos
Gunpowder ( Read more... ) -
mitigating factors
being in pediatric nursing class doesn't help ne with my biological clock thing, and it's another thing that i'm conscious of holding against chris, although i don't want children with her right now either, i still, independent of this situation, want to be a father. it's something i'm going to have to rein in, but with all of the other emotion ( Read more... ) -
good things
it's not like me to dwell on the negatives, and i have allowed that for a couple of days. my life refuses to stop for it, and my person refuses to bow to it. in an effort to remember the good things, i'm going to remember the good things. here ( Read more... ) -
coffee late
at "city o'city," a really nice coffeeshop/bar right near downtown. pretty good caps, swanky gluten free desserts ( Read more... )