Blissfully ignorant of what’s going on with you

[hurley_liz]

Since I spend more time with David and Elton than my own boyfriend it was only natural that I got to supercede Elton for the title of “Queen of the Ball” at his White Tie and Tiara charity ball the other night. I looked better in the tiara than he did, and it isn’t as if he’d be willing to muss his hair plugs to wear it, although I don’t know if

Comments

[carlos_d]

1. Diego Garcia
2. Fully loaded iPod
3. Enough alcohol to keep me fully loaded
4. Sunscreen by the buckets
5. Cigarettes with a fully loaded lighter

That is all.

[hurley_liz]

Well now, here we go:

1. Gwyneth Paltrow
2. A DVD player and a collection of my movies
3. A few cases of Krug Clos du Mesnil 1995 champagne
4. Tanning lotion, you pale goth freak!
5. Sobranie Cocktail cigarettes, a bit of pastel brightness for my smoking pleasure, and a boy with a thousand matches to light my fags

There is always more.

[derossi]

1. Sonic Youth's entire discography (with solar operated CD player.)
2. Strawberry Hubba Bubba, given it still exists.
3. Sun lotion.
4. Dirty magazines.
5. You. ;)

[hurley_liz]

I will be certain to get lost with you, if only to realise my amazon dreams. Would you blow bubbles with that Hubba Bubba or use it to stick together some sticks and fashion a raft for our escape? The hell with that, we can use the gum to post some centerfolds from the dirty magazines on trees and make the island more homey. Can we include some Robbie Williams with the Sonic Youth? I don't know if I could handle a few weeks of indie music, I need something I can bump and grind to.

[grant_h]

I hope you were pleased that I turned up at the ball without said, shudder, fiancee. No doubt you too will be getting 'engaged' soon as anything I can do and the rest of it. On another note I was miffed to see my name was somewhat tragically missed out of your mbp introduction. Clearly an oversight. I should comment and have them edit it in.

The questions hurt my brain. Bed time, may address them tomorrow.

[grant_h]

5 people is easy though. Sandra, my girlfriend. You, my ex girlfriend. Portia, my fake girlfriend. Jemima, my fake media girlfriend and Rachel Stevens, my soon to be bit on the side and wannabe girlfriend.

[hurley_liz]

Hugh and his harem, that will be an island of delights and lesbian fun.

[hurley_liz]

I'm sure you had to leave Jemima home to tend to the dishes or some other nonsense that fake girlfriends busy their dull lives with. While Arun is a good beard for my not so secret affair with Gwyn I don't know if he's good enough to fake as my fiancé. It was a glaring oversight that I would have demanded to be corrected if anyone actually read those things. I will be sure to never update without mentioning you in case anyone gets confused as to my reason for living.

Come on now, your response makes my brain hurt and you're lucky you came up with another comment! Does your face hurt, too? It's hurting me.

[r_romijn]

I didn't see the word "bitch" enough in this update, Liz. Try again!

[hurley_liz]

I was trying to reserve a few mentions for my comments. I promise my next update will have at least five bitches even if all of them are in reference to me.

[gwynethpaltrow]

Elizabeth, my husband just got a new journal and he sucks. Let's play the lesbian game again!

[hurley_liz]

Until I make an honest woman of you, you are my American slapper. There is no way I'll let that ignorant twit anywhere near you, love. Your sanity is safe with me even if your chastity isn't.